


I Wanna Believe in Everything You Say

by aleia



Series: Begin Again [5]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-01-17 01:10:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 59,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia
Summary: With the season over, Kent and Alexei finally get time together to figure out their relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, "Sometimes" is totally the perfect Britney song for this fic. I don't make the rules. Kent does.

Kent wakes up the day after losing the conference finals to find Kit nuzzling under his chin and tapping her paw on his cheek. Alexei is still passed out behind him. Either he doesn’t move in his sleep in general, or he’s like Kent and stays in one place when he’s completely worn out. Either way, Kent is happy to wake up in his arms. He’d be happy to stay there all morning if Kit would let him. He could just send Jack a text that said, _Sorry, eat without me. Trapped under the arms of a giant, jolly Russian._

Instead, he tries to slip out of Alexei’s arms without waking him. Alexei tries to pull him back as he wakes. It’s adorable. Kent is so screwed.

“Just need to feed Kit so she leaves me alone,” Kent explains as he gets up. He checks his phone and it’s only eight. They can loiter in bed a bit longer.

It’s a show of his laziness that Kent keeps everything to mix Kit’s food in the second closet in the bedroom. When he did a tour of his house, fans zeroed in on how much his cat was spoiled by having a cat door cut out of the door of the closet and the whole second closet to herself, but it’s really Kent spoiling himself. The house is too big for him and this way he can feed her quickly and climb back in bed. Of course, she’s still spoiled, but no one except Jeff knows that sometimes he lets her eat at the table with him so he doesn’t have to eat alone.

Kent detours to the bathroom to brush his teeth before he rejoins Alexei on the bed. Alexei wraps him up as soon as Kent is close enough. He nuzzles against the back of Kent’s neck, pressing small kisses into his skin.

“You’re going to make me cancel brunch with Jack and Bob so I can stay here,” Kent says.

“Can’t cancel,” Alexei says even though he makes no move to let Kent go. “Zimmboni think wrong thing and get mad at me.”

“Jack should learn to mind his own business.”

Alexei hugs Kent tighter for a second before backing away and pulling gently on Kent’s shoulder to prompt him to turn over. When they’re both on their sides facing each other, he reaches down to take one of Kent’s hands in both of his. He lifts Kent’s hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles before lowering their hands against his chest.

“Kотенок,” Alexei says so Kent will look up at him. “When you come to hotel before game, you let me think is not important for you. So, I do what you ask. I think okay. Could have been just fun for me. But then I see is not nothing to you.”

Kent looks away. He can’t help it. He’s sure that both Jeff and Caitlyn would tell him that he needs to talk to Alexei about these kinds of things, but it wasn’t just Jack’s fault that they never talked about anything.

“Kотенок, you ask Jeff what he say when he call me?”

Kent shakes his head. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He didn’t want to fight with Jeff about it.

“He say he not mad with me yet. That sometimes, you decide things too fast. That you don’t think first. You know things hurt you, but sometimes you do anyway. That also maybe you think easier to get sex than get this when this what you need. And he know I not know any better. But he tell me that now I know. I know just sex hurt you. I know too much too fast upset you. Now, if I not careful and hurt you, it my fault too. And he can’t be mad at you, so he be mad at me.”

“I’m sorry.” Kent wants to be mad at Swoops, but it sounds like Jeff’s shovel talk was actually a lot less threatening than he guessed. Plus, it’s true. Everything turned out fine because Alexei wanted to see him again, but it wouldn’t have been fair to blame him if he hadn’t. Kent never gave him any indication that he wanted anything more than a hook-up before they’d had sex, but Kent still would’ve ended up curled up on the couch hating himself if Alexei hadn’t called.

“No, Kотенок, no be sorry. Is okay. But maybe Zimmboni help me, not so bad thing.”

“Why do you even want him to?” Kent doesn’t look up. He’s already fighting tears, but he still needs to ask. He really wishes he could figure out how to just hook up like the other guys do, but then, if he could, he’d probably be outed by now.

“What? You not want? I don’t understand.”

“I’m such a mess that my friends have to try to help you deal with me. You asked me a while ago if I was just dating you because you were my only option. Is that why you’re doing this? Because I’m your only option? You can probably find an option that’s a lot less work. You can find someone who doesn’t have problems you have to watch out for.”

“What? No, no. Don’t want other option.”

Alexei lets go of his hand and tries to get Kent to look at him but Kent shakes him off. He hates this. He shouldn’t care so much. And he shouldn’t be this upset out of nowhere. He’s proving his own point about how over-dramatic and high maintenance he is without even trying. Maybe he should tell Alexei he needs space to calm down and figure out why he’s so upset for no good reason. But that might freak Alexei out more.

“I hold you?” Alexei asks. “Is okay?”

Kent nods even though he knows it’s a bad idea. This is going to make it hurt more later if Alexei decides he’s too difficult to deal with. He just wants to be normal for once so he doesn’t fuck up every relationship he has. Still, he lets Alexei gather him into his arms and pull him in.

“Want this with you. Only you, yes?” Alexei says. Kent nods a little to show he heard even if he doesn’t know if he believes it.

“I want you. I want you because you good man. You decide to love cat no one else wants. You friend with Jack after he hurt you. You say not his fault he have to take care of self first. You friend with Bitty. You see he good person even if he with Jack. You leave locker room last because you make sure team okay first. You notice when Jack have problems before me and tell me so I help. You see I’m sad and have Itty Bitty make me something special.”

He pauses but Kent can’t think of anything to say before he starts talking again.

“Dating never easy. No one easy. I not easy either,” Alexei says. “I not ask before we have sex. I need learn not judge you before I know. I scared to be gay and not even tell Jack before you make it okay.”

“You’re easier than me,” Kent says through his tears. He lets himself snuggle closer though. Even if he doesn’t agree with Alexei, he believes Alexei means what he’s saying.

“Is not a contest, but I don’t think you that difficult. Is easy for me. Skype with you best part of my day. Make me smile so much whole team ask why.”

Alexei eases him back and this time Kent wipes his eyes and looks up. Alexei smiles at him and Kent can’t help smiling back.

“Most beautiful man I ever see. Am very lucky,” Alexei says.

“You’re ridiculous.” Kent laughs into Alexei’s kiss.

“Cannot argue. ESPN not ask me to pose naked.”

“Their loss.”

***

Kent wants to get out of bed even less after his freak-out. Crying always makes him tired. But Jack texts him to verify that he wants to meet at the diner he took Jack and Bitty to the last time they were in town, and Alexei is right that they shouldn’t cancel.

Jack and Bob pull into the parking lot before them and wait before going in.

Zimms scans his face for a second before he looks at Bob and nods toward the door.

“You guys get a table. I want to talk to Kenny for a minute.”

Kent can see Alexei reach out to him for a second and then remember they’re in public and pull back. Kent just shrugs and nods to the door.

“Order me coffee?”

Alexei nods.

“Don’t take too long or we’re eating without you,” Bob says.

Jack leads him back to the rental car he came in and gestures for Kent to get in the passenger seat.

“What happened?” Jack asks as soon as the doors are closed.

“Zimms, what are you talking about?” If it was Bitty or even Jeff, he’d think they wanted to know about his night with Tater, but he and Zimms tend to avoid details. They’re not at that point yet, and Kent’s not sure they ever will be. He’s not sure he wants to be.

“I can tell when you’ve been crying Kenny. What did he do?” Jack’s voice is like steel. The illogical part of Kent that is still feeling raw from the morning kind of enjoys it.

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Kenny, come on.”

“Seriously Zimms. We were talking and I got upset for no good reason, but it’s fine.” Kent would be annoyed or embarrassed, but he’s sat through Jack’s panic attacks so he figures they’re past that.

“Why would you get upset for no reason?”

“Because sometimes I hate myself and it makes me think everyone else will too?” Kent says. “And I think I probably got more upset than I should’ve because I’m still worn out from playoffs.”

“Kenny…”

“Zimms, seriously, it’s fine. I freaked out. Alexei made it very clear that even if I hate myself, he doesn’t. I don’t get why he likes me, but he made it clear that he does, so you have nothing to be mad at him about.”

“Kenny, there’s a lot of reasons he should like you.”

“Normally, I’d be happy to hear those reasons, but we talked about how easy it is for me to get worked up again once it’s happened, so can you please not?” Kent says. “I’d like to actually get coffee and eat. If you make me cry, then I’m just going to be back here explaining to him why you made me cry and we’ll keep repeating the process until I starve to death. And your dad has probably already told him three embarrassing stories about us while we were out here.”

“Okay, okay.” Zimms smiles a little and reaches for the door, but turns back before he opens it. “But I’m going to say something if it happens again.”

He gets out of the car before Kent can argue, so Kent decides to let it go. He knows when he can’t win an argument with Zimms and this isn’t one worth trying to win anyway.

Because he has the worst timing ever, Zimms waits for him to come around to the front of the car and pulls him into hug. Kent sinks into it because he’s never going to be able to resist Jack’s hugs, but he groans as he does it.

“Seriously. You need to let me eat.”

Jack laughs and lets him go.

***

After brunch, Kent takes Alexei around the strip because he’s only been to Vegas with the team and he’s never even been in the casinos. Kent hates that he’s not allowed to take pictures of how delighted Alexei gets when he wins five dollars playing slots. He’s so cute the whole afternoon that the difficult morning seems far away by the time they get back to Kent’s house.

Tater insists on planning their first date even though they’re in Kent’s city. It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s adorable, so Kent decides if it’s awful, he’ll just let it go. It doesn’t matter anyway. The point isn’t what they do. They’ve spent enough time on Skype that Kent knows he likes Alexei, but he couldn’t help worrying that Alexei would find him annoying in person.

They both end up with nicer jeans and shirts than normal without being too dressed up. It’s not Kent’s favorite option, but if they get caught, Kent has to be able to say he was just showing his friend a fun time in Vegas. Alexei stops him at the door where they’re waiting for a car to pick them up so they don’t have to worry about drinking.

“Should be proper and wait until after date, but is already too hard pretending to be just friend all day.”

Alexei threads his fingers though Kent’s with one hand and slides the other behind his head to pull him into a kiss. Kent groans when Alexei’s phone beeps, and he pulls away. Alexei just laughs.

“No more. First, we have best first date. Maybe more after date.”

“Maybe?”

“We see what feels right.” Alexei’s hand squeezes his before he lets go and opens the door.

The downside of having to pretend they aren’t on a date is that Kent can’t drive Alexei crazy trying to guess where they’re going. Instead he ends up fidgeting and trying to pay attention to where they’re going. Alexei just smiles and glances at the driver to make sure he isn’t looking before putting his hand on top of Kent’s between them for a few seconds. Kent hates that they can’t just hold hands like normal people. He knows that’s why Bitty and Zimms stay home instead of going out a lot of the time.

He’s surprised when they pull up in front of the Treasure Island Hotel and Casino and Alexei motions for him to get out. He knew Alexei liked the slots, but he wasn’t expecting to be back at a casino so soon.

“Are you going to tell me yet?” Kent asks after the car is gone.

“You tell me you like Vegas shows and never get to go. Too busy with hockey. I get tickets to Cirque,” Alexei says. His smile is nervous even though he’s right. Kent did say that.

“Xei, that’s awesome. I haven’t seen Cirque de Soleil since prospect camp,” Kent smiles and rests his hand on Alexei’s shoulder for a few seconds. It could be friendly, but it’s still a bit of the contact that he wants. Alexei’s smile grows, and he leads them inside and to the theatre.

The show’s amazing. Kent thinks it’s unfair that he’s probably making more money as an athlete than the performers. He can’t imagine doing half of what they’re doing. He probably looks like a kid while watching the whole thing, but when he glances at Alexei, Alexei smiles back. He snaps a couple pictures to send Bitty so Jack has to take him next time. Alexei insists on buying a program and souvenirs. For once Kent wants the tacky mask to remember the night and not just because it’s awesome.

“Good date?” Alexei asks after the car drops them off at home.

“Almost the best date,” Kent says as he pulls Alexei inside.

“Almost?”

“Could be made a bit better.” Kent smirks as he leans against the door.

“Oh? I can still make best date?” Alexei smiles as he crowds Kent against the door with his body.

“It’s getting better.”

“You like when I have you against door?”

“Or wall. Or bed. Couch would probably work too.”

Alexei laughs and leans down to kiss him, pressing against Kent with his whole body. Kent runs his hands up Alexei’s back. It’s not long before he loses control and his hips jerk forward. Alexei lets him push forward for a minute before backing away. He pulls back from the kiss, drops four kisses down Kent’s neck to his shoulder before stepping back.

“Is just first date.”

“Okay, yes, officially. But we’ve had a ton of Skype dates and those count as something.”

“Wait a bit longer okay?” Alexei says. “Just want to be sure.”

Kent nods because even if he knows this is about him, he still grew up with Bob telling him a million times that both people had to be sure about sex to do it. It doesn’t matter _why_ Alexei isn’t sure.

“Still come to bed with me if I promise to be good?”

“Yes. I don’t like sleeping alone either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, wow. I swear this whole thing is actually finished. First I didn't have time to do the final edits I wanted before I sent this to my beta. Then my beta didn't have time to beta. Then I didn't look at the edits she sent me. If there's still mistakes in this, let me know. I'm exhausted and I might've missed stuff, but I'm also an over worked person with BPD so I'm totally trying to get this up so I can get some validation. Haha. At least it's productive.
> 
> The good news is that while waiting to edit, I've written even more extra scenes and sequels. So there's that!


	2. Chapter 2

When Kent wakes up, Alexei is asleep on his back and Kent is draped over his chest. Kit is poking him in the back and meowing. This time Kent manages to get up without waking Alexei. After Kit is fed and Kent makes it back to bed, he picks up his phone and sees five texts from Swoops.

 **Swoops:** I have given you so much time. Did he take you on a real date last night?  
**Swoops:** When do I get to meet him? I know you had brunch with the Zimmermanns yesterday.  
**Swoops:** What happened that you were crying? Jack told me nothing that made sense.  
**Swoops:** I would have called, but he didn’t text me until this morning.  
**Swoops:** If you don’t answer me by noon, I’m coming over.  
**Kent:** I just woke up. WTF did Jack say? I’m fine.  
**Swoops:** He said to keep an eye out for you bc he knew you were crying in the morning and I know sometimes your moods hang on a few days. But that it wasn’t a big deal and you were fine. That makes no fucking sense dude. You were ok after the game. What happened???

Kent wants to be mad at Zimms, but it’s hard. Zimms is awkward and doesn’t know how to explain things that are simple half the time. His version of trying not to betray Kent’s trust and still watch out for him probably made sense in his own head.

 **Kent:** Ok, next time Jack tries this, get the real story out of Bitty before you freak out. I’ll give you his number bc he’ll understand how bad Jack is at this.  
**Swoops:** Fine, but you are awake now, so tell me what happened.  
**Kent:** I’m me. Alexei said something and I got upset because I am a mess. And I don’t know why he likes me when I’m such a mess. He tried to explain. I was already upset so I heard everything the worst way and got more upset.  
**Kent:** But you shouldn’t be mad at him. Bc he held me and said that he doesn’t think I’m difficult at all. And he likes me for a lot of reasons that he listed out. And that all relationships are hard sometimes and stuff. Basically, I had a stupid minor breakdown for no reason, but he still likes me and acted like it was no big deal. So I’m fine.  
**Swoops:** Minor? Give me a number on the scale?  
**Kent:** 4, but more like a 3  
**Swoops:** You never use the number system like that. Explain.  
**Kent:** Felt like a 4 at first but he calmed me down soon enough that it was 2 for time and I didn’t end up that worked up. So 3 to average? And after I calmed down and thought about it, it probably partly happened because I was extra sensitive from losing before we even got to the finals.  
**Swoops:** Huh. Ok. I still feel like that’s not the whole story. But I believe what you said, so I’ll take it. But we are still hanging out today.  
**Kent:** Are you going to be weird?  
**Swoops:** Probably less weird than I was planning to be last week.  
**Swoops:** Either way, me getting to know him better was always part of the plan.  
**Kent:** Less weird, really?  
**Swoops:** Well, you got upset when he was there and it seems like it went ok. I’m withholding points for him until I’m sure you’re ok, but he might get some points there. And you’ve never told me something started at 4 and ended at 2. That makes me happy and worries me at the same time.  
**Kent:** He was really great. He just won’t have sex with me because you guys freaked him out.  
**Swoops:** Parse, I know you don’t want to hear this at all, but if you had a freak out in the morning, you know sex last night would have been a really bad idea  
**Kent:** 2 Swoops. Sex after a 2 is not a huge deal.  
**Swoops:** There was a 4 in there too.  
**Kent:** Did you actually tell him not to have sex with me if I had any kind of freak out?  
**Swoops:** I definitely did not say anything at all about you having any kind of freakout/breakdown/episode whatever we call it. So, he figured that out on his own.

Alexei shifts next to him and reaches to wrap his arm around Kent as he wakes up. Kent tells Jeff he’ll get back to him about hanging out.

“You wake up before me again. And I should be on different time.”

“Kit knows who to wake up to feed her.”

Kent tosses his phone on the bed and curls into Alexei’s arms. He’s going to miss waking up like this when Alexei goes home.

“Need to go to gym today. Zimmboni give more shit than coaches if I come back out of shape,” Alexei says.

“You guys had to know that he was like that when you gave him more power,” Kent says. The man made his own boyfriend train when they were in Vegas.

“Is good for team.”

“Yeah, I can point you to a good gym. I need to go in, too. Locker cleanout and exit interviews and all that. I might be a while. I’d try to hurry, but…”

“You captain. I know is important to you.”

“Yeah. Don’t tell Zimms I don’t really get involved in much of how the guys do their off-season training.”

“You captain your way. He captain his ways. Aces good, so your way must work for you.”

“I like to hope so,” Kent says. “Jeff will probably follow me home. He wants to hang out. I think he’s already started to like you though, so it might not be so bad.”

“Is okay if it is.”

“I think he just wants to know you. Probably so he doesn’t have to go through Zimms. He wants to like you. He doesn’t want to like Jack at all.”

“He angry Zimmboni hurt you.”

“It wasn’t his fault.”

“No. Jack explain to me his side. Not his fault, but you still hurt, yes?”

“Yeah. And that’s right when I met Swoops. So he saw the worst of it.”

“And he help you? Be good friend?”

“Yeah. He’s the only reason I didn’t completely lose it. I think he gets that it wasn’t Jack’s fault, but he can’t forget that.”

“Then I want to know him too. And you think he start to like me already? Good start!”

“Yeah, um,” Kent says, sighing because he doesn’t want to bring up what happened the previous morning, but he knows he should. The only reason he’s so close to Jack and Jeff is that they know about his issues. He’ll only get there with Alexei if he lets Alexei find out. And it’s probably better to start soon before it hurts more if he leaves.

“Jack, he figured out I got upset about something yesterday morning. I know you probably realized it was way worse that I should have been even if you didn’t act like it. He told Jeff, and I explained to Jeff that you didn’t freak out and make it worse, so he likes you more now.”

Alexei’s hand strokes up and down Kent’s back, and he leans down to press a kiss to Kent’s forehead before he says anything.

“They both hint at something. Say vague things about how you feel things. I know is something more. I do best I can, and you tell me more when ready. But is okay. Jeff seem like good guy. Jack I know is good friend. They not care so much if you were not good person to care about.”

Kent hides his face in Alexei’s chest and just nods. Even if Alexei says it’s fine, Kent is determined not to cry two mornings in row. Alexei squeezes him tighter for a minute and stays quiet.

***

The guys he sees when he walks into the locker room chirp him for disappearing so quickly after the game, as if any of them wanted to do anything besides go hug their families.

He chats with the guys while they clean out their stalls and take turns doing exit interviews. The entire hockey world knows how hard Jack Zimmerman trains and the boys claim he’s been working them harder since he and Zimms became friends again. It’s less about if they’re getting along and more about wanting to keep up with Zimms on the ice, but he’s not about to admit it. Instead, he threatens to keep track of their off-season training himself. It’s ineffective because they all know he trusts them too much to waste his time like that. He does check up with the guys who just finished their rookie season—both because he wants to know they’re taking the loss okay and that they’re listening to their trainers’ off-season schedules.

Swoops throws his arm around Kent’s shoulders and interrupts his conversation with Mills.

“He’s still living with Reaper. And Reaper’s wife and two kids. And he’s training with us. I don’t think he’s going to go binge-drinking every night in the off-season without you noticing. Come on. You owe me dinner.”

“You are the reason none of the rookies respect me,” Kent tells him. “And if you’re coming over, then _you_ owe _me_ dinner.”

“The entire team respects you,” Swoops says. “They’re just not scared of you. That’s completely your fault.”

Kent rolls his eyes but doesn’t bother to argue as he says goodbye and lets Jeff lead him away.

“So. How about you let me grill tonight? I got some steaks. You can have food that doesn’t come pre-proportioned from a service. You can keep Mashkov from finding out you can’t cook for another day. Or can he cook? Is he over there cooking you gourmet meals that you’re not sharing?”

“I was going to order something, but if you’re going to invite yourself over, you can grill,” Kent says instead of admitting that Bitty warned him four times not to let Alexei cook. “The food. Not him. You’ve already done that.”

“Asking him questions so I get to know him is not grilling him,” Swoops says as he gets in his car. He closes the door and drives off before Kent can argue. At least Kent knows he has to go to his own house and pick up the food first. Kent can still beat him home. He texts Alexei before he starts his car.

 **Kent:** I was right. Jeff invited himself over tonight. He’s at least making us dinner. I should be back in 10 minutes. He’ll probably take 20 more to get there.

Kent starts driving and lets Siri read Alexei’s reply.

 **Alexei:** Good. I back already. Don’t worry. Will be fine.

Alexei is holding Kit when he greets Kent at the door. He holds her in one arm while he kisses Kent hello, and she climbs her way into Kent’s arms before they separate. It’s adorable. He needs a distraction before he starts to freak out about how much he likes coming home to this. Kent pulls Alexei back to claim a second kiss before he gets too far away.

“Jeff coming,” Alexei says, pulling away after the kiss lingers. “We maybe should not be doing this when he get here.”

Kent groans, but he doesn’t want to squash Kit, and he did kind of slack on giving her attention the last two days. Still, if this goes on much longer, he’s going to push to change Jeff’s nickname from Swoops to Cock Block. He can make up a story for the rest of the team.

When he gets to the house, Swoops hands Kent his bags of food and shakes Alexei’s hand like they haven’t met multiple times on the ice and at other events. Kent only tolerates it because no matter how intimidating Swoops tries to be, Alexei is giant, and he can laugh off the firmest handshake Jeff can try.

“Kent not even tell me he have a grill!” Alexei says when Jeff tells him the plan.

“That’s because Kent bought a fancy grill just so he could make me grill for him here. He literally does not know how to use it,” Jeff says.

“Is complicated?”

“No,” Jeff says. “He just pretends he can’t do it so he doesn’t have to help.”

“If you think you’re going to shame me into learning because Alexei’s here, you clearly don’t know me,” Kent says as he settles in a lounge chair by the pool.

“Please, I hit my no trade clause in my contract because management knows you’ll die without me to babysit you.”

Kent laughs it off and pulls at Alexei to try and get him on the same chair.

“Kотенок, I not fit,” Alexei says chuckling.

Kent rolls his eyes, gets up and pushes Alexei into the chair before sitting back down between his legs so he can lean back against Alexei’s chest.

“Was going to offer help,” Alexei says, but he wraps his arms around Kent’s waist anyway.

“He invited himself over and promised me dinner for putting up with his ass. He doesn’t get help.”

“Maybe I’ll feed Mashkov and not you,” Jeff says without turning away from the where he’s pulling trays out of the bags that he must have prepped at home. Kent can hear the smile in his voice even if he can’t see it.

“That’s fine. Bitty sent us pie when I told him you were going to crash our vacation. I can eat those for dinner by myself.”

“Hey! What I do to lose pie?” Alexei’s fingers dig into his sides, and Kent jerks away laughing.

“Fine, fine, you can have yours. I’ll just eat the other two.”

“I’ll feed you just because I don’t want to see you try to finish two pies to prove a point and throw up on yourself,” Jeff says, then turns toward them to look at Alexei and adds, “Which you should know, he might do. Matty challenged him to a hot wing eating contest when he was a rookie, and he puked all over Reaper in the end. I was hosting him his first year, and he kept me up all night whining about how sick he was.”

Kent groans. He can’t even throw anything at Swoops because he might mess up his own dinner.

“Seriously, Swoops? I have Bob already to make me look stupid.”

“I’m like stories. Can never get Zimmboni to tell me anything fun,” Alexei says. He pulls Kent tighter against him and kisses the side of his head, making it hard for Kent to get mad.

“Zimms and I have a pact. Held together by mutually assured destruction. I have stories from Juniors that Bob doesn’t know about.”

“Doesn’t work with me because I was an adult when he met me,” Jeff says. “I see him pretend to be an adult all the time and then the rookies leave and he regresses.”

“You call it being an adult. Everyone else calls it being boring,” Kent says. “That’s why the rookies say I’m the cool dad and you’re grandpa.”

“So you admit you like it when they call you dad?”

“Only Mills. He’s my favorite son. Cupid will stay an orphan until he develops better taste in music.”

“He insulted Britney,” Jeff explains.

Alexei laughs.

“I already know that bad move.”

By the time they’re sitting down at the patio table with steak and kabobs of grilled vegetables, Kent has started to relax. If Jeff is mostly going to chirp him all night, he’s used to that. Which is, of course, when Jeff decides to make everything weird.

“You know I’m friends with Thirdy, right?” Jeff asks.

“Yes, he tell me,” Alexei says.

“I know he knows you’re gay because you told Parse he knew. But he hasn’t said anything to me about you, so you haven’t told him you’re dating Kent even though your whole team suspects you’re dating someone. I don’t get why you wouldn’t tell him unless you don’t want him to know it’s Kent. Which makes me wonder if you aren’t proud of being with him like you should be.”

“What the fuck, Jeff?” Kent interrupts before Alexei can answer. “It’s none of your business when he wants to tell people.”

“Is okay,” Alexei says, putting his hand on Kent’s knee.

“No, it’s not. You don’t have to answer that.”

“Is okay,” Alexei says again squeezing Kent’s knee. Kent glares at Jeff anyway.

“I not tell Marty or Thirdy because I not sure Kent ready for me to tell more of team. I very proud of Kent. Tell Snowy about him until he sick of listening and send me to Zimmboni. I tell Marty and Thirdy whenever Kent want.”

“I don’t care either way for the record. It’s up to you. But don’t do it because of him. I really don’t need you to. It’s not like I’ve told my team besides Jeff,” Kent says. “Which was maybe a dumb idea if he’s going to be an ass about shit I don’t care about.”

“You’re not out to the guys. Literally everyone who knows you’re gay, knows about Mashkov.”

“I don’t think Shitty and Holster know.”

“They aren’t that close friends. They found out because of Jack.”

“I’m still mad at you. You have used up the only jerk question you get without me kicking you out,” Kent says.

“You know I can do this without you here,” Jeff says.

Kent is about to tell him exactly what he thinks about that when Alexei’s hand moves from his knee to rub his back.

“Is okay. He ask what he want to ask. If I not want to answer, I say so,” Alexei says. “Unless it make you mad at me. Then up to you. I not want you mad at me.”

“I’m not going to be mad at you because he’s an asshole,” Kent says.

“Seriously, if you cross a line, I will cut you off and kick you out,” he says to Swoops.

“You know I’d rather have you mad at me then hurting because I didn’t say anything when I could have,” Jeff says. It’s not the first time he’s said it or made that kind of choice so it’s not like Kent can pretend he doesn’t mean it.

“Eat. Food get cold,” Alexei says to Kent and cuts into his own steak like he’s not bothered by the conversation at all. Kent sighs. At least he knows that if Tater can pick him up with one hand, he can probably physically remove Jeff from the house if Kent asks him to.

“If Kent ever gets more upset than he did yesterday morning, you should call me. I’ll help you before I get mad at you. And I won’t get mad at you unless you did something.”

“I would call if get worse. Was okay,” Alexei says, ignoring when Kent kicks Jeff under the table. Jeff nods like he didn’t even feel the kick.

“I know what Kent’s plan is if he gets outed. What is yours?”

“George has prepared statement for team if happens. I tell her I dating player on other team but not who. Have different statement if we both caught. Have nothing in Russia I need if can’t go home. Is not very likely, but if happen to get caught while in Russia, will get out as soon as possible. Applied for permanent resident two years ago just in case. Can stay in America if it happen either way. Do not need Kent for green card before you ask.”

“George is okay with not knowing who it is?” Jeff asks. Kent has to admit he would’ve asked that himself after Jeff left. He had no idea George knew anything about Alexei dating.

“I think she not want to know unless needed,” Tater says. He looks at Kent when he adds, “but she is smart. May suspect now because I go to games and stay here after. But she not going to ask.”

Kent shrugs. Jack trusts George and so does Alexei. There’s no reason to think she’s going to out him if she’s helping them.

“You know he’s not going to try to get a trade for you. He’s happy here. He’s good here.”

“Would not ask. I know is far now. We make work. Not planning to play as long as Jagr anyway.”

“Okay then,” Jeff says and goes back to his dinner.

“Are you done being a dick now?” Kent asks.

Jeff pauses with his fork in the air and looks to the side like he’s thinking. Then instead of answering he looks back at Alexei.

“One more thing.”

“Yes?” Alexei asks when it’s clear Jeff is waiting for an answer.

“If you cheat on him or leave him without an explanation, I will literally kill you. If I have to wait and kill you in your sleep, I will kill you. Xander Grimm will help me. He already doesn’t like you. He won’t even ask me why. I’ll just say you hurt Parse, and he’ll take my word for it without asking any questions.”

“Is fair. Will not be problem,” Alexei says, ignoring Kent’s groan completely and going back to his food again.

“I’m apologizing to Bob. You are the most embarrassing person in my life,” Kent says. “Reaper doesn’t even know I’m gay. He’s not going to help you.”

“Reaper met you when you were a seventeen year-old scrawny kid and TyKesha was pregnant for the first time. He imprinted all his pre-fatherhood feelings on you, and you know it. I’ve seen you take advantage of it.”

“I do not take advantage of it. I literally try to make him stop fighting people for me.”

“So that time your second year when that guy on the Aeros knocked your helmet off, you didn’t skate back over to him with Reaper so it was clear you asked Reaper to fight him.”

“I hate you,” Kent says.

“I love you, too,” Jeff says.

“In his defense,” Jeff adds looking at Alexei, “the guy was twice his size and he had bronchitis during that game. He got sick so much the first three years. It was like he’d leave Vegas for one roadie and his immune system would turn off.”

“Exactly. I was delusional. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Alexei chuckles, but Kent is finally blessed with silence as they finish dinner. He gets up and looks at Jeff when they’re both finished.

“Get up. You’re helping me carry pies.”

Jeff gets up without commenting—probably because he’s surprised he’s still getting pie. As they’re walking next to the pool Kent turns on him and pushes him in fully clothed. Jeff’s still swimming to the surface as he turns back around and waves to Alexei.

“Huh. I guess you’ll have to help me carry pies instead.”

Kent waits until they’re both inside before he turns reaches for Alexei.

“I’m so fucking sorry. He told me he wasn’t going to be weird. I honestly didn’t think he’d be that bad.”

“Kотенок, I expect to happen. He family, and he worry. And when I’m away and I worry, I know he take care of you like Marty and Snowy take care of me. Is good you have friend that love so much.”

“I really don’t care whether or not you tell Marty and Thirdy,” Kent says as he leans his head on Alexei’s shoulder. “But if they help take care of you and you want to, I really don’t mind.”

“Maybe when I get back. Will see.”

“Bitty will not get mad if I save Jeff’s pie for us to eat later. I’ll tell him what Jeff did, and he’ll agree with me.”

“Yes, but you already throw him in pool. Taking away Bitty pie is too much.”

***

Alexei makes a point of hanging back while Kent walks Swoops to the door.

“I’m still mad at you, and you don’t get to do this again. You harassed him, and you literally threatened his life, and it was not necessary. You’re done,” Kent says.

Jeff shrugs.

“Seriously. Never again.”

“I want you to be happy,” Jeff says. “I know I can’t force him to marry you, but if I can do anything to avoid watching you with a broken heart again, I’m going to do it.”

Kent sighs. It’s hard to be mad when Jeff’s the one who stuck around until he was back together the last time.

“That doesn’t mean I will mind doing it again if I have to,” Jeff says, “but I’d rather not have to.”

Jeff pulls him into a hug that lasts a little longer than bro standards say it should, picks up the leftovers of his pie from the console table, and leaves him alone.

Kent takes a few deep breaths before he goes back to the kitchen to find Alexei. He’s closing the dishwasher as Kent walks in. Kent steps behind Alexei to wrap his arms around his waist. Kent leans his forehead against Alexei’s back and sighs.

“Can you admit that was horrible? I know you don’t want me to feel bad, but either that was horrible or you’re not human. Or you’re not being honest with me because you think I can’t handle it—which is bullshit. Don’t lie to me because my friends have convinced you I’m going to break.”

Alexei turns in his arms and leans back against the kitchen counter.

“Was not best night,” Alexei says, “but was going to happen. Was better to get it over with.”

“If he tries anything like this again when I’m not here, I want you to tell me,” Kent says. “He doesn’t get to make any more weird threatening phone calls or anything.”

“Okay. Will tell you.” Tater nods and leans forward for a kiss. “Long night. Shower and rest?”

“Sure, whatever you want.”

Alexei doesn’t move right away so Kent stays where he is. It’s not like he’s in a rush to separate. Alexei reaches up to brush Kent’s cheek for a second, and Kent can’t help leaning into the touch. Alexei smiles.

“Like kitten. Lean into me like Kit.”

Kent doesn’t know what to say to that. Alexei’s not wrong, but he’s never had someone point it out like that. His need for physical affection is one of those things his friends just accept but don’t talk about most of the time.

“You want to share shower?” Alexei asks. “Is okay if no.”

“You’re the one who keeps telling me no,” Kent points out.

“Want to make sure you know I stay without sex,” Alexei says. “That I think you worth all this work with sex or with no sex.”

Kent steps closer so he can lean against Alexei’s shoulder and not look at him for a few moments. Alexei’s arms come up to hold him closer.

“Is too much when I say things like this?” Alexei ask. “Would you rather me not say?”

“No. I mean, it’s a lot. And I’m not good at hearing that stuff. But if you want to say it, I want to hear it.” Kent doesn’t say that he stopped saying things like that because he learned not to, because he never knew what was too much and scared people away. It was easier to stop talking about his feelings all together than figure out when he was crossing a line that would freak someone out. When it’s Jeff, or Jeff’s moms, it’s fine. Sometimes he tries to find a casual way to say he cares when Mills needs to hear it, but with most of the guys he just tries to be like he’s supposed to be.

Instead of answering, Alexei cups Kent’s cheek in his hand and pulls him back enough for a long lingering kiss.

“You join me if you like, but I take big shower. Had hard day,” Alexei says with a laugh.

“I have literally given you the better shower every time,” Kent says. “I miss it, so I guess I’ll just have to come with you.”

Alexei keeps him close all the way to the shower, first by linking their fingers as they walk upstairs and then by pulling Kent in front of him and leaning around him as he adjusts the spray. He pulls Kent’s shirt over his head and kisses his neck before undressing him completely and urging him into the shower first.

The shower in the master suite is the one part of his house that Kent will admit is purely extravagant. Most of the luxuries built into his house are for convenience, or they were already there when he bought the place. The giant shower with a bench and multiple shower heads is something he added. He knows it’s a luxury even though it feels more like a necessity on days he comes home after a game of really hard checks. That he’s only ever used it by himself is a serious waste.

Alexei crowds against him before he even has a chance to reach for his body wash. The shower wall is cold on his back but it’s impossible to care when he has Alexei naked, wet, and pushed against his front. He smells slightly of smoke from being near the grill. He kisses Kent again as he runs his big hands over Kent’s chest, but he pulls back with a smile as soon as Kent moans. When Kent tries to pull him back, Alexei pulls him forward to one of the shower heads instead.

“Come. Wash smoke out of hair before get too distracted.”

For once, Kent doesn’t have to hold back a complaint about the interruption. He likes when Jeff grills for him, but he doesn’t want the smell on his clean pillowcases. And when Alexei takes the shampoo bottle out of his hands and massages the shampoo into his hair, he closes his eyes and enjoys it.

By the time Alexei finishes running the washcloth over his body, Kent is boneless and only half hard.

“Are you trying to put me to sleep on purpose?” Kent asks as Alexei directs him to sit on the bench so he can quickly wash his own hair. “Because you’ve almost succeeded and if that’s your point, I won’t push. But for the record, everything will be happy to wake back up.”

Alexei laughs as he shuts off the spray.

“You stressed all night. I like make you relax. Lots of ways to do that.”

“I think I should be doing that for you tonight,” Kent says, opening his eyes as Alexei wraps him in a towel and pulls him up.

“Can go both ways, but I like to take care of people. Marty say I try to adopt every single rookie,” Alexei says. “Maybe if I have you, I stop pushing the ones who don’t like.”

“First, I’m not complaining. I’m just warning you that what Jeff should have actually been telling you tonight is that if you let me get used to this, I will be completely spoiled and fine with it. Second, who is telling you to back off? I’ll send Jack after them.”

“Jeff did say. You still not know how to use grill.”

“Exactly. You were warned.”

“Jeff not mind any more than I do.”

Kent lets Alexei dry them both off and lead them to the bed where Kent lies down and turns the tables by pulling Alexei on top of him. His skin is still warm and soft from the shower. Kent thinks that maybe if there hadn’t been so much build up, he could just fall asleep with Alexei draped over him like a heating blanket. But he hasn’t felt this much skin against his own in months. Instead of settling in to relax, he feels like his whole body sparks with fire.

“You asked what I wanted last time,” he says. “And after today, you should really get some say. What do you want?”

“I still want take care you,” Alexei says. “Make you feel like you can’t move.”

Alexei kisses him before he can ask what that means. When Alexei’s lips start a path down his body, he gets the point. Or he thinks he does, but Alexei is determined to take his time. He trails his lips over Kent’s hip, lets his cheek just barely graze Kent’s cock and keeps going. He moves back up Kent’s body and hovers over Kent as they kiss, resisting Kent’s attempts to push up into him or pull him down. It’s the best torture that has Kent trembling in anticipation.

“Are you going tease me until I go insane?” Kent asks. “Do you want me to beg? I can beg.”

“I’m think you like teasing. Like I make you crazy with waiting,” Alexei says, looking up and smirking before going back to sucking on Kent’s nipple.

“Yes,” Kent admits with a sigh.

“But you can beg if you want. Can try if want.”

“Oh my god,” Kent says instead and groans. At some point he starts begging anyway in between moans just because he can’t hold it in anymore, but the only real warning he gets is that Alexei plants his hands on Kent’s hips to hold him down just before he takes Kent into his mouth. Kent can’t be blamed for how fast it is after that. He manages a quick warning that Alexei ignores before he’s coming hard.

Alexei’s weight shifts and he’s kneeling over Kent, stroking himself, when Kent opens his eyes. He spills on Kent’s stomach before Kent’s regained enough consciousness to move.

“I was going to help with that if you’d let me,” Kent says after Alexei falls on the bed next to him.

“Is okay. I tell you I make you come so hard you can’t move, yes?” Alexei trails his fingers through the come on Kent’s stomach. When Kent shifts to look at him, Alexei is looking down at the path his fingers are traveling up Kent’s chest.

He hesitates when his fingers reach Kent’s mouth and meets Kent’s eyes. He shakes his head slightly as if he’s just realizing what he was doing.

“Sorry. You don’t have to,” he says and starts to pull away.

“It’s okay,” Kent says and tips forward enough to suck Alexei’s fingers into his mouth and taste him. Alexei cups his cheek when he pulls his fingers from Kent’s mouth. It should be gross, but Kent’s still too blissed-out to care.

Alexei opens his mouth and then closes it. His eyes close too tight, like he’s trying to block Kent out.

“What’s wrong?” Kent says. His body starts to come onboard again as he sees Alexei blocking him out. It’s like he doesn’t want to look at what he just did.

Alexei opens his eyes, and his face softens immediately.

“Nothing wrong, Kотенок. Sorry. Is just me sometimes,” Alexei says. “I want to say and then I think is probably too much to say yet. Or not too much, but you might not like.”

“Um, can you just say it now?” Kent says. “Because now I’m going to think a million things.”

He expects a laugh, but Alexei looks away embarrassed. It’s almost too quiet for Kent to hear when he answers.

“I just see you like this, and I want to say, ‘mine.’ But I know is very soon. And some people don’t like that either way. Say is too…possessive.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kent says. “I like it. I like a little possessive within reason.”

“Is not bad?” Alexei asks. Kent knows that tone out of his own mouth. Someone else told him it was bad. Kent can understand why considering how he’s seen some guys in the league act with their girls. Of course, it’s usually the same guys who he knows try to cheat on the road. He can admit that dealing with those guys on the Aces is one of those things he passes off to Reaper.

“Are you going to start telling me what to do or where to go or who to talk to?”

“What? No, not like that,” Alexei looks confused by the very idea. Kent feels a bit guilty for being glad for the chance to be the one telling Alexei that something is okay. It’s just nice to know he’s not the only one kind of fucked up.

“Then I’m okay with being yours if that’s what you want,” Kent says. “More than okay, actually.”

“If I tell Marty that mean I say you my boyfriend?” Alexei asks like he actually thinks Kent is going to say no.

“Yes,” Kent says and starts to roll over to cuddle closer before he realizes his stomach is still sticky with come, and it’s stopped being sexy.

“If you’re my boyfriend now though _and_ you made it so I don’t want to move, it’s definitely your job to clean this up.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See note at the end for an additional content warning for this chapter. Also, I guess there's spoilers for the movie Frozen.

Kent has two texts from Jack the next morning.

 **Zimms:** If you guys go out today, wear the same clothes you wore Monday. It’s not a big deal, but someone got a picture.

The next text is a picture of him with Alexei outside the casino. Someone on Instagram has captioned it with: “Wow. They really are friends. I guess Mashkov is over that fight.”

 **Kent:** Why wear the same clothes?

Kent considers pointing out that he’s learned to not dress like he’s gay, but Jack knows that.

 **Zimms:** If you both wear the same clothes and someone takes another picture, it’ll look like it’s the same day once they’re both on the internet. Bittle says some actors do it. It’s worked for us.  
**Kent:** Thanks  
**Zimms:** Most people don’t care about him and think I’m dating Lardo anyway.  
**Kent:** That’s bc you sent 150 roses to her on VDay  
**Zimms:** I wasn’t even trying to use her like that. I just didn’t want to make him get out of bed to sign for them.  
**Kent:** How do I send my boyfriend shit? Sending it to you is even worse for rumors. Will people notice if I send it through Bitty? Shit is too complicated.  
**Zimms:** I don’t know. I’ll try to think of ideas. Bits via Lardo? You’d have to tell Lardo though.  
**Zimms:** So, boyfriend, eh?  
**Kent:** Yeah, yeah.

Two minutes later he gets a text from Bitty.

 **Bitty:** Boyfriend?! How happy are you right now?  
**Kent:** Will you show it to Jack if I answer that?  
**Bitty:** Bc it’s bad or bc he’d chirp you forever?  
**Kent:** The 2nd one  
**Bitty:** Then I can translate to something toned down if he asks.  
**Kent:** So fucking happy! He asked last night! Jack never actually said it until it was ex-boyfriend. So this is the first time I have an actual official boyfriend!!  <3 :D  
**Bitty:** Aww. Yay!  <3 :D :D  
**Kent:** He’s going to tell Marty and Thirdy when he gets back. Marty will be ok, right? He already knows Alexei is gay. Just not about me.  
**Bitty:** Marty is great. Literally everyone knows Tater is dating someone. I think Thirdy thinks it’s you anyway.  
**Kent:** What?! Why? He hasn’t said anything to Alexei about me?  
**Bitty:** Well, everyone knows Tater hooked up after the Vegas game. He put up the do not disturb sign and some of the guys saw it. I’m not sure if that’s the only thing that clued him in, but Thirdy’s asked Jack about you a few times since then.  
**Kent:** Jack didn’t tell me?  
**Bitty:** Jack thinks it’s bc you guys are friends and Thirdy and Marty worry about him after how the first Aces game went. I don’t think that’s why he asked.  
**Kent:** So Marty doesn’t like me? I kind of know Thirdy already, and he doesn’t know I’m gay, but he’s fine with you guys, so I’m not that worried about him.  
**Bitty:** Marty doesn’t know you. Jack says good things. Bob says good things. I say good things. He’ll give you a chance. He’s a great guy. Don’t worry.  
**Kent:** Thanks  
**Bitty:** Don’t worry! Also, Tater doesn’t care. He likes you a lot. Every time we talk, he’s talking about you more than he’s trying to get me to cook for him. He likes you more than my pie. I’m almost offended.

***

Kent doesn’t want to stay home just because of the picture. It’s harmless. Janet from Aces PR texts him about it and says it’s good for his image. His personal publicist texts him to ask if they need to have a meeting. After checking with Alexei, he schedules a meeting with Claire for the next week. Alexei gets nothing, but since George probably knows they’re dating, nothing from the Falconers end is fine.

But Kent wants to not worry about pretending his boyfriend is just his friend for the day. They both separate because Alexei has to work out, and Kent needs to see a physical therapist about his knee. They tell him that he needs to take at least a week off to rest it before he starts his off-season training. Kent sees Jeff, because Jeff doesn’t trust him to listen to the doctor on his own. Kent updates him even though he doesn’t deserve it. He’s hoping Alexei officially claiming Kent as his boyfriend will calm Jeff down.

Kent picks up food on the way home and beats Alexei back. He considers putting everything on plates but changes his mind. Alexei is a worse cook than him, and it’s better not to start habits he doesn’t want to keep up.

“You pick the movie,” Kent tells Alexei when they’re in front of the TV. He’s pretty sure Alexei won’t tell him that his favorite movies are stupid even if he picks _Crossroads_ , but that doesn’t mean he won’t think it. At least Jack apologized a few weeks ago and admitted that Shitty made him watch _The Mighty Ducks_ repeatedly until he learned to like it.

“Anything?” Alexei asks.

“Sure, but if you pick something that gives me nightmares, you have to stay in Vegas until they stop,” Kent says without thinking and then immediately feels himself turning red. It’s because he was talking to Bitty earlier that he’s not thinking. Bitty admitted to hating scary movies a few weeks ago and made it seem perfectly normal.

“Is tempting,” Alexei says, “but would rather you sleep happy with me.”

He leans over and kisses Kent before picking up his phone.

“Kids movie okay? My sister tell me I need to watch one. Says the leads are like us.”

“Me and you or you and her?”

“Me and her,” Alexei says as he scrolls through a text thread on his phone. “I tell her about you though. She like you. Ah, yes. Is Frozen?”

Kent laughs. He’s somehow missed it, but he knows one of the songs because Reaper’s kids drove him so crazy with it that Mills and Hammer sing it to annoy him. Kent lets them get away with it when Reaper argues with him on the ice. It’s nice to have revenge he can pretend doesn’t come from him.

“Sure. I haven’t seen it either,” Kent says as he finds it online and buys it.

“Is okay to turn on subtitles?” Alexei asks and it’s one of the few times Kent’s seen him look nervous. “Helps when English is hard to understand.”

“Yeah, of course.” Kent clicks the button to add subtitles. He looks to see if they have other languages without thinking.

“English is good. Helps to learn.”

“Cool,” Kent settles back on the couch as the movie starts and picks up his food. It’s impossible to cuddle and eat at the same time so he wants to get the food part over with.

“Does not bother you my English is not very good?”

“Xei, you can speak Russian, some French, and pretty good English. I’m so bad at languages that I can’t remember the Russian words you say so I can look them up later. You’re doing better than I’d be doing if I had to learn.”

“Kотенок is kitten. Because you like cuddle like Kit,” Alexei says.

“Do me a favor and never tell Zimms that. I like it, but I want to keep it for myself.”

“Zimmboni chirp enough already. But B never use his name unless he in trouble.”

Kent laughs because it’s true.

“Are you supposed to be Anna or Elsa?” Kent asks halfway through the movie.

“Elena says I’m obviously Elsa.”

“Because you left her for the ice?” Kent asks.

“Yes. And I not tell her why I want to come to America for long time. Because I worry she not love me if she know.” Alexei pulls Kent closer against his side.

“But she followed you?”

“Well, she kept asking until I tell her. Then she love me anyway. Say I’m stupid for hiding from her so long.”

The movie is almost over when Kent notices tears in Alexei’s eyes. He’s not sure if he should say anything so he just snuggles closer into Alexei’s arms and hopes he gets the point.

“I like movie,” Alexei says as the end credits start. “Assume Elsa meet her person after. Maybe another girl. Blonde, kind of short.”

“I’m not short. You’re just gigantic.”

“Kit can be Olaf.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional content warning for this chapter for internalized homophobia:  
> Kent makes a comment are trying to not dress like he's gay. He thinks that Jack agrees with this assessment. Comment if you have extra questions about where I'm going with the topic. Thanks!
> 
> Back to your regularly scheduled notes:
> 
> True story, I had not watched Frozen until I needed a movie for this Chapter and my beta suggested it. It was really cute, but I don't have kids so I have no reason to hate it. In debating kids movies, I considered Happy Feet for half a second before realizing Kent and Jack can't watch that movie. Kent has definitely texted Bitty and warned him about this. Also, Tater, Rusher, and Popcorn's speech is all based on a former best friend of mine who was Russian which is why it differs a bit from how Ngozi writes it. He actually spoke Russian and Turkish fluently, English as well as these boys, and a bit of French. Yet he always apologized when we had trouble understanding each other. Anyway, he moved back to his country but Rusher is named after him and Popcorn has bits of his personality. :)
> 
> Please comment if you're still liking this. I've been working multiple jobs and I have two back-to-back performance gigs this weekend. (My writing of Kent's playoff exhaustion is based off my work/performance schedule from April-May and August-November.) I need to the motivation of people waiting on it to make myself edit instead of just write extra stuff that I can't even show you guys because it spoils this fic. lol. I promise I will get to replying to comments soon. I'm taking my tablet with me (my first gig is out of town and after two days of that, I have to get up the next morning to do it again at home. How do these boys do this? I'm exhausted. and it's easy to reply to comments on that, but really annoying to post and edit. Of course, it's also easy to write so if you have any extra scenes you're curious about, I'll have time to write while traveling. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Kent texts Jack two days later while Alexei is at the gym. He knows Jack gets up early to see his trainer with Marty and Thirdy, but Bitty trains separately on his own later in the day. Kent’s glad they decided both training together and living together was a bad idea because he wasn’t sure he’s at a place with them that he could’ve brought it up.

 **Kent:** Hey. Busy?  
**Zimms:** Not really.  
**Kent:** Can I talk to you about something awkward w/o you chirping me about it?  
**Zimms:** What’s wrong?  
**Kent:** Why do you assume something is wrong?  
**Zimms:** Bc you know I won’t chirp you if it will upset you. You’re already upset if you’re asking in advance. Where’s Tater? What happened?  
**Kent:** OMG Zimms. He’s at the gym. Bc he has an over-bearing captain who bugs him about his off-season training. I’m fine. Don’t freak out.  
**Zimms:** I’m not. But what’s wrong?  
**Kent:** Should I go into the text w/ Bitty bc you’re already being weird?  
**Zimms:** If you want, but he’s still training. He sleeps later so I’m home first.  
**Kent:** Can you just be normal then? I don’t really care if you tell him but this is awkward enough so I’d rather pretend no one else knows about it.  
**Zimms:** Ok. So, again, what’s wrong?  
**Kent:** So you know I’ve only had sex with you, a couple random hook ups, and Alexei.  
**Zimms:** Yes  
**Kent:** Um…so when we had sex, like fucking sex, it was good, right?  
**Kent:** I mean, I’m not hitting on you or trying to get with you again I swear, but it was good back then for you too, right?

Zimms takes so long to answer that Kent starts typing out a text to tell him to forget about it when Jack’s answer comes through.

 **Zimms:** Can I ask why you’re asking me this?  
**Kent:** I think Alexei doesn’t want to fuck me again. We’ve done other stuff since he’s been here. First, I thought he was just wanting to go slow, but now I think he’s avoiding it.  
**Kent:** Ugh. Zimms, I know this is weird, but there’s no one else I can ask.  
I thought he liked it the first time, but what if it was bad?  
**Kent:** What if I’m bad at it? Or I did something weird. You would tell me if I was doing weird stuff, right?  
**Zimms:** Kenny, calm down first.  
**Zimms:** I don’t know how much help I am. It’s only been you, Camilla and Bitty for me. And Camilla was obviously different.  
**Zimms:** But yeah, it was good for me back then. And considering Tater called you after the first time, it was probably not bad.  
**Kent:** Thanks.  
**Kent:** I don’t know. I keep thinking I must have done something wrong.  
**Zimms:** I think you’re asking the wrong person.  
**Kent:** I don’t have anyone else to ask.  
**Zimms:** Tater, Kenny. That’s the right person to ask. You ask the guy you actually want to have sex with.  
**Kent:** Bc that’s not weird.  
**Zimms:** How is that more weird than this?  
**Kent:** You already know how few people I’ve had sex with. Technically I have more people than you. You can’t judge me.  
**Zimms:** I don’t think he’s going to judge you. He better not.  
**Kent:** What if he says it was bad? And that’s why he doesn’t want to do it again.  
**Zimms:** Then he doesn’t deserve it if he doesn’t want to work with you at it.  
But I don’t think he’ll say that.  
**Kent:** Did he at least ever say anything about it to you?  
**Zimms:** No. But I think that’s bc he knows talking about fucking my ex would be weird. And I’m not asking Snow if he said anything for you.  
**Kent:** You’re no help  
**Zimms:** Bc I can’t help. You need to talk to him. Do you want me to ask him or something?  
**Kent:** OMG Zimms. NO.  
**Zimms:** Then talk to him yourself.  
**Kent:** [Sad cat emoji]  
**Zimms:** It’ll be fine. If it’s not ok, text or call me.  
**Kent:** So you can yell at him for me?  
**Zimms:** Yes. Bc if you’re not telling me to mind my own business, then you’re really upset.  
**Kent:** Don’t call Jeff. This is not a conversation I want to have with him.  
**Kent:** And you know Alexei didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just freaking out.  
**Zimms:** Then talk to Tater and let me know it was ok.  
**Kent:** I’ll try  
**Zimms:** Seriously. You know we got all fucked up bc we didn’t always talk when stuff was wrong. Talk to him. Maybe he is just trying to slow things down and thinks you know that.  
**Kent:** Thanks Zimms. Really.

***

Kent knows he’s acting weird from the time Alexei gets back and all through dinner. It’s only the practice he’s had making himself eat before a nerve-wracking game that enables him to not ignore his dinner. He shouldn’t be surprised that as soon as the take-out containers are put away, Alexei reaches for him and pulls him to the couch.

“Kотенок? Something wrong? You’re very quiet.”

“You’re supposed to go home the day after tomorrow,” Kent says.

“Yes, but you come visit me after I back from Russia. Is not going to be that long,” Alexei says.

“I know.”

“I will miss you, too. But not gone yet.”

Kent nods, takes a deep breath and reminds himself that if he doesn’t say something, Jack might. Alexei slides closer and takes his hand.

“I do something wrong?” Alexei asks.

“No. Not really.” Kent looks down at their hands and takes a deep breath.

“Last night, I said I wanted you inside me, and you avoided it. I mean, you know.” Kent tilts his head instead of explaining because Alexei was there. He fingered Kent a bit when he blew him, but he avoided going further.

“Not that you have to if you don’t want to,” Kent adds. “Obviously, you don’t have to. But you seemed into it the first time. If you didn’t like it, and you told me what was wrong, I could try…”

“No, baby, no,” Alexei interrupts. “I like. I like very much. You do nothing wrong.”

Kent’s relief must be obvious because Alexei moves forward to hold Kent’s head in his hands.

“Did not mean to make you think something wrong or I don’t like.”

“But you don’t want to do it again,” Kent says. He noticed Alexei didn’t deny avoiding it.

Alexei drops his hands back down, but threads their fingers together instead of pulling away.

“I want. I do want. But was very intense for you last time. You give me very much control. Is not just sex for you. Not sure I earned that yet.”

“I freaked you out,” Kent says.

“Not freaked. Not bad,” Alexei pauses and Kent tries to be patient while he tries to think of the right words. “Is new for me. I know Russian words, but I not want to say wrong.”

Alexei sighs and reaches for his phone. For a moment, Kent worries he’s going to call someone to translate this embarrassing conversation, but he seems to just be typing in words to translate.

“Forgive me if I say wrong?” Alexei asks and Kent nods. He sure as hell can’t imagine trying to have this conversation in any other language.

“When we have sex like that, you’re a little…submissive. You like me in charge, I think. Is new for me. Other guys I with before, we do same thing physically, but does not feel like that. I worry you trust me, and I hurt you. Maybe physically hurt. Maybe emotionally hurt. Last time, I don’t think. I just have sex like you ask like no big deal, and then after you think I want you to leave. Want to be sure I do right next time.”

Kent is going to text Jack tomorrow and ask him if being submissive while bottoming is weird. Maybe it’s stupid that he just assumed it was normal. Now that he’s thinking about it, Bitty doesn’t exactly seem like the submissive type. Maybe he should ask Bitty. Or Holster. Fuck, why doesn’t he know queer guys who have a lot of sexual experience? Except he does. Alexei’s admitted to having casual sex before Kent.

“I didn’t know it wasn’t normal to be like that,” Kent admits.

“I’m not sure but I think normal is bad word here?” Alexei says. “It feels right to you? If it feels right, is okay. Just new for me.”

Kent shrugs. Yes, it feels right. That’s why he likes it. He can enjoy it and not feel like he has to be anything specific for once.

“But you didn’t like it, I guess.”

“I did not say I didn’t like,” Alexei says. “I like very much. Surprised how much I like. Just want to make sure I get right.”

“You did get it right,” Kent says. When Alexei looks uncertain he adds, “Okay, so I should have been less impulsive and not asked you fuck me when I didn’t think you’d want me to stay. Because, yes, I would’ve been upset if you wanted me to leave. But you didn’t. You told me to stay, and you held me all night, and you called me the next day. You got everything right. We didn’t do anything extreme. I don’t think we need safe words or anything to have sex. Maybe eventually if you want to tie me up or something.”

“You want me tie you up?” Alexei says.

“I don’t know. We should probably get used to regular sex first. And you know, only if you want to.”

“I want if you want. Just maybe not yet like you said.”

“And you want to keep waiting for other things too?” Kent asks. “It’s okay if you do, but…I trust you. I want it if you do.”

“You tell me if something wrong?”

“Of course.”

***

 **Kent:** We talked about it. And I got laid. So stop worrying. I’m fine.  
**Zimms:** Good.  
**Kent:** You’re not going to ask what the issue was?  
**Zimms:** Did you want me to?  
**Kent:** Ok, fine. Yes. Bc, I didn’t know that um, I’m more submissive than other guys that bottom. I don’t know how to ask you if you thought that w/o asking about sex with Bitty so feel free to not answer that.  
**Kent:** Obviously, I don’t want details.  
**Zimms:** I don’t mind, but I should ask him. Do you mind if he knows?  
**Kent:** I don’t care.

It’s a few minutes before Jack texts again.

 **Zimms:** Ok, honestly, yes. I didn’t realize it when we were together bc I’d only had sex with you. But yes, you were more submissive in sex than Bitty or Camilla. You had a clear preference and I didn’t question it bc we were kids and I just figured that was how everyone did it. Bitty and I switch back and forth depending on our moods. I just didn’t think about it until you brought it up. I don’t really compare or anything. And I didn’t mind it with you.  
**Kent:** Huh, ok  
**Zimms:** Was Tater bothered by it?  
**Kent:** It freaked him out I guess. I think he was a little surprised, and he was worried that he’d mess up and hurt me. But it’s ok. Let’s never talk about this again, ok?  
**Zimms:** Deal. Unless you need to.  
**Kent:** Yeah, yeah. Same.

***

Alexei is leaving for the airport in an hour, and Kent knows even Kit has picked up on his mood. Alexei brought him breakfast in bed to wake him up enough that he wanted sex. Then he’d proceeded to fuck Kent so well that they’d fallen back asleep for an hour. Now Kent is lying in bed draped over Alexei’s chest with Kit curled up against his back.

“I could go to the airport with you,” Kent says, cuddling closer as Alexei traces patterns over his back.

“Cannot say goodbye how I want at airport,” Alexei reminds him.

Kent nods. He knows this. He agreed with Alexei when they decided it would be better to say goodbye at Kent’s house.

“Is only about two weeks. Then you and Kit come to Providence.” Alexei kisses his forehead and squeezes him a bit tighter.

“I know,” Kent says.

“I miss you, too. Call you every day even when in Russia. Elena will make fun and try to talk to you. Good for me her English not good enough for embarrassing stories.”

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“She see picture. Tell me you too pretty for me already.”

“Not true,” Kent says as he runs his hand over Alexei’s bare chest.

Alexei laughs.

“My face not pretty like your face.”

“I like your face.” Kent tilts his head up for a kiss. When he pulls back Alexei smiles at him. “I like your smile. And your eyes. And everything else.”

“Okay, only what you think that matter.”

***

Kent climbs back into bed after Alexei leaves and texts Bitty five sad cat emojis.

 **Bitty:** I already sent you a pie that’s coming today.  
**Kent:** Thanks. Don’t call Jeff, ok. I want to process alone for a while and he’ll probably show up anyway.  
**Bitty:** But he knew when Tater was leaving?  
**Kent:** Yeah. And I’m not alone. See:  
**Kent:** [Picture of Kit lying on top of Kent’s chest]  
**Bitty:** Since you have Kit and you’re at least texting me, I won’t tell Jeff to come over.  
**Bitty:** Yet.  
**Kent:** Seriously. He’ll probably just be downstairs next time I go to get something to eat.  
**Bitty:** Good thing I sent two pies.  
**Kent:** Good for him. I wasn’t going to share mine.  
**Kent:** Question?  
**Bitty:** Ok  
**Kent:** Do you have other queer friends besides me? And Holster I guess.  
**Bitty:** Tater obviously. And Lardo is pan. But that’s it. I tried the LGBTQ group on campus but I was too busy with hockey. And there were a couple guys who said shit about Jack so I gave up.  
**Kent:** Is it weird that I just have you and Jack?  
**Kent:** You don’t have to answer that. I know it’s weird.  
**Kent:** I had to ask my ex sex questions. And when I need someone to talk to, I have to ask his boyfriend.  
**Bitty:** Hey!  
1\. Jack is your friend. It was a bit weird but he cares about you and is glad you talked to him instead of just getting upset alone. And he wasn’t that weirded out. He’s weirdly comfortable talking about sex. I never expected that but yeah. You were probably more awkward about it than he was.  
2\. I’m your friend. Not just Jack’s boyfriend.  
3\. You are the only friend I have who is gay and will talk pop stars and celebrities with me. And who has any sense of fashion so don’t pretend this is one sided. I can’t believe you are my non-bro friend, but you are. Even Lardo is a bro.  
**Kent:** Thanks. I didn’t mean we weren’t friends. I swear.  
**Bitty:** Good.  
**Bitty:** But I know with sex advice, Jack and I are kind of limited.  
**Bitty:** I mean, I agree with his advice to talk to Tater.  
**Bitty:** But I know Jack’s not really a talker on his own. He doesn’t need to talk things out with five different friends like I do.  
**Bitty:** When we weren’t out at all, it didn’t bother him like it bothered me. We told our friends because it was hard for me.  
**Bitty:** I didn’t use them for sex advice, but I get the point in general of wanting to talk to people and especially queer people. It’s probably why it was easy to text you a lot once we started.  
**Kent:** I can’t believe Jack is the one of us who grew up to have a life outside of hockey.  
**Bitty:** I’d argue but I think he’d agree. Honestly though, if you really need someone to ask sex questions to, I can give you Holster’s number.  
**Bitty:** He kept it quiet bc of Ransom but that boy spent way too much time on Grindr.

***

 **Alexei:** Home. Miss you already. (((

Kent can’t help smiling at Alexei’s text even if it will make Jeff chirp him. He texted Bitty to try to keep himself from sending needy texts to Alexei, but it helps that Alexei doesn’t seem to care about it from his side.

 **Kent:** Miss you too. Kit does too. She keeps trying to get extra treats from me bc you bought her love.  
**Alexei:** Is worth it. Need Kit on my side.

Kent is still typing a reply when another text comes through before he can answer.

 **Alexei:** Jeff is with you, yes?

Kent glances over at Jeff. He’s still focused on the TV when he should have already been chirping Kent about his texting.

 **Kent:** Yeah. He was downstairs on my couch when I came down to eat dinner  
**Alexei:** He text me. Say you turn down cuddle because you think it might bother me. Is ok. I trust Jeff. Let him help if you are sad.  
**Kent:** Give me a second to talk to him.

“Seriously, dude? I told you it wasn’t a big deal and I’d ask him if it was,” Kent says.

“By the time you were so sad and touch-starved that it was a big deal, you’d also convince yourself he’d be mad and freak yourself out about talking to him about it.”

“Are you sure you’re not the one who’s touch-starved now?” Kent says. “You could tell me. I’d understand.”

“I _would_ tell you. If that was it, I’d tell you and you’d call him and make sure he was okay with it. You’re fine when I’m the one with a problem.”

“You could have given me more than five minutes to ask him.”

“Fair. I’ll give you ten the next time,” Jeff says. He puts his arm over the back of the couch and motions for Kent to come closer.

“Seriously,” Kent says even if he tucks himself under Jeff’s arm anyway. “I know you’re worried, but you have to back off a little. You have to give me some chance to do this myself.”

“I know, I’m trying.”

When Kent gives him a look, he sighs.

“Seriously. I’m trying. I promise. I will be less overbearing,” Jeff says squeezing the arm he has around Kent’s shoulders. “It’s harder than I thought okay? It’s been just me that you trusted for five years, and suddenly there’s Jack and Bitty and you have a boyfriend. I’m happy about it, really, but I was also an only child before. I’m really bad at sharing. My moms were so proud I let them adopt you until they realized I’m just as bad at sharing you as I am at sharing anything else.”

“I’ve literally not let you adopt another rookie in five years. I only share Mills with you because he’s my rookie. There’s no way you’re getting replaced.” Kent puts his feet up on the couch and snuggles closer. He lifts his phone to text Alexei before he worries that Kent’s upset.

“Any chance you’ll tell Mills to stop calling me grandpa? I’m really more like your big brother.”

“Not a chance. I told him to do it.”

 **Kent:** I’m okay, but thanks.  
**Alexei:** I know you like touch. Like when it can be me but Jeff ok. I know he keep pants on.

Kent holds up his phone to take a selfie showing Jeff’s arm around him.

 **Kent:** I’m being cuddled? Happy?  
**Alexei:** Wish was me. But happy you taken care of. ))  
**Kent:** What about you?  
**Alexei:** Itty Bitty bring me pie. Packing for Russia soon. Mama will cook for me whole week!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to actually wake up early to edit this while I was still home so it was easier to post from my tablet. :) Let me know if there’s any mistakes left from my last minute rush combined with tablet use. Lol.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments! They have helped during a rough time. <3
> 
> Jeff has probably had 5000 conversations with his moms about how he has to let Kent have other friends in the last few months. His life is hard.


	5. Chapter 5

Off-season training is brutal and helps remind Kent that he would probably be too tired to have much sex now that he’s in full training mode to pack on weight. Over half the guys have left Vegas for the break and some of them will be traded in the off-season and playing against him instead of coming back. He’s training with Jeff and Mills, but Reaper is still working with a different trainer even though he’s in Vegas. It’s probably just as well. Mills agreed to follow Kent’s advice and live with Reaper for another season. With a late July birthday, he’s almost as young as Kent was when he started with Aces. He only made the team because they ended up with two guys injured in preseason games and that gave him the chance to prove himself better than the older guys. Reaper would never push him out, but Mills has enough energy that with Reaper having two of his own kids on top of it, he probably needs the break from them training separately.

Mills is focused in training, but quiet. Kent can’t help worrying that something is wrong. Mills has always been focused and worked hard, but his energy and excitement made the team chirp him for being such a kid until Kent told them to shut up and let the kid be a kid if he was scoring more goals at eighteen than they were now.

“Has he said anything to you?” Kent asks Jeff after they drop Mills off at Reaper’s house.

“Not exactly,” Jeff says.

“Not exactly? So, sort of and you didn’t tell me?”

Kent remembers what it was like coming to the NHL right after almost losing Jack completely and barely being eighteen. Kent’s sure he would’ve survived if the Aces and Bob hadn’t insisted on moving him in with Jeff. It would’ve sucked, but it wouldn’t have been the first time he just took care of himself. Mills is a happier kid than he should be for having shit parents who sent him off to boarding school as soon as they had the option. He would’ve survived in his own way without Kent, Jeff and Reaper’s family, but he soaks up the attention even more than Kent did. Kent’s just grateful that his parents are just not around instead of openly hostile, but he privately thinks it might be different if Mills didn’t have skills that should have gotten him higher in the draft than he was.

“It was the day before Mashkov left, and we all took some time off last week. I’m not even sure it’s anything. He could just be adjusting to the off-season.”

“Seriously. What would you do if something was wrong with me and no one told you?”

“That would literally never happen, but you’re right. I’m sorry,” Jeff says. “But I honestly just don’t know what you can do about it. He just mentioned that you’d been busy. You haven’t told him. I didn’t know what to tell him. I wanted to wait until after Mashkov was gone. I don’t think it’s anything serious. Reaper would call you before me if he was depressed at home. He probably just misses you. Hang out with him, and he’ll be fine.”

“I should’ve paid more attention.”

“Parse, you’re allowed to have a life,” Jeff says. “And before you say it, I’m single because I haven’t met the right person. It has nothing to do with you. I’ve failed with multiple girls since I’ve met you and none of that had anything to do with you.”

“But I knew where you were when you couldn’t hang out.”

Jeff parks in front of Kent’s house and turns off the car. Kent knows he was going to go home, but now he’s not. Maybe he should’ve just taken Mills home after practice. That’s what Jeff would’ve done. But then, he’d lived with Jeff when he was that age. Jeff waits until they’re inside to continue the conversation.

“You could tell him you’re dating someone long distance, and not say who. He has a long-distance girlfriend. He’d get that,” Jeff says. “Or you could tell him you’re gay and don’t want to say who your boyfriend is yet. Or you can ask Mashkov if you can tell him the truth.”

“You think I should tell him?”

“You don’t have to. You could just hang out with him more, and he’ll probably decide you were upset about not getting the cup and get over it.”

The idea of telling Mills the truth isn’t as scary as Kent expected, and the idea of lying feels worse than he expected. He loves his team. He knows they love him, but he’s always held back. That’s always been enough that he never felt like he owed anyone the truth. But Mills has been his rookie since the pre-season, and even if he’s not a rookie anymore, that doesn’t change things. Kent can’t imagine how he would have felt at eighteen if Jeff lied to his face and he eventually found out about it.

“What if he hates me?”

“He’s a good kid. We’ve never heard him say anything homophobic.”

“Everyone knows about your moms. No one says anything homophobic. It might be different when it’s me.”

“Or he might be really happy you trusted him. He thinks you’re a superhero. Seriously. That kid tried to check Zimmermann for you the first time we played the Falconers.”

Kent laughs. Mills had pretty much bounced off him. Jack had looked confused and helped him up like he thought Mills just couldn’t stop in time. Even if he’d figured it out, Jack wouldn’t fight a rookie. Sure, Jack was a rookie, too, but no one really looked at him like they did the young guys.

“I’ve never really just come out to someone,” Kent says.

“What?”

“I haven’t. I’ve never just told someone to tell them. Jack and I kind of just figured it out together and then started making out. Bob caught us making out, and then he and Jack told Alicia. I told you because I was having a break down. I told your moms for basically the same reason. Jack told Bitty and Shitty. Bitty told Holster. I didn’t really tell Alexei. I just hit on him and well, you know.”

“Oh. I guess not,” Jeff says. “I don’t even know what to tell you. Want me to be there? Want me to call my moms and ask them for advice?”

“No. I don’t know. I mean, don’t call them. I could text Jack and Bitty. I mean, Jack has done this a few times now. And I don’t know if you should be there. Should I do it by myself? I need to ask Alexei if it’s okay in case he figures out who I’m dating.”

“Okay. Well, how about I get us some food while you talk to whoever you want. And if you want, I’ll be there. And if you change your mind, we’ll just hang out.”

“You’re better at this than I am,” Kent says. “This is why I didn’t adopt a rookie before.”

“I adopted you six years ago. I have more practice. I fucked up a lot and you know it. Hell, I fucked up last night not giving you enough time to talk to Mashkov and not telling you Mills was upset right away.”

“You’re still a good dad.”

“Just because you say Mills is your son, does not make me your dad. I’m not that old.”

“I can’t believe you’d reject your grandson like that,” Kent calls after him as Jeff walks away toward the kitchen.

Kent texts Alexei first. He’s leaving in the morning for Russia so it’s already late, but Kent knows he wanted to Skype before he left just in case the connection in Russian wasn’t as good. Kent turns on his laptop, and Alexei calls as soon as he signs in.

“Kотенок, why you look worried? Will text and call every day in Russia.”

Kent smiles at that. Alexei always amazes him.

“It’s not that. Thanks though. Oh, and just so you know, Jeff’s around. He wasn’t going to be here, but something kind of came up.” The last thing Kent needs is for Jeff to overhear something dirty and mock him forever.

“You okay?” Alexei asks.

“Yeah. Just, um, my rookie, Mills, was kind of upset today.”

“Yes. I remember little guy who try to check Zimmboni.”

“Yeah. I think he noticed I was busy a lot last week. And I don’t have to tell him about you, but I think I want to tell him about me. But I mean, he knows you didn’t go home right away. He might figure it out.”

“You think is okay? Jeff think is okay too?”

“Yeah. He’s a good kid. He knows about Jeff’s moms. Even if it’s bad, I don’t think he’d out us. He’d have to play with me next year. I can try to not tell him about you, too. Honestly. I’m fine telling him about me and saying my boyfriend isn’t out. But there’s always a chance he’ll guess.”

“But you trust him?”

“I want to,” Kent admits. He really wants to. He didn’t realize it until he had someone to be happy about, and had to hide it from everyone he saw every day. Now most of the guys are gone for the summer, but he doesn’t want to see Mills almost every day and lie.

“Then you tell him about you. And if he find out about me, then is okay. Maybe if he is okay waiting, you tell him it’s me next week. Make sure I’m back from Russia.”

Kent feels like an ass for not thinking of that. On the off-chance Mills outs them, Alexei needs to at least be back in Providence.

“I can wait. I should’ve thought of that.”

“No. Is okay. You will just worry all week. You tell him about you and not me if you trust him. If he guesses, you just call me if not ok. Has no proof. Will have time to get home.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure. Is hard, I know. Elena know first for me, and that help. But still no one I see know. So tell Snowy, then Marty and Thirdy and George. Feel much better. And now Zimmboni, too.”

“Thanks.”

“Jeff going to be there when you tell him?”

“I think so. Just in case he freaks out.”

“Is good idea either way. I tell Marty and Thirdy about you today. Zimmboni come with me in case I need someone else to say you good for me.”

“If Thirdy says one bad thing—” Jeff calls from the kitchen.

“You can’t even pretend you’re not eavesdropping!” Kent yells back even though Alexei is laughing onscreen.

“Your kitchen is not that far. It’s kind of impossible. You knew I was in here.” Jeff pokes his head around the corner to look at him. “Sorry. I can go upstairs if you want. I wasn’t really trying to listen.”

“It’s fine. I warned him for a reason,” Kent says before turning back to the screen.

“Is okay. Thirdy say he thought so for long time. Was just waiting for me to tell him. Marty say he thought maybe after he see I go to Vegas. Was okay. They know I still try to beat you on ice.”

“They knew?”

Alexei grins.

“The team know someone in my room after Vegas game. Poots saw I had do not disturb sign up and know Zimmboni with Bitty. The rest of the team assume girl of course. Thirdy think maybe found random guy at first. But then Jeff ask Thirdy questions about me. Thirdy suspect about you and Jack from before but not want to ask. After I go to Vegas, he pretty sure.”

“So, it’s Jeff’s fault,” Kent says louder than necessary.

“Only one of those five things was my fault,” Jeff says as he comes back in the room. “But still, I should’ve thought about that. Sorry.”

“Is okay. Was maybe easier. You say nice things about Kent to him and he think better things than what he know from just games with us. Both say if I’m happy and is not problem with Jack, then they are okay.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Marty ask if you come to dinner when you visit. Is okay if you don’t want to, but Zimmboni say he and Bitty will come, too if you want.”

“Do you want me to?” Kent knows if he asked Jeff to fly out and invite himself, he would, but he’d rather meet Alexei’s friends without his hockey dad over his shoulder like he’s not an adult. And Zimms said he’d be there.

“Would be nice, but only if you want. Is not big deal.”

“It’s okay. I mean, he’s probably not going to threaten to kill me, right? So, it’s less than this asshole put you through.”

“He’s really not,” Jeff says.

“Is not how Marty is. He like Bitty right away. Wants to like you too. And Thirdy already like you.”

“Did he say I’m a ‘good kid?’”

“Yes?” Alexei looks confused until Kent turns to glare at Swoops.

“That is literally the only thing anyone over the age of 27 in the league says about me.”

“That is at least five other people’s fault also,” Jeff says.

Kent turns back to Alexei who just looks amused by the whole exchange.

“Tell him yes. And thanks for inviting me.”

“Good.”

Kent knows it’s getting late in Providence and Alexei has a long trip, so he turns to Jeff.

“It’s getting late. Disappear upstairs for a few minutes.”

“Sure. Text me when I can come back down.”

Kent waits until he’s sure Jeff’s heading up the stairs.

“I know it’s late. You should sleep.”

“I text you when I get on the plane and try to call when I home. Elena cover for me.”

“I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“I want to hear your voice. And know how rookie is when you tell him. Will be okay. And is only a week. You come see me when I’m back.”

Kent nods. It’s stupid to make a big deal. They both have lives where they live. They’re going to spend a lot of time apart. But Russia is so much further away than Providence. When Alexei is in Providence, Kent can always text Jack if he’s worried.

“I miss you, but will be okay.”

“Just…be careful. I know it’s your family, but…”

“I’m always careful. No one knows. Elena is very careful when we talk.”

“Okay.” Kent nods and reminds himself he’s being ridiculous. Alexei has gone back to Russia for years and been fine. It’s only a week.

He lets Alexei coax him into being cornier saying goodbye than he normally is and lets Alexei’s pet names in different languages make him smile before he says goodbye and hangs up. He takes a couple minutes to make sure he’s not going to cry before texting Jeff to come back downstairs.

“Good. I was about to have to text you that you were going to get interrupted by the food delivery,” Jeff says when he comes back down. “I just got a text that it’s on the way. I ordered tacos.”

Jeff sits next to him on the couch and pulls him close.

“He’ll be fine.”

“It’s dangerous for people like us there.”

“No one knows he’s gay. He’ll be fine. Plus, he’s sort of worth a lot of money. Pretty sure there’s a lot of people who will get him out if they need to.”

“You’re the worst.”

“I’m just saying. The NHL and the Falcs are not going to just let that contract go. Hell, it would have to be really public to want him off the Russia teams for the Olympics and World team. Even bigots care about money.”

***

 **Kent:** I’ve never actually just come out to anyone. I’m going to tell Mills tomorrow. How awful will this be??  
**Bitty:** Awful because it’s awkward you mean? Because I’m assuming you think he’ll be ok with it if you’re going to tell him.  
**Kent:** Awkward. I mean. How do I say it? Just like say I’m gay out of nowhere?  
**Zimms:** How did you tell Jeff?  
**Kent:** Yeah, kind of by accident while freaking out about something. Let’s not get into that.  
**Bitty:** I don’t know. I made notecards for the first person I came out to and then he just kind of helped me tell everyone else. It was still awkward but it was fine.  
**Zimms:** I’m really bad at it. Don’t take my advice.  
**Bitty:** It turned out ok.  
**Kent:** At least tell me what you mean. Maybe your failure will make me feel better.  
**Zimms:** I accidentally made George think I was dating another Falc and she kind of freaked out and then I had to explain I wasn’t. And it was awkward but then she was nice.  
**Zimms:** Marty thought I was making a homophobic joke and started to tell me off for it and then rambled on explaining himself. He told Thirdy for me to save me from having to do it. And the other guys just kind of found out gradually with their help.  
**Kent:** …In retrospect you realize why they both reacted like that, right?  
**Zimms:** ?  
**Bitty:** OMG George thought you were going to tell her you were dating Tater!  
**Zimms:** Oh. Haha  
**Kent:** So basically this is just going to be awful no matter what? : (  
**Bitty:** Awkward. Not awful. Once the awkward part was over, it was a lot better. So much better.  
**Zimms:** Yeah. Even if it’s just a few people, it’s a lot better. I promise. And if you’re ready to tell him, then I’m assuming he’s probably going to be ok.

***

Kent is so distracted during training that Thomas is starting to look concerned. He’s been working with Kent long enough to know when Kent’s distracted because he’s bored and when it’s something else. Zimms likes regimented training. The same routine every day calmed Jack. It bored Kent. Thomas has been a finalist in American Ninja Warrior twice, and it shows in the creative drills he’s always coming up with.

Usually the weird challenges and obstacle courses hold Kent’s attention. He’s faster and more accurate than Jeff on the ice, but Jeff is still bigger so it takes Kent’s competitive drive to beat him. Mills doesn’t beat either of them on anything, but he likes to pick sides depending on the game. Today, Thomas pulls him aside and asks if he’s sick.

“You know it’s better to take days off and let your body heal. That’s not slacking. That’s taking care of yourself.”

“It’s not that. Just have some shit on my mind,” Kent says. He texted Mills in the morning about having dinner with him and Jeff at Kent’s house and now it’s just hours of waiting.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“So, I guess you’ll just have to hate me today.”

Thomas spends the rest of the session harassing him so he has to work harder. Kent hates him a little, but it’s effective and that’s what Kent pays him for. And it does take his mind off worrying about anything else. By the time he’s out of the shower, his head is a lot more clear.

Mills doesn’t let Jeff get the grill going before he says something. He doesn’t even bother to complain about being handed a coke instead of beer when they sit down outside.

“Will one of you tell me what’s going on? You’re starting to make me think one of us is getting traded. Shit. Are they trading me? They can’t trade you guys, right?”

“As far as I know, they’re not trading you. They might not tell me, but they’d be stupid,” Kent says. Jeff turns away from the grill and comes to sit next to him instead. Kent wishes they were inside so he could hold Kit while they talked. He should’ve thought about that.

“But something is wrong,” Mills says.

“Not really,” Kent says. He resists picking at the label of his beer bottle and takes a drink instead.

“It seems like something’s wrong.”

“I guess it depends on if you freak out on me,” Kent says.

Mills doesn’t say anything, so Kent just keeps going.

“It’s um, about why I was really busy last week. Jeff said you noticed. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disappear on you like that right after the season.”

“Are you okay?” Mills asks because he’s too good of a kid to really be Kent’s.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m really good actually. I’m dating someone.” Kent takes a deep breath and forces himself to keep going.

“He was, um, he was visiting last week.” Kent stares at his beer bottle because he just can’t make himself look up.

“That’s cool. Since I know now, does that mean you won’t completely ignore me next time he visits?”

Mills said _he_ so there’s no way he missed it.

“Um. I guess so?” Kent says looking up finally.

“Are you going to tell me who it is? Can I meet him when he gets back?”

“He um, he’s not out yet, and he’s not in a very safe place to get outed right now, so he asked if I could wait until he gets home to tell you. His home, I mean. And I’m going to see him when he’s back in the country, so he won’t be here again right away.”

“Okay. I get why you disappeared. I mean, when Jenna is here I totally check out of stuff. Long distance sucks.”

“Seriously?” Kent finally says. “Are you not going to react to this at all?”

“Did you want me to?” Mills laughs. “I’m not old like you, dude. I went to high school with lots of gay people. Though, I should probably ask if gay is what you’re going with instead of assuming. I just kind of assumed because you obviously haven’t been dating girls.”

Kent laughs.

“Yeah, okay. I’m gay. But you’ve known me a year. I totally could’ve been dating girls before.”

Mills goes quiet and looks uncomfortable for the first time since Kent came out.

“What?” Kent feels Jeff’s hand squeeze his and it helps him breathe.

“Some of the guys know,” Mills says. “Well, they don’t _know_. They’re pretty sure.”

“Did _you_ already know?”

“I thought so? Matty shut down something Teller said at the beginning of the season. He told him we didn’t say homophobic shit in the locker room. Said it was because of his sister and Jeff’s moms because he didn’t trust Teller after that.” Mills hesitates but continues when Jeff waves him on.

“But after I started hanging out with you, he started talking to me about his sister and trying to make sure I was cool. Eventually he said some of the guys were pretty sure about you. There was no proof and if I told anyone, the team would have your back first. But I should stop questioning you around why you didn’t date.”

“And no one thought to tell me? How many of the guys?” Kent turned to look at Jeff, “Did you know about this?”

“No idea,” Jeff said. “No one has said shit to me about it.”

“We figured he knew,” Mills says when they both look back at him. “And Matty said we should leave it until you told us yourself. Shit, I was not supposed to tell you all that. But I suck at not telling you shit. This wasn’t too bad, because I did want to let you tell me yourself, but I can’t lie when you’re questioning me about it.”

“It’s fine,” Kent says. “Which guys? Not the whole team.”

“The ones who’ve played with you a long time and me and Cupid. Reaper, Matty, Rusher, Hammer, Burner, Frankie, Cenzar, Tucan. Penny and Becker, I think, but I’m not sure. The newer guys or the ones they aren’t sure about, they just don’t tell. Say we don’t make those comments because of Matty and Swoops.”

“That’s over half the team.” Kent looks back at Jeff for a second and he just shrugs, looking as shocked as Kent over the whole thing.

“They don’t care?” Kent asks.

“You’ve led the team to two Stanley cups. You’re our top scorer. You’re a good captain. They’re your team. Of course, we don’t care.”

Kent’s laugh is a bit hysterical, but at least he can say he’s crying because he’s laughing. Jeff knows better, but Kent can’t look at him because that’ll make it worse.

“Did you seriously think we’d care? When You Can Play did their thing, we all used the rainbow tape. We were practically competing with the Falconers for who could put the most rainbows on shit. Cenzar’s mask was a work of art.”

“You guys said it was for me,” Jeff said.

“Well, yeah, the public knows about your moms and Matty’s sister. We couldn’t say it was for Parse if he wasn’t out.”

Kent shakes his head and wipes his face off. Then he pulls out his phone.

“Give me that list again. And if you tell any of these fuckers I cried, I’m putting you up for adoption.”

Mills lists off the names he’s sure about, and Kent adds them to a new group chat.

 **Parse:** I can’t believe you fuckers.  
**Reaper:** ? You gotta be more specific kid. It’s off-season.  
**Hammer:** I’m not falling for shit Cap. Admitting nothing until you say what you’re pissed about.  
**Rusher:** Everyone know what you do in Amsterdam Hammer. You put on Snapchat.  
**Parse:** Hammer, don’t think we’re not talking about that.  
**Hammer:** Still hoping I get traded before I see you again.  
**Swoops:** Parse isn’t pissed. I’m kinda pissed. What the fuck are you talking about Parse behind my back for?  
**Cenzar:** Whatever it is, it’s Mills fault. No way he’s on this chat, it’s about Parse and he’s silent.  
**Mills:** It’s not my fault. It’s not bad. :(  
**Hammer:** Obviously it is? What did you narc to your parents about?  
**Parse:** Hey. Not his fault. Back off.  
**Burner:** Can’t pick on the kid or his Dad comes after you.  
**Reaper:** Seriously, at least Swoops let us chirp you a little when you were a rookie Parse.  
**Mills:** I’m not a rookie anymore.  
**Reaper:** You will never grow up bc Parse will never let you grow up.  
**Tucan:** One of u just tell us what the fuck this is about.  
**Swoops:** Apparently you’ve all been assuming Parse is gay and not saying anything.  
**Matty:** WTF? You came out to Mills before me? That is so not fair. I’ve known you 5 years! We were rookies together!!  
**Cupid:** Matty’s just mad bc now Mills gets $1200.  
**Matty:** You spoil that kid Parse. Also, you are missing Penny and Becker in this chat. And Hooks and Davy know from before they left if you want to text them.  
**[Penny and Becker added to chat]**  
**Reaper:** I can vouch for Mills being spoiled rotten. I have to live with the kid. I had it under control until Parse claimed him.  
**Penny:** Why are we having a new chat to chirp Mills?  
**Becker:** Because Parse is in this chat and he’s going to bitch at you guys.  
**Reaper:** Parse came out to Mills and Mills blabbed that we all knew.  
**Matty:** Parse? You’re quiet. You got that we don’t give a shit right?  
**Swoops:** He’s fine. Laughing his ass off.  
**Parse:** Thanks guys. Really.  
**Parse:** Lay off Mills though.  
**Rusher:** So you tell us who you date now?  
**Reaper:** Yes, finally. You know how obvious it is?  
**Matty:** Seriously. Do you know what you look like when you text this guy?  
**Burner:** YES. Let the chirps begin.  
**Matty:** But don’t worry. We’ve kept the other guys from asking.  
**Cupid:** Pretty sure Matty accidentally made some guys think you’re dating a celebrity and that’s why you’re hiding her, but it worked.  
**Parse:** None of your business.  
**Cupid:** NO FAIR.  
**Parse:** Seriously. He’s not out, ok? I can’t. No guessing. It’s not cool.  
**Reaper:** Yeah, yeah. We know. How much time do you think Matty has spent in 5 years telling everyone how bad it is to out people?  
**Matty:** And he still comes out to Mills first. : ( :(

***

 **Kent:** So apparently I suck at being in the closet  
**Zimms:** ?  
**Bitty:** Are you okay?  
**Kent:** Yeah. Great, actually. I told Mills and he admitted that over half my team already knew.  
**Bitty:** Seriously?!?!  
**Kent:** Yeah. 12 of the guys knew. Plus Jeff already did, so I guess I’m mostly out to the team now. Waiting on the newer guys who don’t know. Some of them are expected to trade anyway.  
**Bitty:** WOW.  
**Kent:** Zimms, they didn’t even ask about you so I didn’t bring it up. So probably don’t worry. I guess Matty’s sister really pushed it that outing people is bad.  
**Bitty:** They didn’t ask who you’re dating?  
**Kent:** They did. I told them I wasn’t saying. It’s not my business to out Alexei to the whole team. They let it go.  
**Zimms:** Good then. Feel better?  
**Kent:** Yeah, yeah. You were right. More than I expected with all this shit, but good.

***

Alexei laughs when Kent tells him how everything went.

“Is good. Makes me wonder if I should tell more of team like Zimmboni.”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes and no. Is bigger risk for me.”

“I know. I told Mills I’d tell him, but the rest of the guys dropped it when I asked them to. I guess Matty’s sister lectured him on it. She didn’t even let him tell her which of his friends he thought was gay.”

“She gay too?”

“Yeah. She’s got a wife and everything.”

Alexei nods. He looks back when there’s a knock on the door behind him and a women pokes her head in. Kent can’t see her face clearly, but Alexei doesn’t seem worried, so he can guess it’s his sister.

“Elena says our parents go to work. She want to say hi.”

“Yeah, sure.” Kent wishes he’d had warning so his hair could be less of a mess. At least he has a shirt on, but he tries to smile as Elena comes in and sits next to Alexei on the bed.

“Hi. You make brother very happy. Is good to see.”

“Good,” Kent says. “He makes me happy too.”

“One day find person to help tell stories. If he translate, he change what I say.”

Kent laughs and nods.

“Ask for you address but he say no. Not want me send old pictures.”

“What?” Kent shifts his eyes to Alexei. “Come on. I want pictures.”

“You not let Zimmboni give me old pictures,” Alexei says.

“But I can’t stop Bob from telling you stories.” Kent pouts until Alexei sighs and wipes his hand over his face.

“Will let her pick a couple pictures I bring back.”

Alexei says something to Elena in Russian and she smiles and claps her hands.

“I make so he not know what I send,” she says.

Alexei says something else and she laughs.

“He make me go now. Is good to meet you.”

“You too,” Kent says before she gets up to leave the room.

“Sorry. I just tell her I want time alone. Do not mean to talk so you don’t understand.”

“It’s okay. I know you have to sometimes.” Kent yawns. It’s early morning in Russia but getting late for him.

“You need sleep. Train in morning.”

“I miss you. Tell me about Russia.”

“You lay down. I talk until you sleep, yes?”

Kent nods and lies on his side facing the computer. He closes his eyes and falls asleep to Alexei’s voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Kent knows that Reaper knows! (Which I guess might be a surprise if you don't read the deleted scenes?) And I think I've implied that Matty knew at some point. Either way, Kent is more out than he thought. :)
> 
> (Please tell me if you find mistakes in this chapter. I can’t seem to leave it alone. I’m literally editing it in the Ao3 window on a bus on my tablet. I accidentally hit the button to post it before it was ready so if you read it right away, if you re-read, there’s extra stuff. What is wrong with me?)


	6. Chapter 6

Kent books his flight as soon as Alexei confirms that yes, he does want to see Kent the day after he gets back from Russia. Kent texts Bitty immediately after.

 **Kent:** Can you pick me up from the airport on Wednesday?  
**Bitty:** Tater doesn’t want to pick you up?  
**Kent:** If I see him at the airport, I’m going to jump him and out us both. : (  
**Bitty:** Fair. I can. But um…have you asked Jack?  
**Kent:** Um. No? Why?  
**Bitty:** Ugh. He might kill me for saying this, so try not to gloat too much. But I think he’s getting a little sad you text me more than him. He’s not mad. He gets it. We have a lot in common. The boy clearly has a type, but he misses you.  
**Kent:** Are you sure he doesn’t miss you?  
**Bitty:** Please. I am living in his apartment right now. I don’t give the boy a chance to miss me.  
**Kent:** Ha. I was only asking you bc he’s going to chirp me for how much I miss Alexei in just 10 days, but if he really misses me…  
**Bitty:** Don’t make him mad at me!

Kent can’t help grinning as he opens his chat window to Jack.

 **Kent:** Want to pick me up from the airport Wednesday? I heard you miss me. : D  
**Zimms:** Do I have my boyfriend or your boyfriend to blame for that?  
**Kent:** Aww. You miss me so much that you think it made it all the way to Russia?  
**Zimms:** Walk home from the airport.  
**Kent:** Shut up. I miss you too. I just tend to get on long threads with Bitty about shit we know you don’t care about. Do you really want us to talk about Kimye in the group text?  
**Zimms:** Probably not….  
**Kent:** Exactly.  
**Zimms:** Yeah, I know. Email me your flight info.

***

Most of the time, Kent doesn’t care what the guys have to say about him spoiling Mills. The kid is sensitive, okay. He takes most chirps with the good nature they’re intended but some things upset him and Kent gets it. It took a three years and a C on his jersey before he’d confidently declared his love for Britney and that was easier once he knew her. Also, he’s not an idiot. He knows Jeff drew lines on what the guys could chirp him about until he knew them enough to not be hurt. 

Mills is a happy kid, and he’s so excited to be playing in the pros. He’ll probably fill out like Kent did and not be so small, but also like Kent, he’s never going to be a giant like Jack and Reaper. Kent never minded being small because he knew he was good enough. Mills is almost as good, but he’s been told otherwise a lot more.

On top of that, his hyperactivity and open affection for people isn’t generally what the NHL looks for. If there was an opposite for hockey robot Zimmermann, it’s Mills. And when people tell him to stop being annoying or getting so excited in his cellys, his spirit just drops. And killing a kid’s spirit is not the point of chirping your teammates. So if most of the chirps at Mills are now about how much Kent spoils him rotten? Well, Mills knows he’s accepted and loved by the captain so it’s not a bad thing. And after a year, he’s started to realize the guys like him the way he is even if some of them brush off his hugs or keep walking like they don’t even register a guy his size hanging off them.

But the thing about Kent loving everyone he loves so strongly is that he really cares what Mills thinks. So the disappointment on Mills’ face when he tells Mills about Alexei stings.

“It’s just. He seems like an asshole. He started a fight with you. He hit you. Everyone knows you don’t fight.”

“That was before we were together.”

“Still.”

“He thought I hit their goalie on purpose. Twice. How many fights have Cupid and Reaper started to prove to guys they can’t hit us like that? That’s their job. And he fights so much less than they do.” Kent doesn’t add that he’s grateful for that now. It kind of freaks him out when he sees Alexei bleeding on TV. It’s possible he once sent Zimms 33 texts when it looked like Alexei might be hurt.

“You can just do better than that. I know I’m straight, but he’s not even that good looking.”

“What the fuck? That’s really asshole thing to say. He’s a really nice guy, and I like him. I’m so disappointed in you right now, I feel as old as Jeff,” Kent says. Maybe he has spoiled Mills to the point that he’s a brat, but he’s not usually a jerk like this. He resists pointing out that the internet says Mills isn’t hot enough for his girlfriend Jenna all the time. Because he’s an adult, and he’s not an asshole. “I thought you were okay with me.”

“I am okay with you! And you’re night. I’m sorry. That was shitty,” Mills frowns and looks down at his hands. “I didn’t like Mashkov before you were dating him.”

“Do you honestly think Swoops didn’t say something about that fight? He did, and he said a lot of other things too. And he gave Alexei a chance and now he likes him. Okay? Do you really think Swoops would like him if he wasn’t good for me?”

“I guess not,” Mills admits.

“Seriously, you can’t meet him next time he’s here if you’re going to be a jerk. Swoops was already a jerk. That’s not his job and I threw him in the pool, but it’s really, really not your job.”

“When’s he coming?”

“I’m not sure. I’m going to Providence to see him for a week tomorrow and we haven’t planned past that.”

“Okay.”

“Is there some other reason you don’t like him?”

Mills shrugs and pets Kit, and Kent sighs. When Mills is happy, he’s really happy. When he shuts down, as much as Kent is impatient, he has to wait until Mills decides on his own to talk about it.

“Hey, are _we_ okay even if you don’t want to tell me why you don’t like him?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Then it’s a Mighty Ducks night I guess,” Kent says and takes the remote to bring it up on the TV. Mighty Ducks always makes them both feel better.

Kent lifts his arm and Mills lies down and rests his head on Kent’s leg. Kent drops his hand down on Mills’ shoulder as the movie starts and texts Jeff with his free hand.

 **Kent:** So, Mills hates Alexei. And he won’t talk about it. : ( : (  
**Swoops:** He gave you no reason?  
**Kent:** Well, the fight and shit, but that’s really old news now. Even the press knows it.  
**Kent:** And he said he wasn’t hot enough for me. Which I pointed out doesn’t matter and what the fuck? That’s fucked up. Which I told him. And said I was disappointed in him for that. Bc I’m your moms tonight I guess.  
**Kent:** Besides I pointed out that if you decided he’s ok, then he’s ok.  
**Kent:** Not that you have to approve who I date  
**Swoops:** I do or you wouldn’t use that argument  
**Kent:** Shut up. Can you just try to talk to him while I’m gone?  
**Swoops:** Yes obviously.  
**Kent:** I hate when he’s like this. : (  
**Swoops:** At least he hasn’t yelled “you’re not my father” at you yet? Or did he? If so, I’m really sorry and I’m coming over.  
**Kent:** You have a date. You are not coming over. And he didn’t.  
**Kent:** And I’m really really sorry I ever said that. I didn’t mean it.  
**Swoops:** You were a kid and you were really hurting. I forgave you a long time ago.  
**Swoops:** It’s a first date. I’ll text you when I get home and check on you guys if needed.

“I know you’re texting Swoops about me.”

“Well, yeah. I’m leaving tomorrow for a week and you’re being a pouty brat and not telling me why.”

Mills starts to sit up, and Kent stops him by putting his hand on his shoulder and urging him back down.

“I’m worried. Of course, I’m going to ask him to watch out for you while I’m gone.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry on your vacation because of me.”

“Well, that’s why I’m texting Swoops.”

“So I can be his problem for a week.”

“What? You are not ever a problem. Seriously. Everyone on the teams jokes about it because we fought over who got to adopt you and I won. You were already living with Reaper, and I stole you. I literally pulled rank.”

Mills laughs at that even though it’s true.

***

Jack hugs Kent at the airport and pets Kit’s head when she sticks it out of her carrier. Kent has a cat sitter for roadies because they’re on the move so much. But if he’s staying in the same place for a week, he just takes her with him.

“Bitty says to let him know how soon you’ll get out of bed so you guys can come over for dinner.”

“Not tonight,” Kent says, “He has to leave as soon as I get there because of this shit he’s got to film.”

“Well, apparently having nothing on social media in the off-season is bad. And Tater is good at that stuff.”

“And you just want an excuse for more ice time so you agreed.”

“Sorry. They asked us separately, so I thought you’d be with him. They probably asked a group of us because I’m awkward if I’m by myself the whole time. You can hang out with Bitty if you want and I’ll be back before him. We’re just talking about our off-season training and then the different charity work we each do.”

“Yeah. It’s cool. I’ll do that or take a nap. I got up early as shit and didn’t sleep much last night.”

“For a reason or because you’re irresponsible?”

“I told Mills about Alexei and apparently, he hates Alexei.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I thought he hated you. But he’s decided you’re okay, and Alexei is horrible. Might be because I’m not dating you.”

“Does it really matter when he’s not really your son?”

“I’m sorry. He is totally my son. Just because you like to be in denial that Marty adopted you, does not mean I am. I waited five years to adopt a rookie, and I’m keeping him.”

“It’s a weird custom.”

“Okay, I’ll tell Bitty you said Chowder is not really his son.”

Kent lifts his phone to text and isn’t surprised when Jack reaches over to stop him without even looking away from the road.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Kent says.

“Well, if it’s that important to you, introduce him. Everyone loves Tater.”

“Yeah,” Kent smiles.

“You’re both ridiculous,” Jack says as he parks and walks with Kent to the elevator. “But it’s good. It’s good to see you happy.”

“Aww, Zimms. You do love me,” Kent smirks, but he’s sure it looks more genuine than he wants because Jack pulls him into a real hug.

“I always did, Kenny. I was just messed up for a while.” Jack lets him go when the elevator stops. He’s on the same floor as Alexei because the complex clearly sells the best views to the Falconers it attracts by being close to the rink. Jack pushes him in the direction of Alexei’s apartment and turns to walk the other direction to his own door.

Kent pauses for a moment to realize Jack’s statement doesn’t hit him the way he expects it to. It doesn’t make his breath catch. It just feels safe. Like a reminder of home. Like how he feels about Jeff, but with an extra layer.

Then he finds himself at Alexei’s door and knocks. It opens immediately and Alexei lets him in.

“You put down Kit so I not hurt her,” Alexei says after he’s inside.

Kent laughs and opens the bag she’s in the rest of the way so she can jump out. She winds around Alexei’s legs for before wandering off to explore her new surroundings.

As soon as she’s gone, Alexei pushes Kent back against the door and kisses him.

“You’re evil. You have to go in five minutes,” Kent says as Alexei kisses down his neck.

“Could get you off in five minutes.”

“Oh my god. Are you serious?” Kent lets his head fall back against the door with a moan, but Alexei pulls back. Kent can’t help whining and grabbing at him before he can get away.

“Want to, but then not be able to leave. Cannot call George and cancel promo because you in my bed.”

“Then why did you start this?” Kent pouts and moves to at least snuggle into Alexei’s arms.

“Miss you. Could not help it,” Alexei wraps him up, one arm wrapped about his back and one hand cradling his head. It would be just as good or even better if Alexei hadn’t already wound him up.

“Yeah, well if you’re making me wait, I expect you to fuck me into the mattress as soon as you get home.”

“Now really not want to leave,” Alexei says, pulling away just enough to kiss him again. His hand has just moved down to Kent’s ass when there’s a bang on the door.

“I’m leaving for the rink,” Jack calls through the door. “If you’re more than two minutes behind me, I’m telling Marty, Thirdy, and Snowy exactly why you’re late.”

“I hate you!” Kent calls after him, but he lets Alexei go after one last kiss.

“Come. I show you apartment before I leave.”

Alexei leads him through the living area and points out the kitchen.

“I put litter and bowls for Kit in master bath. So she can sleep in bedroom too,” Alexei says.

“If you come near this bed with me, I’m not letting you go,” Kent warns him. Alexis sighs and leans his head on Kent’s shoulder.

“Should tell George today not good day.”

“You can’t stop your life all week,” Kent says. “We agreed. We have to train and you have to do the things they need.”

“Yes. I know. Be back in a few hours. Jack win all face-offs anyway.”

Kent drags out a few more kisses before he lets Alexei leave because he’s a horrible boyfriend and it feels like a challenge to make Alexei late. After that, he decides he might as well shower off the airplane feeling before he decides if he’d rather bother Bitty or take a nap.

It’s not until he’s out of the shower and changed into something comfortable that Kent checks on Kit’s things. She gets wet food that he mixes with vitamins and her allergy pills in the morning, and dry food left out to snack as she wants. She’s never been the kind of cat to over-eat. Probably because Jeff’s right and he’s spoiled her with quality wet food since she was a kitten. Alexei said he’d have everything she needed, but Kent brought a couple cans of food with him in his suitcase anyway just in case he needed to go out and buy the right food.

Except when he checks out the supplies, Alexei didn’t just buy the right wet food. He also bought the dry food she likes and the same litter and litter box that Kent has at home. And there’s a selection of toys, still in packages that don’t have any of the things Kent went on a rant about being bad for her that he was sure Alexei didn’t listen to.

Kent sits down on the bed and Kit jumps up on his lap. When he lays his hand on her back but doesn’t pull her closer, she bats at his chest like she knows something is wrong. Maybe she can feel how fast his heart his beating.

Kent barely remembers to lock up the way Alexei showed him before he’s walking down the hall to Jack’s apartment with Kit still in his arms.

“Hey! Jack said you might come over. Oh honey, come in. What’s wrong?” Bitty says when he answers the door. He leads Kent to the couch and Kent sits down and leans forward over his knees.

“Sweetheart, can you breathe with me? I need you to try to help me out. I know what Jack needs when he’s panicking. I don’t know what you need.”

“It’s not a full panic attack,” Kent manages. “I’m just freaking out.”

“Okay, okay. That’s good I think?” Bitty says. “Can you tell me what helps?”

“Small spaces,” Kent manages to say. “Feels safe. And things that make me feel safe.”

“Okay. Small spaces? Like closets? And Kit ran off but I can find her.”

Kent nods. It’s stupid but he lets Bitty help him stand up and lead him out of the room. He vaguely registers the bedroom they walk through to get to the closet.

“I have no idea why you’re freaking out, so if you want to be in a guest room closet, just tell me. But you and Jack seem to be doing good, so I thought his things might feel safe.”

Kent nods and sits on the floor. He moves back to lean against the wall behind a rack of suit pants.

“I’ll be right back. I’m just going to go find Kit.”

Bitty comes back and hands him Kit before sitting on the floor in front of him. Kent presses his face into her fur and tries to tell himself that he’s over-reacting.

“Should I call Jeff? Or Tater? Or Jack might almost be done. He just had to film a few little games with the guys and with the kids. His charity stuff should be finished first because he just works with the kids and they’re out by now. I can ask him to come home if he’s just on the ice. He trained this morning anyway.”

Kent nods. Then manages to say, “Jack,” when he realizes nodding isn’t a good enough answer.

Bitty types on his phone a few times.

“Tell him not to tell Alexei. It’s not his fault,” Kent says because he doesn’t think he can handle seeing Alexei right now, but he doesn’t want Jack yelling at him either. They sit quietly for a what feels like forever before Bitty’s phone lights up with a reply from Jack.

“Okay. He says Tater’s filming some extra things, but Jack’s done and he’s coming home. He wasn’t with Tater when he got my texts, so Tater will just think I asked him to come home early myself.”

Kent nods.

“Do you want to be alone until he gets here?”

Kent shakes his head so Bitty moves to sit next to him.

It’s quiet except for Kit’s loud purring against him until they hear the front door open and shut.

A few minutes later, Jack is opening the door to the closet. Bitty gets up and slides past Jack as Jack moves to take his place. Of course, Jack has to push a few things out of the way because he doesn’t fit into the space Bitty made. His long legs stretch out in front of him and his shoulder presses against Kent’s. He must not have gotten enough of a workout to need another shower, because he’s not gross or freshly showered. It’s nice that he just smells like regular Jack. When Kent leans toward him, he lifts his arm to wrap around Kent’s shoulders. He reaches over to scratch Kit but says quiet and waits for Kent to be ready.

Slowly, with Jack’s arm around him and a few deep breaths, Kent’s brain clears enough to talk.

“I’m in love with him,” Kent says. “It’s too soon and, he’s not in love with me yet, but I’m fucked. I’m so fucking in love with him.”

Jack squeezes the arm around him.

“He’s a good guy. Just because he’s not there yet doesn’t mean he won’t fall in love with you. He likes you a lot,” Jack says.

“Or he’ll realize I’m crazy and he’ll get out while he can.”

Jack doesn’t say he’s not crazy because Jack knows what it’s like to feel crazy.

“Sometimes I think that, but Bitty doesn’t leave,” Jack says. “And I’m pretty sure Tater knows something is up with you and is just waiting for you to tell him. You know, they aren’t perfect either. I’m starting to figure that out.”

“But you already know Bitty loves you.”

“Well, we’ve had more time. But Tater is crazy about you. He got home last night and all he could talk about was you. I think he has one folder on his phone of pictures you’ve actually sent him and one of creepy screenshots he takes when you skype.”

Kent laughs a little at that. It’s good to know his folder of creepy screenshots has an other half.

“You want to tell me what freaked you out?” Jack asks.

“It’s stupid.”

“You are hiding in my closet, and I’m not judging you. I think you can tell me.”

“He got everything perfect for Kit. Right food, right litter, right treats, toys that don’t have bad things for her. He got everything right.”

“He knows she’s important to you,” Jack says. “And as I mentioned, he kind of likes you a lot. He’s on the way. He just doesn’t fall as fast as you.”

“No one falls as fast as me.”

“Hey, come on,” Jack says. “We’ve talked about this. I loved you. I was just really messed up.”

“Yeah, but I loved you way before I even kissed you.”

“Really?”

“Like a whole year, Zimms.”

“Well, I’m really slow. Bitty said the same thing, and I’m not sure when I started liking him because my dad had to tell me I did at graduation.”

“You were basically asking him on dates before that.”

“Yeah, so really, who knows how long I liked you? I didn’t figure it out until you kissed me. Maybe I did like you a whole year before that.”

“Yeah, okay. You win. At least with Alexei, I know he likes me. At least _he_ knows he likes me.”

“He’s hoping it’s more. He wants it to be more,” Jack says. “He made Marty look at pictures of Kit. And then pictures of you with Kit. He definitely said something to Snowy that Snowy tried to repeat to me before I put in headphones and started singing really loudly.”

“You can’t sing. That’s just mean.”

Jack’s phone buzzes and he looks the screen.

“And he’s figured out I left early.”

“What’re you going to tell him?” Kent sighs and turns his face into Jack’s chest.

“I’d like it if you let me tell him something. He doesn’t have to know why, and I’m not going to be the one to tell him why if you do want him to know, but he should know something happened.”

“I don’t want to tell him yet. I know you think he’ll get there, but he’s not there. It’s too soon to tell him I love him. He’ll feel like he has to say it, or it’ll be too much.”

“I don’t think he’ll run if it slips out, but I don’t think you have to tell him. Can I just say you got upset about something and talked it out with me and maybe you’re not ready to tell him everything yet?”

Kent nods into Jack’s chest.

“When he gets home, I’ll come up with something. Something that’s true without saying it.”

Jack nods and types into his phone.

“He wants to know if he should come home or if you want to hang out here and calm down more before you see him.”

“Is he going to be mad if I say I want to stay here?”

“He should know sometimes you want your friends first.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m not a mind-reader, but I don’t think so. He’s just worried.”

“Can I hang out with you guys for an hour?”

“I think Bitty is probably making extra things for you now. He already made you a pie yesterday. He bakes when he worries.”

They sit in silence for a couple minutes before Kit starts to get restless and jumps out of his arms.

“Ready to get up yet?”

“Maybe. Are you ready to throw away those yellow shoes? Seriously, Jack. Why do you have those?”

“They reflect if I run at night. It’s for safety.”

“They’re hideous. Lots of places make good reflective gear. I’m sure Bitty hates those.”

“He doesn’t care.”

“Has he mentioned getting you new running shoes?”

“Oh. He hates my shoes, doesn’t he?”

“Yep.”

***

Kent is eating his second slice of raspberry pie when Jack’s phone rings. He makes a face at the display and walks to the bedroom to answer it, but comes back only a few seconds later.

“Did you bring your phone with you?” He asks when he gets back.

“I might’ve left it,” Kent says.

“It’s Jeff. He wants to talk to you,” Jack holds the phone out. “You can use one of the guestrooms if you want.”

Kent sighs but he takes the phone and goes to the guestroom down the hall.

“How did you even know to call Jack?”

“If you could try not to get mad I’d really appreciate it,” Jeff says.

“You called Alexei.”

“He called me,” Jeff says. “And I think his reasons were good so I’m hoping you don’t get mad at him because if you do, then he won’t call me next time.”

“What did he say?”

“That all Jack told him was that you got upset and you were with him. So he doesn’t know why you’re upset because Jack gave him nothing to go on. And as someone who has been on that side of how vague Jack is when he says you were upset, I can see why he’s not sure if he did anything wrong or not.”

“He didn’t. I thought he knew that.”

“He knows you said that,” Jeff says. “He’s just not sure if he did something by accident. And I think he’s worried that he’ll mess up and upset you again when you come back tonight. Assuming you’re not staying with Jack tonight?”

“I’m not. I was going to go see him soon. He texted Jack when he got home.”

“Can you tell me what happened? Because I had no idea what to tell him because you didn’t even call me,” Jeff says. “I’m not mad. Right now I’m assuming you went to Jack because he was closer. And that’s not a bad thing. But also I obviously wish you would’ve also called me.”

“I would have eventually,” Kent sighs and adds. “I didn’t want you to freak out and fly here. It’s not that serious.”

“Mama talked me out of it already.”

“I’ll text her and thank her.”

“So what happened?”

“I’m in love with him,” Kent says because he was going to tell Jeff anyway. “I just realized it, and I freaked out because it’s too fast. Jack says I should just give it time. Alexei likes me a lot and all that. I just freaked out when I figured it out. I don’t want to tell him yet.”

“Okay. So nothing’s really wrong. You just got overwhelmed.”

“Yeah,” Kent says. “You’re being surprisingly calm.”

“I’ve kind been waiting for this happen?” Jeff says. “I mean. I wasn’t sure. You’ve loved exactly one person since I met you and you started out that way, but I know you really well, so I figured it would happen.”

“So you’re just going to leave it alone and tell Alexei to just let me come home and explain how I want to. I’m just going to tone it down. Say I got a little freaked out about how much I like him.”

“Mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“I think it’s probably a bad idea for you to have sex when you’re emotionally overwhelmed like that already,” Jeff says. “And I’d like to tell him that. I think he should know that. And you won’t do it yourself because you’ll worry he’ll be frustrated with you.”

“Swoops, seriously.”

“He called me because he wanted help to make sure he didn’t make things worse for you. Which is exactly what I told him to do. If you can tell me honestly that you promise me you’ll tell him that yourself or that you’re sure it won’t be too overwhelming if you go back and have sex with him tonight, then I won’t do it.”

“And you’ll buy a plane ticket because you’ll worry I’ll fuck it up.”

“’Fuck it up’ is not how I was thinking about it. More like, have the best intentions and then not follow through very well. But you said I interfered too soon last time, and I don’t need another lecture from our moms about letting you make your own choices, so if you tell me not to say anything, I won’t say anything.”

“At what point do I get a lecture from your moms about reaching out and letting my family help me?”

“I’m not sure, but I told you when I offered to share my parents that this is what it would be like. You accepted anyway.”

“You can tell him you think sex is a bad idea. Just don’t make him think I shouldn’t get laid this whole trip. Seriously. One day for me to get my head together and I’ll be fine,” Kent says because Jeff’s right. He’s not going to be able to have that conversation on his own. “And let me tell him what went wrong in my head on my own.”

“Okay. See. This was not the worst conversation we’ve had to have. There have been way worse ones.”

***

Kent waits until Jack gets a text from Jeff that he’s already talked to Alexei before deciding to go back to Alexei’s apartment. Bitty packs up some dinner and dessert for him to take back with him because he says it’s not fair that he got Bitty’s cooking and Alexei didn’t.

“I’m here if you need me,” Jack says before pulling him into a tight hug.

He knocks on the door even though he has keys and Alexei pulls it open fast enough that Kent’s sure he was waiting.

“I brought you food from Bitty?” Kent says.

“Thank you.” Alexei takes the packages and walks away to set them on the kitchen counter. Kent comes in and lets Kit down from his arms.

“You mad I call Jeff?” Alexei asks.

“No,” Kent says. “He explained why you did. I’m sorry I freaked out and disappeared.”

“Hug okay?”

“Yeah,” Kent says and moves toward him. “Hugs are pretty much always okay.”

Being wrapped up in Alexei’s arms still chokes him up a little. It’s so good that he’s immediately terrified of losing it. If even this is almost overwhelming, then Jeff was right. Still, he burrows in closer and breathes in Alexei’s scent. Eventually it becomes clear Alexei isn’t going to let go first and Kent forces himself to pull back and lead Alexei to the couch by the hand. He promised Jeff, Jack, and Bitty that he’d give Alexei some kind of explanation and even if it’s hard, Alexei deserves it.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It just kind of hit me how much I like you and how much I want this to work and it freaked me out,” Kent says and then gives Alexei a sad laugh. “So it’s more that you did everything right and you were so good that I freaked out about that. Sorry. I guess I’m a mess even when you literally do everything right.”

“You not mess,” Alexei says, squeezing the hand he’s still holding. “Is scary for me too. I want to work very much also. Did not think I would find great boyfriend while still hiding.”

“I’m not sure ‘great boyfriend’ is something I deserve right now.”

“Yes, Kотенок, you great boyfriend. Just because you need help from Zimmboni and go get it, not make you bad boyfriend. You have him tell me not to worry and when I worry and call Jeff anyway, you not get mad. You don’t need to be perfect to be great boyfriend.”

“Yeah, well, if I’m great, then you’re fucking amazing.”

Alexei laughs.

“Is not contest. Though that maybe not bad contest. We both win then. Is good. Only thing I win all day. Zimmboni win all face-offs. Beat me at games. Beat Thirdy at mini-golf. Beat Marty at hockey history. Even challenge answer on hockey history and is right.”

“You win at fashion,” Kent says. “Though beating him at fashion is not an accomplishment. I made him throw away his ugly shoes. Pretty sure I’ll get an extra pie for that.”

Alexei laughs.

“Good,” Alexei says. “How about we watch movie? You pick? I want to know your favorite movies.”

Kent almost insists that Alexei picks so he doesn’t have to risk Alexei not liking his favorite movies. But he remembers how each time he let Jeff in on something he liked and Jeff didn’t put it down. He watched _Mighty Ducks_ with Mills last night and he’s not quite ready to show Alexei _Crossroads_.

“Have you seen _Shelter_?”

Kent gets his laptop hooked up to Alexei’s flat screen since the movie isn’t online anymore. Then he lies down on the couch while Alexei spoons around him. It’s not the night he was planning, but it’s not a bad place to be either.

***

Waking up with Alexei makes Kent want to cancel his plans to train with Bitty. It was a good plan when they made it. Jack agreed to let Alexei move their training a few hours later for the week Kent was there so Kent could get up around the same time and train with Bitty. Kent usually spends part of his off-season training with a figure skater to work on his speed and skating anyway. It wasn’t that hard to line up a new skating coach to alternate with his gym days while he’s here.

But he’s determined that he’s going to be getting extra cardio tonight, and he doesn’t want to leave Alexei’s arms yet. It’s even harder because Kit doesn’t understand time changes so she woke him up at four a.m. to eat, and then he went back to sleep. A glance at the clock tells him Alexei’s alarm is going off in a few minutes, but instead of getting up, he just snuggles closer and pulls up the sheet up over him. Alexei wakes enough that he gathers Kent up and pulls him closer. Kent knows if he could go back to sleep, it would get uncomfortable for his face to be pressed so close to Alexei’s chest, but for now it feels safe and warm in way that makes him never want to move.

“Wanna stay in bed,” Kent says when the alarm goes off and Alexei reaches back to turn it off.

“Jack come get me if I not go train,” Alexei says even though he doesn’t loosen his hold on Kent. “He have key in case I lose.”

“Tell him we’re naked and he can’t come in.”

“That get me in trouble,” Alexei says. “And he already see us both naked before anyway.”

“Locker room is different. And if he’s seen you naked out of the locker room, one of you should’ve told me. Pretty sure he doesn’t want to walk in on you on top of me.”

Alexei groans and pushes him away.

“You make very hard to be good.”

“You can stop being good. Being good was last night. I usually feel better after I sleep.”

“Maybe, but will not get out of bed then,” Alexei says. He leans over Kent and kisses his forehead and then his nose before sitting up and pushing back the blankets and getting up.

Kent whines and cuddles Kit instead.

“Kit, you love me. You’ll stay in bed with me,” Kent says to her even though he’s going to have to get up and get dressed in a minute. He sits up enough to lift her into a short dance, then pulls her to his chest and scratches under her neck before she can get mad about it. When he looks up Alexei is leaning out the bathroom door watching him with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

“What?” Kent asks when Alexei just stares at him.

Alexei seems to shake himself out of his stare, but fumbles and almost drops his toothbrush in the process. When Kent starts to get up, he shakes his head and holds his hand up to indicate that Kent should stay.

“No. Just give me second,” he says and turns to wash the toothpaste out of his mouth. Then he’s scrambling back on the bed to sit between Kent’s legs. Kit leaps out of the way so she doesn’t get crushed.

“I love you, too,” he says. “I mean, not just Kit. I’m loving you too.”

Kent knows he should answer but he’s so shocked that all he can do is grab Alexei’s face and kiss him. He tastes the toothpaste and hopes it overpowers his own morning breath. Alexei kisses back and shifts him so he’s lying back down on the bed with Alexei between his legs. Eventually he pushes Alexei back enough that he can talk.

“I love you, too,” Kent says, laughing, and Alexei smiles back at him before moving in to kiss him again. Alexei has already stripped off the shirt he’d slept in and Kent’s just starting to get impatient for his own shirt to come off when his phone beeps with a text.

“Fuck,” Kent grabs the phone and sees the text from Bitty.

 **Bitty:** Tater isn’t answering Jack’s texts. He’s going to come over there if one of you doesn’t answer soon.

“We’re canceling. We get one day to cancel,” Kent says as he switches to the group text with both Jack and Bitty.

 **Kent:** Bitty: Cancel for me and tell Kristi that I’ll still pay for today. Go without me or take Jack. Jack: Cancel for Alexei.  
**Kent:** Alexei literally just said “I love you.” Jack don’t you dare ruin this for me and make him go. Bitty, if he argues, help me!!!  
**Zimms:** Tell him he gets only this day. And I’m telling the guys why he’s not coming after he made us change the time.  
**Zimms:** Happy for you. I’m not YOUR captain anymore.

Kent laughs and shows the text to Alexei.

“Worth it,” Alexei says and moves to kiss him again.

Alexei stops just as Kent arches up to his lips.

“You sure is okay?” he asks. “Can wait for this. Can just stay in bed. Love you either way.”

“It’s okay,” Kent says. “I’m so happy right now, it’s good. I promise. As long as you don’t just get up and leave me after.”

“Not going to leave. Be right here after.”

Alexei strips them both quickly and comes back to cover Kent with his body. Kent wraps both legs around him to keep him close as Alexei kisses every sensitive place on his neck. His hands travel over Kent’s body, running through his hair and down his sides to grab his ass. 

“Kотенок, cannot get you ready if you don’t give me space,” Alexei says when Kent doesn’t relax his legs at Alexei’s urging. “You want get off like just like this?”

“No. Want you inside me,” Kent says, but he still can’t help whining a little as Alexei tries to pull away to reach the table beside the bed. Alexei smooths his free hand down Kent’s side and the contact calms him enough that he releases his grip enough for Alexei to move off him and get supplies. It helps that Alexei leaves one hand flat on Kent’s chest for contact. His thumb flicks over Kent’s nipple and when he comes back, he replaces his hand with his mouth, sucking Kent’s nipple into his mouth and holding it in his in his teeth until Kent squirms and bucks under him.

“Xei, fuck. I need you.”

“Right here. Make you feel good. Take good care of you.”

Alexei tortures him in the best way, playing with and teasing his hole, not sliding a finger inside him until Kent is sweating and begging. By the time Alexei slides on a condom and moves back up his body, Kent is desperate.

“So good for me. So perfect,” Alexei says as he pulls his fingers out and lifts Kent’s legs to line up his cock. The emptiness is torture and then Alexei is pushing in and it’s so good that Alexei has to remind him to breathe.

It’s so much that Kent can’t keep the tears from escaping out of his eyes and Alexei pauses immediately.

“Is good tears or bad?” Alexei asks as he kisses them from Kent’s face.

“Good. So good. Keep going,” Kent says. “More. Please.”

Kent is so gone that it’s a shock when Alexei’s fingers wrap around him. He jerks and opens his eyes.

“Come for me,” Alexei tells him, and Kent loses it completely. He’s coming back to himself as Alexei pushes in a final time before going still and lying his head on Kent’s chest. Kent whines and holds him in place when he tries to move. He stays and finds Kent’s lips for a lingering kiss.

When he kisses Kent’s nose and tries again, Kent stops him again.

“Baby, cannot hold myself up for much longer and not want to hurt you,” Alexei says. “Is okay. I stay right here if you need.”

Kent nods but can’t help whimpering as Alexei pulls out and gets rid of the condom. Alexei quickly lies on his side and pulls Kent with him. His fingers skim down the cleft of Kent’s ass and dip back inside.

“Better?” he asks and Kent nods, glad he doesn’t have to explain why he doesn’t want to feel empty yet. Alexei’s fingers dip in and out of him slowly as he licks down Kent’s stomach to clean him up with his mouth. It’s soothing even if it’s a little too sensitive on his cock.

Alexei moves back up the bed and shifts onto his back so he can pull Kent to lie on his chest.

“Sorry,” Kent says.

“No. No sorry. Nothing to be sorry. Stay like this as long as you need.”

Kent nods, relaxing and starting to drift off.

***

Alexei is already awake when Kent wakes up again, but he’s still lying in bed holding Kent close to him.

“You didn’t have to stay in bed with me,” Kent says.

“I want to, and yes I did. Don’t tell me you not need things you need,” Alexei says. “Besides, I get up for a bit to clean up and come back. Is good. Is not hardship to stay in bed with man I love.”

Kent snuggles closer to him and lays his head on Alexei’s chest.

“We should order food,” Kent says.

“Yes. Need more energy later.”

Kent laughs, but he doesn’t move to get his phone. Instead he runs his fingers over Alexei’s bare chest and takes a deep breath. They can get up in a few minutes and order food and then maybe go for another round. It might be nice to have sex when he’s not so desperate. But for now he just wants to soak in this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a couple deleted scenes for this chapter. I wrote Jeff and Tater’s phone convo because I wanted to know how it went. I might post that in Gimme More soon. Do you guys want that? And because it’s so short these are the texts Tater got after missing training:
> 
> Marty: This is unfair on so many levels.  
> Thirdy: First, we finally know what makes Zimmboni let you out of training if you aren’t injured and we can’t tell the team.  
> Marty: Two, what are we supposed to do? Re-propose to our wives? This does nothing for us.  
> Thirdy: Do we have to get our wives pregnant again? Will that work?  
> Marty: Is this even a fair thing? Do I have to send my wife after him?  
> Thirdy: His only other best friend has a girlfriend.  
> Marty: If I call Shitty and confess my love, do I get a day off?  
> Thirdy: If I appeal to Bitty, will he be able to get me a day off?  
> Marty: I called Shitty. He did make an effort. It did not work. :’(  
> Thirdy: Bitty pointed out that Zimmboni really did it for Parson because he can’t get out of his own training.  
> Marty: He invited us over for pie though.  
> Thirdy: We’re going to eat it without you.  
> Marty: ZIMMBONI MADE A JOKE.  
> Thirdy: A DIRTY JOKE.  
> Marty: I hope missing that once in a lifetime moment was worth it for you.
> 
> ***
> 
> Once again, this is happening on a train on my tablet. I didn’t get it done in time before leaving on this trip and I’m only going to be home for about 12 hours before leaving again to train in another state for a few days. And then it’s back to the night job because as a dancer, I’m less Kent level and more Shitty level. Lol. Showgirl life is exhausting! So hopefully I didn’t make too many mistakes on this one. Five more weeks until my off season!


	7. Chapter 7

**Swoops:** Don’t be nervous. If I have to pull out old blackmail on Thirdy, I will.

Kent laughs at the text from Swoops and it does relax him a little.

 **Kent:** I’ll be fine. You remember I know Thirdy, right?  
**Swoops:** Yeah, I know. That’s good. He always liked you.  
**Kent:** Yes, so maybe leave him alone and stop texting him. It’s one dinner. I’ll be fine.  
**Swoops:** He’s known me longer than you have. If I stop texting him today, he’ll worry something happened to me.  
**Kent:** Fine. At least stop texting Jack. He didn’t say anything, but I know you. This thing where he’s over-protective is already kind of weird. You’re not helping.  
**Swoops:** I watched your tapes from juniors. He was always like that. I’m kind of surprised he didn’t fight Mashkov for trying to fight you.  
**Kent:** Yeah, yeah. I forgot I guess. But if he’s going to be like that anyway, you can stop texting him. And Bitty.  
**Swoops:** I’m allowed to worry about you  
**Kent:** This is going to be way easier than what you did to Alexei.  
**Swoops:** Good.  
**Kent:** Seriously. Tell me you’ll stop or I’ll call Mama.  
**Swoops:** I will only text Thirdy from now on.  
**Kent:** I’ll take it.

Alexei comes out of the bedroom and wraps his arms around Kent from behind.

“Is okay that Jeff worry,” he says. “But it will be okay. Guys already like you. Just want to know you better.”

“He texted you too, didn’t he?” Kent asks even though he’s sure he knows the answer.

“Was nothing bad. I tell him that guys know I love you. They just want to know man I love. Thirdy and Marty are not much for threats. Snowy is out of town and when you meet him, he’s scared of Zimmboni anyway. Plus, he see how happy I am. Everyone knows I’m happy. Even guys who don’t know it’s you. And that all they care about.”

“How is it that knowing you love me makes your friends worry less and knowing I love you makes my friends worry more?”

“They know you when you were sad,” Alexei says. “My friends only know I was lonely.”

***

Marty and Thirdy both have wives and kids. Wives and kids who already love Bitty and his pies. Kent and Alexei brought a bottle of wine because Bitty has banned Alexei from cooking and burning down the building, and Kent only sort of knows how to make a few side dishes that Mama has always helped him with. Maybe he can get Bitty to try to teach him again. Mama and Mom will probably be happy, and he’s always thought he might like cooking if he had people to cook for.

Thirdy smiles and pulls him into a bro-hug after they’re inside and the wine and pie have been taken away.

“Do me a favor when you go home and tell your brother he owes me a steak dinner next time we meet up. He hasn’t been this annoying since you took that awful check in a game two years ago.”

“I told him to stop.” Kent groans, but resists rolling his eyes. At least Thirdy is too nice to mention the time they both played on team USA at the World Championships and Kent fell apart so much that Thirdy called Jeff. Plus, there’s nothing he can do about Thirdy remembering him as a rookie following Jeff around, but he’d like the rest of Alexei’s friends to think of him as an adult. He’s fucking captain of the Aces. He’d like to still have some pretense of authority when he plays these guys.

Thirdy just laughs and shakes his head.

“Never going to happen, kid. I think you know that.”

Kent is glad he holds back his objection to being called a kid when Zimms and Bitty get the same nickname. At least Marty uses Kent’s actual name a few times. Zimms can say whatever he wants about not being adopted. Marty doesn’t even call him Zimmboni or Jack once.

Gabby intervenes when they get too into talking about hockey, but there’s no awkward questions about Kent’s real parents or his past with Jack other than one chirp about Zimms having a type that makes it clear they all know about it. Jeff probably gave Thirdy a list of forbidden topics, but Kent’s not complaining about it. It helps that the kids like him right away. Kids have always been easier to deal with than adults and their presence breaks any awkward pauses.

“You know, you’d think we’d get chirping material for Zimmboni out of this,” Thirdy says when they’re sitting in the living room after dinner. “Bad Bob gave us so much material, and you’ve given us nothing.”

“They not tell me anything either. On either side,” Alexei says.

“Mutually assured destruction,” Zimms says with a shrug.

Kent nods and reaches across Alexei for a fist bump.

Later, when they’re leaving, he gets quick hugs from everyone.

“You know I always knew you were a good kid, and I’m glad to see Tater happy,” Thirdy says with his hand on Kent’s shoulder. “Don’t think you have to be a stranger when you’re here. The whole team knows you’re friends with Jack anyway. We’ll have a pick-up game next time you’re here so you can at least know what the rest of the team is like.”

Kent nods. It would be nice to feel like he knows the people Alexei talks about from more than playing against them.

Even if he did start out as nervous as Jeff thought he was, he means what he says when he texts Jeff on the way back to the apartment.

 **Kent:** It was great. I think they liked me. Thirdy says you owe him a steak dinner next time you see him. : D  
**Swoops:** Yeah. He told me. He’ll get his steak.

***

He meets Bitty in the morning at Alexei’s car to go to the ice he’s rented for training while he’s in town. Kent always works with a skating coach in addition to training with Thomas in the summer. Sure, he’s already one of the fastest guys in the league. But that doesn’t mean he can’t get better, and he knew Bitty would like training with a figure skater. His skating coach in Vegas recommended Kristi and made a few calls for him. After working with Kristi for a couple hours, they race each other on the ice a few times. Kent wins every race, but Bitty holds his own.

“Damn. I can beat every guy on my team,” Bitty says when they start a slow lap to cool down. “I can beat _Jack_.”

“You realize that I’m one of the fastest guys in the NHL. Sometimes the fastest. Depends on the day.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bitty says. “Why did I agree to train with you again?”

“Because you wanted to train with an NHL captain since you’ll be a captain next year?”

“I could train with Jack.”

“One, I’ve been an NHL captain longer,” Kent says. “Two, you already aren’t training with Jack because you know training with Jack while dating Jack is a bad idea.”

“I don’t really know,” Bitty says. “I just kind of guessed.”

“I think you guessed right,” Kent shrugs. “I mean, Jack’s a good captain. But you don’t want your boyfriend yelling at you to work harder.”  
Bitty nods and they skate in silence for a few feet.

“Do you really think he’s a good captain?” Bitty says. “Because I think he is. I really do. But he thinks you don’t.”

“What? Where did he get that? I never said that. Of course, I think he’s a good captain. Pretty sure most people he’s played with agree. Maybe everyone, but I don’t know most of your team.”

“He said you seemed disappointed when he got the A on the Falconers. You thought it was too early even if that’s not what you said,” Bitty says. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you that, but you brought it up.”

“It’s not because I don’t think he’s a good captain. And I’ll tell him that. I didn’t know he thought that,” Kent says. “And I’m not as worried about it now. It’s obvious Marty and Thirdy are still kind of leading him now that I’ve seen it.”

“You think he wasn’t ready?” Bitty asks.

“I think he’s always ready. I think he’s been captain of every team he’s ever been on within a few weeks or months of joining. Okay, that’s not really what I think. It’s just a fact,” Kent says.

“When I joined the Aces, I wasn’t an alternate captain until half-way through my second year. And it wasn’t like the Falconers where they’re all alternates together. Davy was still the captain. I wasn’t _the_ captain until he retired at the end of my second year. And it was a good thing. I learned a lot from him. Mainly he taught me to not be so damn hard on myself. He taught me to trust my team with my weaknesses and accept that we can’t win every game or every year and that it’s not all my fault.

Jack is a good captain. I just thought it might be good for _him_ to get to have a captain instead of being one for a while. Seeing him with Marty yesterday, I think maybe he’s still getting that anyway. So that’s better.”

“Maybe you should explain that to him.”

“I didn’t realize he didn’t think I meant it when I congratulated him,” Kent says. “Which, okay, maybe I should’ve. But it was already done, and it wasn’t my team. I didn’t think he wanted my opinion about it. You realize he wouldn’t even talk to me while I was in the league and he wasn’t, right?”

“You know it was more than just that.”

“And you know that was part of it.”

“Maybe,” Bitty says. “But neither of you are the same people you were six years ago either.”

Kent shrugs.

“Oh my Lord,” Bitty says. “You also think that _he_ thinks you’re a bad captain.”

“I have no idea what his opinion is about it, and it doesn’t really matter. We aren’t on the same team. It doesn’t matter what either of us think about it.”

“So, yes, you do think that,” Bitty says. “Y’all are ridiculous. Yes, it does matter if you both think one of your best friends doesn’t think you’re good at your job.”

“Are you going to make us go to therapy again?”

“I did not make you go to therapy together the first time. I only suggested it to Jack.”

“In front of his parents.”

“Jack agreed.”

“Yeah, I know. Jack likes his therapist, and so I skyped in,” Kent says. “But can I just try to talk to him myself first?”

“Do you not like your therapist?”

“I like Caitlyn fine. I just don’t want to spend all my time in therapy when I’m doing fine,” Kent says. “I’m glad Jack likes it, and it’s good for him. It works for me now to just kind of go if I’m having a hard time.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll talk to Jack.”

“Okay,” Bitty says. “This is why I said I wanted to know you by the way. Of course, now I know you, and we’re friends, but dear lord, my original reason is still valid. You cannot both walk around thinking bad things and just assume it doesn’t really matter.”

***

Bitty at least lets them shower and get some time alone before dinner. Kent warns Alexei that dinner is just a trap to make Jack and him talk about their feelings, and Alexei will probably getting monopolized by Bitty at some point to make sure that happens.

“Is good you warn me,” Alexei says. “Would’ve figured out something was going on anyway. Bitty does not let me come in his kitchen most of the time.”

“I was told you burned something.”

“It was not in _his_ kitchen!”

“I heard the smoke was on the whole floor, and they had to call the fire department.”

“Why Itty Bitty tell you stories that make me look bad?” Alexei pouts and Kent can’t help leaning in to kiss him. It’s adorable.

“Because he made pies in my kitchen when he visited, and he was concerned about the safety of my very nice kitchen.”

“Is not nice of him. He owe me pie,” Alexei says even though he smiles and goes for another quick kiss.

“He will make you a pie either way, but if you want to guilt him, I’m not going to stop you. But he’s also cooking for us, so we should go.”

Alexei laments Bitty’s betrayal as soon as they walk in the apartment and pulls Bitty into the kitchen demanding to taste test everything early so he feels better.

“That was not subtle at all,” Zimms says as soon as they’re gone.

“We don’t have subtle boyfriends,” Kent says. “They are actually the least subtle people I know. And I have a teammate who has tried to fight a dead octopus on the ice multiple times.”

“My dad likes to tell that story about how he punched one in mid-air.”

“He only hasn’t given that video to the press when you play the Redwings because he doesn’t like to make your games about him.”

Zimms laughs.

“So, did Bitty warn you what we’re supposed to talk about?”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “I would’ve warned you he was going to bring it up, but I told him it wasn’t a big deal. We’re not on the same team.”

“I also told him that,” Kent says. “But seriously, Zimms. How could you think I thought you were a bad captain? You were my captain. And I know we never talked about it, but when I won the cup the first time, I only turned things around because I thought about what you’d do. You know that. Your dad told me you knew.”

“That was a long time ago. I screwed a lot of things up,” Jack says. “You didn’t like most of the stuff I said the last year.”

“You were a good captain,” Kent says. “I didn’t know how to separate my boyfriend from my captain. Which taught me that dating my captain was a bad idea. Though that was easy after that because Davy was almost twice my age and married. But it’s also why I’ve never considered dating my teammates. It was weird, but that wasn’t your fault.”

“We were on Skype when I told you I was an alternate. I know what your face means when you react.”

Kent sighs and repeats almost the same thing he said to Bitty. Zimms is quiet for a few seconds before he gives Kent a small smile.

“Marty tells me I blame myself too much all the time still. That’s the first thing he said after we got knocked out of the playoffs.”

“Yeah, well, it’s true.”

“I know. And we’re re-building and I know that. But they brought me in to make that happen. They put me up in every promotion from the first game.”

“That’s PR. Not the team or the coaches. You know that.”

“They made a big deal because I was supposed to get them the cup. _You_ know that. But you did it. You got the cup your first year.”

“It was not the same. I had another guy with me who drafted high the year before. They’d started rebuilding the year before I got there and just not made enough of it,” Kent says. 

“And I was not a captain half-way through the year. I wasn’t even close. I was just playing while all the other guys on the team chirped me for being the baby. I spent hours working with the vets. They literally made me live with Jeff and made no secret that his job was to babysit me. For the first three months, if he went out, one of the other vets conveniently happened to hang out with me.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, and I still maintain that that was overkill. To this day, both Swoops and Reaper call me ‘kid,’ and they always make sure to do it the first day we meet the rookies.”

Jack laughs.

“You’re a good captain,” Kent says. “But I wasn’t a captain at all my first year. And yeah, it was the first year I wasn’t any kind of leader. And it was a good thing. And also, you know why you won the Maurice Trophy this year and I won the Art Ross my rookie year? Because you were having to score too many goals by yourself, and I had a lot more help. _I_ didn’t win the cup. The team won the cup.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Also, you obviously picked Providence to be near Bitty. If you’d come to the Aces, we’d both have the cup. But you don’t regret that.”

Jack rolls his eyes even though it’s totally true.

“I never thought you weren’t a good captain,” Jack says. “I really never thought that. You’ve won the cup twice. Your team obviously respects you. I’ve known that for a long time.”

“But even with us being friends again, you still don’t think I can be _your_ captain. I’m not leaving the Aces, and you have Bitty here, but ignoring that. If Marty and Thirdy retired tomorrow, and I took a trade because I wanted to, you couldn’t handle it if I was your captain.”

Jack doesn’t deny it immediately because it’s true, and they both know it.

“That’s not because of you,” Jack says eventually. “I think if I didn’t know from personal experience before, you just proved that you’d make it work if it happened. Because that speech definitely beat Marty’s version, and I’ve heard his a few times.”

Kent laughs.

“Well, I’ve used it a few times. Most recently a few weeks ago. Literally every hyped rookie thinks they have to win the cup. We are not original.”

“We just got back to this place where we can be friends. And yeah, I have a lot of friends now, but no one else from the Q. No one else who knows what that was like for me. I’ve never been close with a lot of people. You were friends with everyone. I was friends with you. And I was only half friends with most of my team at Samwell until Bitty came along. And then I was only really close to Shitty and Lardo and Bitty. And well, Bitty’s my boyfriend now.”

“How to date Jack Zimmerman: be his best friend first,” Kent says, and they both laugh.

“Yeah, I know. But my point is, I just don’t want to add more pressure to being friends with you right now. We’re finally friends again, and I don’t want to chance fucking it up yet.”

“Yet?” Kent can’t help asking. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t agree with you. I’m just asking. I miss playing with you.”

“I miss playing with you. But I’m good here. And you’re good there. I don’t actually see how it would happen, and I don’t want it to right now,” Jack says. “But I’m not writing it off for eternity or anything.”

“Yeah, okay. That’s fair,” Kent says before standing up and saying in louder voice. “You guys can probably come out now. We know you’re eavesdropping.”

“Hug it out and set the table!” Bitty calls back.

“Seriously, Zimms,” Kent says as Zimms hugs him. “You are like an extreme version of whipped.”


	8. Chapter 8

Sex the last night in Providence is easily the best sex Kent’s ever had. Sex with Jack was good, but they were teenagers and everything they knew was from sex ed, a couple very embarrassing conversations with Bad Bob and what little they’d looked up on the internet while afraid of getting caught. They learned that Kent preferred to bottom, and Jack was fine with either mostly out of trial and error. They were almost never in a situation where they could take their time or be as loud as they wanted.

Since then, Kent has spent a lot more time on the internet. He knows there are a few things he wants to try. Asking for things when your partner doesn’t speak fluent English makes it harder. Or easier. Kent was always better at having sex then talking about it.

When Alexei asks what he wants, Kent says _I want you to tell me what to do_.

Alexei hesitates, and Kent almost takes it back. They haven’t talked about exploring his submissive side more, and he knows that Alexei is thinking that they should talk about it first. But Kent doesn’t want to talk about it, and he especially doesn’t want to stop what they’re doing to talk about it right now.

“I want to fuck you,” Alexei says instead of stopping. “And you wait to come until I say.”

Kent nods quickly. Part of him knows Alexei is trying to do what he asked with as little risk as possible. He obviously has no issues getting fucked, and Alexei knows that. He’s not surprised that Alexei keeps him on his back as he fingers him open and pushes inside. He’s watching. He’s making sure Kent’s okay. And probably, if he thinks Kent’s going to come before he’s told, he’ll tell Kent to do it so he doesn’t feel like a failure.

It’s still the best sex he’s ever had. He holds back as Alexei fucks him and kisses Kent through his own orgasm and then slides down to take Kent in his mouth. His fingers slip back inside, and he pulls off just long enough to look up at Kent and speak.

“You did so good, котенок. So good. Now come for me.”

Kent comes as soon as Alexei swallows him down again. Alexei holds him until he falls asleep.

He’s almost relieved that his flight is early enough that there isn’t time to do more than cuddle and enjoy a few kisses before he has to get up. He knows Alexei is going to want to talk to him about the previous night, but he doesn’t want to yet. He drags Alexei to the shower with him because he doesn’t want to miss any more time. They kiss and jack each other off in the shower. It takes the water getting cold for him to agree to get out and get dressed. He has to pack up his things quickly. Alexei is kissing him against the door when Zimms knocks.

“This sucks. I don’t want to leave you,” Kent says even though he knows that he has to. He has responsibilities in Vegas. Right now, he snuggles into Alexei’s arms instead of pulling away.

“I know. But I come to Vegas in few weeks. Not too long.”

Kent nods and pulls back to kiss him again.

“I love you,” Alexei says when he pulls away. “But you miss plane if I don’t let you go.”

“I love you too,” Kent says. “And Zimms will start banging on the door if he really thinks we’re going to be late.”

On cue, Zimms knocks on the door again. Louder, this time. Kent sighs and nods at Alexei’s questioning look. It helps to know that even if Zimms keeps banging on, Alexei is waiting for Kent’s okay before he lets go.

Zimms is quiet on the walk from the apartment to the car.

“Aren’t you going to chirp me?” Kent asks after Zimms glances over, and he’s texting Alexei before they’re even out of the parking garage.

Zimms shrugs.

“Bitty’s moving back to Samwell at the end of August. And once the season starts, sometimes our games mean we can’t see each other for weeks. But he’s still only forty minutes away. I don’t know what I’d do if he was across the country.”

“I probably should’ve thought of that before,” Kent says.

“Would it change anything? Would you rather not be with him if you’d realized how hard it would be?”

“Of course not.” Kent’s not stupid. It’s not like there’s a lot of great guys closer who would be as good for him.

“Yeah, me neither,” Zimms agrees. “But it still sucks.”

“You’ll tell me if he needs me, and I don’t know, right?” Kent says.

“Of course.”

“I don’t want something to be wrong with him, and I don’t know.”

“Kenny, he’s not me,” Zimms says. “And we were seventeen. It wasn’t either of our faults.”

“I know. But still.”

“I’ll have his back. I already did anyway.”

“Thanks.”

Jack hugs him at the airport and it’s only a little easier to let go of him than it was Alexei. But he has to admit that he misses Jeff and Mills, so he goes. He just wishes they could all come home with him.

***

“Kent, we should talk. Not bad talk,” Alexei says a few minutes into their skype call. He already made a point of confirming that Jeff wasn’t in the house, so Kent has an idea what it’s about.

“I think you don’t want to talk about it,” Alexei says. “But I don’t want to accidentally hurt you during sex. Is good to know what you like before and what you don’t want. Maybe have a word to warn me if you want to stop or take break.”

“It’s not that serious,” Kent says. Because he _doesn’t_ want to talk about it. It’s one thing to joke about sex everyone already assumes they’re having. It’s completely different to start talking about things he’s sure people will think are weird—things Alexei might think are weird.

“I think if we cannot talk about it, then maybe we should not do yet. Just regular sex is okay.”

Kent groans and covers his face with his hands.

“Kотенок, is okay,” Alexei says. “Why is so hard to talk about? Is not bad thing.”

“I don’t know. It’s just weird and what if I tell you I want to try something and you think it’s weird?” Kent admits.

“I can’t promise I want to do everything, but does not make you weird. You ever talk about these things before? With Jack?”

“Not really,” Kent admits. “I mean, when Bob caught us, he asked me if my parents had talked to me about being safe because I guess he actually gave Jack a sex talk that included everything just in case he liked guys when he was thirteen. So, then he kind of gave me the same talk. Which was seriously awkward. But um, he kind of just stopped at if we were going to do something um, more intense, we should have safe words. But we didn’t do anything like that, so we didn’t actually talk about it.”

“You not talk about what you like at all?”

“We were seventeen. We agreed we liked sex and that was enough.”

Alexei laughs and nods.

“And no one else serious enough?”

Kent nods. He should probably admit that he’s only had sex with two other guys, but he really doesn’t want to.

“Is okay. But we talk before we do more, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You tell me when you ready, and I’ll be ready.”

Alexei lets him change the subject then, but it’s in the back of his mind the entire time they talk about Kit and Mills and argue about who they want their teams to get in the draft.

It’s early the next day when he texts Bitty, and he’s kind of hoping that means Bitty won’t answer.

 **Kent:** Um. Weird question. No details. Did you and Jack like, talk about what you liked in bed? Or you know, maybe you didn’t need to. Was it weird? Am I the only adult who still thinks talking about that shit is really embarrassing?  
**Bitty:** We did. And no. Well, it’s still kind of weird for me. Jack’s fine with it. I think I just don’t have as much experience and well, I guess his parents were casual about it.  
**Kent:** Ugh. I know. I got my only sex talk from Bab Bob. Because he caught us making out and asked if my parents talked to me about gay sex. I was dumb and admitted they never said anything to me at all.  
**Bitty:** My parents still haven’t said anything to me and they know about Jack. My sex ed in school consisted of telling us not to do it until we were married. I found out what it was from my friends and the internet.  
**Kent:** Wow. My 7th grade sex ed was better than that. DON’T TELL BOB YOUR PARENTS DIDN’T TALK TO YOU.  
**Bitty:** I made the mistake of mentioning it to Shitty once. He went off about how I’d been taught at a young age to be ashamed of sex and talking about it.  
**Kent:** So after the internet, you learned just about everything from Jack?  
**Bitty:** Well, Samwell freshman sit though sex programing too. It was so comprehensive that it was awkward. And Holster cornered me way before Jack and I started dating and told me I should ask him if I had questions. Which was also how he came out to me. He’s weird.  
**Kent:** So I can talk to Holster again or talk to Alexei?  
**Bitty:** Yes? Tater will probably be easier. It’s getting easier to talk to Jack now.  
**Kent:** I could just keep having vanilla sex. That’s an option. Then I never have to deal with it or talk about what I want.  
**Bitty:** Um. I’m not sure what that means. Also I’m so sorry but Jack glanced at my phone when you said that. He feels bad. He didn’t mean to.  
**Kent:** But he’s going to ask me about it anyway?  
**Bitty:** He’s concerned. I’m sorry! Seriously. I hate these conversations too. I wouldn’t have told him.  
**Kent:** It’s ok. I mean, I don’t ever actually expect you to keep secrets from Jack. I know it could be bad later and I don’t want you guys to fight because of me.  
**Bitty:** Yeah. I know. But he knows you talk to me about stuff. He doesn’t expect me to tell him everything. He worries that then you won’t talk to anyone about stuff like this if you think I just show him everything.  
**Kent:** Enough that he’s going to pretend he didn’t see that?  
**Bitty:** Enough that he will just ask you and not tell Tater.

Kent wants to ignore Jack’s text when it comes up, but then Jack might change his mind about not talking to Tater.

 **Zimms:** Are you okay? Is Tater pushing you for something?  
**Kent:** OMG Zimms. No. I’m not a kid. I could say no.  
**Zimms:** We should’ve talked more when we were together. I just knew you didn’t really want to and I didn’t want to push it.  
**Kent:** That was fine! Seriously.  
**Zimms:** I didn’t realize until I grew up and dated Camilla that I probably should’ve stayed with you longer after. I’m sorry. But Tater should know if he’s not doing something right.  
**Kent:** We are adults Zimms. He doesn’t have to sneak back to his own room after we have sex. It’s fine. Seriously.  
**Zimms:** You don’t have to give me details. I just want to know you’re ok.  
**Kent:** I’m ok.  
**Zimms:** Ok, more details than that. I know you hate talking about this stuff, but I really wish you had talked to me more, okay? I wanted to tell myself we were just hooking up because I grew up and realized I wasn’t a very good boyfriend. But I wanted to be, okay? I loved you and I wish you’d told me what you needed.  
**Kent:** Zimms, we were teenagers. It’s not your fault I didn’t talk to you.  
**Zimms:** Or I could call my dad…  
**Kent:** That’s not funny.  
**Zimms:** So give me something.  
**Kent:** Look, he’s not going to hurt me. He wants me to talk to him in detail about what I like and don’t like to make sure he doesn’t hurt me. I just hate talking about that stuff.  
**Zimms:** He loves you. He just wants to make sure you’re happy. You should probably try to talk to him.  
**Kent:** How is that not super-awkward?  
**Zimms:** But you’re already having sex aren’t you? So it’s getting into kinkier stuff that’s harder for you to talk about? You know, lots of people like things that aren’t mainstream. It’s not that weird. You just need to talk about it and make sure you’re both comfortable with whatever is you want to do.  
**Kent:** OMG Zimms. Stop. I feel bad for your future kids. You’re going to be just like your dad.  
**Zimms:** …you know what? I’ll just send you some things.  
**Kent:** Zimms!  
**Zimms:** Just tell me you’ll look at them. It might help you talk to Tater.  
**Kent:** Did you get this stuff from your dad?  
**Zimms:** I knew it existed b/c of him. I got it from Shitty.  
**Kent:** I will look at your stuff if you will leave me alone and forget this conversation.  
**Zimms:** Sure. For now.  
**Kent:** You suck.

A few minutes later, Kent’s personal account has an e-mail from Jack:

_Having lists helped Bitty talk about what he was interested in. It was easier to say yes and no to things than it was to bring them up himself. Don’t take the extensiveness of these lists to mean anything about us. I just don’t know what you’re getting into so I’m sending you everything._

Jack has attached what is basically an insane list of things people can do to each other. There’s a place to check if you want something done to you or if you want to do it to your partner. The idea is to check things off to compare. It’s not a bad idea. But Kent kind of wants to black out whole sections of the list before sharing it with Alexei.

Kent's not sure if he wants to talk it out in person or just exchange lists digitally so he doesn’t have to talk about it. He’s not famous enough to get hacked, and he can send it from an email address that isn’t obviously him. For now, he decides to print it out and fill it out slowly before he brings it up to Alexei. He has to admit that it’s not a bad method. He knows there’s nothing really wrong about anything he wants. Bob told him that in a vague way. Jeff’s as much as said it at some point. He knows it. He doesn’t judge any of his friends for their sex lives. But he has years of his parents’ messages in his head that make him think just admitting he likes to get fucked in the ass is risky enough. He can’t help worrying that Alexei’s going to think it’s weird if he asks for something more.

***

Jeff and Mills are both at the house the next time he has a chance to skype with Alexei. Mills doesn’t say anything when he climbs out of the hot tub because he promised Alexei a quick call before it got too late. They came over last minute, and the time difference is hard on Alexei if Kent waits until they’re gone. Jeff doesn’t usually mind and just waves him off as usual, but it’s obvious Mills is not thrilled.

“You can say ‘hi’ if you want,” Kent says. “You might actually like him if you talk to him and give him a chance.”

Mills just shakes his head and says it’s not a big deal.

So Kent cuts the call short and doesn’t bring up the list. The last thing he needs is Mills walking in on him admitting that he thinks he might like spanking but he’s not sure.

He finds other excuses for a week before he tells himself that he has to bring it up. Alexei is planning another trip to Vegas in a week and a half and if he doesn’t bring it up soon, then there won’t be time to talk about it before Alexei visits. And Kent wants to try some things, but the idea of talking it out in person seems even more impossible than skype.

“Um. You’re alone in your apartment, right?” Kent asks almost as soon as Alexei answers.

“Yes. Am alone.”

He can tell Alexei’s curious. They’ve definitely ended up having skype sex before, but it usually happens naturally when their conversations just end up that way.

“I, um, thought maybe we could talk about some of that stuff.”

Alexei nods and waves for him to continue.

“So, I kind of admitted to Bitty that I hate talking about sex. I mean, I didn’t tell him _details_. Just in general. And then Jack found out so he got worried. Anyway, they don’t actually know anything because that can mean a lot of things.”

“Kent,” Alexei interrupts. “Is okay. I know they are your friends when we start dating. If you need to talk to them, it’s okay.”

Kent nods even though his face still feels hot.

“Um, so I didn’t give him details, but Zimms sent me this checklist thing. We can just kind of read and check off things we want to do? He said he just sent the most extensive one he could find because he didn’t want to know details, but he didn’t want to worry something was missing either. It’s like eight pages. So, there’s a lot of this list I don’t want to do at all, and I don’t want you to read it and freak out or anything. And I’m not even sure what some of this stuff on the last page is, and it’s in English.”

Kent knows he’s rambling so he’s glad when Alexei interrupts him.

“How about we start with just first page or two? Then we do another page when you’re ready. No need to do all at once. If you don’t like anything on last page, we don’t do anyway so we don’t need to worry about.”

“Um, do you want me to just e-mail you the file?”

“Yes. Is good way to start.”

Kent e-mails the file.

“Okay to talk about directions?” Alexei asks after glancing at it. “Is a few things I’m not sure I understand with English.”

There’s nothing really embarrassing about the directions, so Kent nods. It’s going to be worse if he has to start explaining what something is, but they can get to that if they have to. Kent almost wants to suggest they skip the first column that asks if they’ve already done something, but that’s only because almost all of his are nos. He does want to know if Alexei’s done things before. If he’s done it, he’s probably not going to be freaked out that Kent wants to. Kent blushes just explaining the “shy” column when Alexei isn’t sure what it means, but Alexei smiles and nods.

“Is good idea. I want to know what worries you, so I make easier,” he says.

The list does start with basic things and get more detailed, so Alexei agrees to print out the first two pages and fill them out while they’re still on the call. Alexei apologizes a few times when he has to look up things and then translate the definitions, but it’s not like Kent minds. He started trying to learn Russian when Rusher came to the Aces and failed miserably. He’s not doing any better now and picking it up again has just made Rusher suspicious. It does make Kent wonder about the Russian words for half the list. Logically this stuff has to translate, but how?

“So, can we just take pictures and text each other our lists?” Kent says when Alexei’s done.

“Yes, but we still talk about things before we do. But only talk about what you want to talk about tonight. Can wait.”

The first few on Alexei’s list aren’t much of a surprise. Kent’s well aware he likes giving and receiving blow jobs. It’s nice to have proof that he does prefer topping. Kent always felt a little guilty that he kind of knew Jack would like to switch more than they did.

“You’ve um, you’ve tied someone up before?” Kent asks.

“Yes. You ask because you want to know more about or just because you want to try?”

“No, um, I don’t need details. Just, so, it’s good to know you’re open to it. I, um, want to try it,” Kent says. “Which you know. Because I wrote that.”

“Knowing I already do helps you be less embarrassed about wanting to try?” Alexei asks. Probably because Kent checked the “Shy” column for over half the two pages.

“Yeah,” Kent admits. In the first two pages they don’t have any major incompatibilities. There’s a few things where one person has marked maybe and the other has marked yes or no, but nothing that Kent said he wanted that Alexei is totally against.

“We can try. When I come to Vegas next. After we pick safe words,” Alexei says. He flips through the other pages of the quiz to the last page. “Questions on last page after the list. Can you fill out and send? Can be next time we talk or just send in email if you want.”

Kent nods. He was expecting it because the last page ends with a few questions that ask for actual answers and not just check marks and circling choices. But it’s nothing difficult. He just wasn’t sure he wanted to share the first three things he wanted to try first before he saw any of Alexei’s answers.

“I’m, um, not totally sure about the aftercare question. Like right now, what you do is good. But I haven’t really done most of this so I don’t know if I need more.”

Alexei nods and looks down at the checklist again.

“You think and tell me if you think of anything else. And we start slow and careful. Figure it out.”

Kent’s pretty sure most people would expect this conversation to end in skype sex. They’re talking about his kinks. He should be turned on. Instead, he feels exhausted from how anxious he was about everything.

“Can we talk about something else now?” he asks. “This was kind of a lot.”

“Yes, baby, of course,” Alexei says, physically moving the sheets of paper in front of him and setting them aside. “Where’s Kit? She hide entire call. I want to say hi.”

Kent laughs and gets up to go find her. He knows Alexei is just asking because he knows holding Kit makes Kent feel better, but he doesn’t mind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional content warnings on this chapter for this chapter if you want to skip to the end for more details. (It is something that is included in the tags if you don’t want to get spoiled.)
> 
> Also, this chapter feels more rough than normal. If that is going to bother you, come back on Wednesday when I will probably sneak back in here and edit.

**Reaper:** [attached image]  
**Reaper:** Parse, did you really buy and mail everyone invites to Mills’ birthday party?  
**Reaper:** ZOOTOPIA KIDS PARTY INVITES.  
**Rusher:** What? Why I not get invited?  
**Parse:** You are still in Russia. It just didn’t get there yet.  
**Parse:** Way to spoil everyone bc you got it first Reaper.  
**Hammer:** There is still beer at the kid’s party even if he can’t drink it, right?  
**Parse:** Yes. No drugs.  
**Hammer:** Again. You don’t get to yell at me until the season starts.  
**Swoops:** You know that’s going to make it worse. He’ll have plans by then.  
**Hammer:** It was legal in Amsterdam! And I still might get traded.  
**Parse:** That does not mean you put it online.  
**Hammer:** I have seen pictures from when you were younger. They still live on the internet.  
**Parse:** You are 21. Not 19. I did not do hard drugs. And if you think I didn’t get in shit for that, you’d be wrong. Do you know how much media I had to do to get that shit buried further in the internet?  
**Swoops:** So many charity events and two professionally done “classy” nude photo shoots that were super awkward to shoot.  
**Reaper:** Also, he was basically grounded for months until we decided he could drink again. And management did something else, too. Davy wouldn’t tell us, but Parse was on a serious leash for months.  
**Hammer:** Can we get back to Mills’ Zootopia pool party?  
**Cenzar:** Are you getting him a bounce house?  
**Mills:** Ugh. Seriously. I’m not a child.  
**Burner:** Yes, you are.  
**Hammer:** Pretty sure Parse makes us ask permission to take you out.  
**Mills:** You don’t have to ask him. I’m an adult.  
**Parse:** You don’t have to ask permission, but if you’re buying him drinks, I better know where you are.  
**Mills:** :(  
**Cupid:** That would be more believable if you didn’t spend so much time bitching about Parse ignoring you for his boyfriend.  
**Mills:** I do not.  
**Matty:** You do it so much that I think Swoops had to talk to you about it.  
**Reaper:** Seriously. You’re the only one who knows who your new stepdad is and all you do is complain about him.  
**Mills:** Whatever. Half of you would agree with me if you knew him.  
**Parse:** You don’t even know him really! You won’t even talk to him.  
**Matty:** And still Parse is throwing you a birthday party.  
**Cenzar:** With a bounce house.  
**Parse:** I never said I was getting a bounce house.  
**Mills:** : (  
**Parse:** Fine. I’m getting a bounce house. It’s for the actual kids. Not hockey players who will break it.  
**Hammer:** \o/ Sure, Cap. We won’t get in it at all.  
**Matty:** You know, at least when Parse kept trying to tell us he wasn’t a kid, he wasn’t making Swoops get him a bounce house at his birthday party.  
**Swoops:** I at least tried not to spoil him rotten.  
**Reaper:** Parse, this is why he will never grow up.  
**Parse:** Reaper, you are the last person that can talk.  
**Reaper:** Not my fault I remember when you were a baby.  
**Cupid:** Lies. I was watching him on TV when he was a rookie. He was not like you say.  
**Reaper:** It was faked for the media. In every interview, Swoops and/or Davy was directly next to him and the camera cut them off. He literally just followed Swoops everywhere.  
**Matty:** True. I would try to take him out, and he’d drink and then ask for Swoops. Swoops didn’t have to make us ask permission, because after two drinks, he’d start asking for Swoops on his own.  
**Parse:** Matty. You’re supposed to be better than him.  
**Reaper:** It’s just the truth. It was adorable. I think Swoops held his hand to cross the street.  
**Parse:** NOT TRUE.  
**Cupid:** :’D  
**Reaper:** You know Mills, I could dig around. I probably have some of Parse’s baby pictures from his rookie year that you haven’t seen.

***

Mills’ birthday party at least makes a good distraction from how much he misses Alexei. He only has a week until Alexei is in Vegas, and he’s thinking of asking Alexei if he can tell Matty they’re together. Matty hasn’t asked, but they’ve played together since they were rookies. If Kent factors in that he’s basically related to Jeff and Mills, and Reaper is his over-protective uncle, then Matty is his actual best friend. It doesn’t seem right that he doesn’t know. Kent would say it’s not right that Reaper doesn’t know either, but Reaper still holds a grudge against everyone who has ever tried to fight Kent since he was a rookie. Kent’s not sure he’s ready to deal with that.

When he posts a picture with Britney and her son after he wins his hockey tournament, Kent doesn’t think much of it. Everyone knows he gives Britney’s son some coaching. The guys who really know him are not wrong that he agreed to do it three years ago just because he wanted to meet Britney. But he likes working with the kid, and the kid loves him. Kent would’ve still gone to his game even if Britney hadn’t been there. Still, when Britney posts the picture on her Instagram, he’s going to re-post it. If only to prove to Bitty that he really does know Britney.

He’s careful about the caption. He’s not eighteen anymore, and publicly liking Britney Spears seems a lot less gay when he knows her, but it’s still something he’s careful about.

_Great job tonight! Future Ace?_

Mills likes the picture immediately. The kid couldn’t even get two words out when Kent introduced him to Britney.

Kent skypes Alexei before bed, and Alexei teases him about the picture only a little. If they spend a full minute talking about how much they miss each other, no one has to know about it.

Kent has an e-mail from his parents when he wakes up. Not Jeff’s moms, but his actual parents. He puts down his breakfast when he sees it. It’s his rest day. Kent shouldn’t read it. He should at least text Jeff before he reads it. He’s supposed to. It’s part of the plan they made when Kent insisted on moving into his own place. But Jeff had a third date with a girl he really likes last night. If he managed to take her home, Kent doesn’t want to ruin things by waking Jeff up and making him come over.

He should at least wait to read it, but he’s never been good at that so he opens it. It’s from his mom. She always writes the e-mails even if it says they come from both his parents.

_Kent,_

_We’ve talked about this. People your dad works with see the things you post online. They talk when you post things like this with celebrities that support those kinds of lifestyles. I’d think that being a hockey player would’ve beaten these kind of interests out of you, but I guess not. This is not the kind of music a man should be into._

The e-mail only gets worse from there. It’s amazing how many passive aggressive ways his mother can shame him for how obviously _gay_ he is.

Kent debates deleting the picture. Maybe it looked a lot more gay than he thought it did. But deleting it seems even more suspect after it’s been posted. And he’s not going to call Britney and ask her to take hers down.

He can already feel himself spiraling even though he knows it shouldn’t be a big deal, so he picks up his phone and texts Jeff.

 **Kent:** I’m sorry. I know you might have Krystle over. But my parents e-mailed me. I’m not really ok.  
**Swoops:** It’s ok. Be there in 20.

Kent clutches the phone. He’s not going to e-mail his parents back and make it worse. He’s not going to drink. He’s not going to go out. He’s just going to sit here until Jeff comes over. He thinks about turning on the T.V. to distract him. But everything he wants to watch to make himself feel better seems so _gay_.

He’s still on the couch when Jeff gets there. His coffee is cold. His phone is under one of the couch cushions because even though he knows deleting the picture will make it more suspicious, he keeps thinking about doing it. Plus, he’s managed to never send Britney any texts that aren’t professional and a dozen frantic texts asking her to delete her Instagram post would be insane. Kit curls up on his lap and that makes it easier.

Jeff lets himself in and comes to sit next to Kent on the couch.

“I’m sorry,” Kent says as soon as he sits down.

“Krystle had to work this morning. She didn’t stay over last night. So, don’t worry about that.”

Kent nods. That’s better. At least he didn’t mess things up for Jeff.

“Can I read it?” Jeff asks. Kent pushes the laptop over to him. It took over a year, but eventually Kent had agreed to let Jeff read the e-mails he got from his parents. Jeff knew all about them from Kent talking about them in therapy anyway.

“Okay, this is stupid,” Jeff says after he reads the e-mail. “I saw that picture. There’s nothing wrong with that picture. You know that, right?”

Kent shrugs. Yes, in his brain, he knows that. But the longer he sits thinking about it, the more of a big deal it feels like.

“It would be easier if I was just like Zimms. Or Alexei,” Kent says without thinking.

“What? What do you mean?”

“They’re not _gay_ , gay. No one guesses at all. The only reason anyone ever thought Zimms was gay was because I didn’t hide it well enough. He doesn’t like pop music. He doesn’t even know how to dress decently. He’s the least gay person ever. Well, he’s bi, but that’s not the point.”

“And Tom Wilson tweets about the Bachelor and his favorite Taylor Swift songs. Do you want a reminder about how stupid those stereotypes are, or do you want me to point out that you are not the guy in the NHL showing the most of them?”

Kent shrugs. That’s the confusing thing about his brain. He’ll start out being upset about one thing and his brain turns it into a million other things until he can’t even figure out why he’s curled up in a ball crying or starting a fight with Jeff over it. Right now, he doesn’t know how to explain any of it to Jeff because Jeff’s not gay. It doesn’t matter what he says or does or what people say about him. He’s not gay. No one is going to catch him doing something wrong because he’s not. When he tells Jeff that, Jeff takes a while to answer.

“You know you’re not doing anything wrong, right? Not just with what music you like or things like that. But being gay. You’re not wrong. No matter what they say. And it doesn’t matter what you like or how you are. None of those things are wrong.”

“I know,” Kent says. “But I’m still not the right kind of gay for sports. I’m not the example people want of some guy who’s just as much of a man as he was before.”

Jeff just nods. It’s not the first time Kent’s said it. It’s one of the million reasons he doesn’t want to be the first NHL player to come out and Jeff knows this. Jeff doesn’t argue with him because he’ll just tell Jeff again that he doesn’t understand.

Of course, because the world doesn’t mock him enough, Bitty texts him. He hears the alert and digs his phone out of the couch.

 **Bitty:** That’s it. I expect you to take me to see Britney next time we come to Vegas. Jack can learn to appreciate it.

Kent turns off the sound and throws the phone on the coffee table. Most of the time, he really enjoys that he finally has someone to talk to who likes the same things as him. This morning it just feels like the world is mocking him. Bitty gets to be exactly who he is. And even though a couple places have asked for an interview since he became the first openly gay captain of an NCAA team, mostly it doesn’t seem to matter. Everyone just lets him be that way. Jack doesn’t seem to mind at all. Of course, no one expects Bitty to go to the NHL either.

Jeff sits close to him and doesn’t say anything. Kent’s glad he came. He always wants Jeff here. But there’s nothing he can say that won’t upset Kent more or make him mad. He can’t change things. And he probably doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and make Kent snap. Kent takes a deep breath. He pulls Kit closer and presses his face into her fur. He might be even worse about crying than he used to be, but he hasn’t yelled at Jeff in over two years. He’s not breaking that record because his parents suck.

“You know, it’s not just me anymore,” Jeff says after a few minutes of silence. “I know I don’t get it. But you have other friends you can call if you want to. You could Skype Bitty.”

It’s not like Kent as never gotten help from anyone besides Jeff. He went to Bitty and Jack when he was in Providence. It took him over two years before he did it the first time, but he’s called Jeff’s moms without going through Jeff. But reaching out to Bitty specifically when Jeff is right next to him didn’t occur to him. Probably because when he’s upset, Kent always wants someone physically there. But Jeff’s right. There’s no reason he can’t have Jeff physically there and have Bitty on skype.

He picks his phone up and opens his text window with Bitty.

 **Kent:** Are you home? Is Zimms…not home? He’s training today, right?  
**Bitty:** I’m home. Jack’s not. What’s up?  
**Kent:** Can we Skype?  
**Bitty:** Sure. Give me 5 min?

It’s a long five minutes that Jeff uses to try to make him eat. He listens and eats only because playing hockey means following his diet even when he has no appetite. Bitty shows up online only a little after five minutes have passed and calls him immediately after.

“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” Bitty says as soon as he pops up on the screen. “Are you alone? Did you call Jeff?”

Kent gives him a small smile and shifts the computer to the side for a few seconds so Bitty can see Jeff next to him.

“Oh, good. So back to the first question. What’s wrong?”

“Did Zimms ever tell you my parents hate me?” Kent asks.

“He hasn’t given me details. He’s said they aren’t great,” Bitty says.

“Actually, saying they hate me is probably too much. They’d have to care more to hate me. They don’t like me,” Kent says. “They wanted me to go to college and work for my dad. They thought hockey was a waste of money until they realized how much money I could make from it. But I wasn’t straight, and they hate that more than anything.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry,” Bitty says.

“I’m not even sure if they’d mind if I was just gay because I’m not out anyway. If I was just better at acting straight they’d be happier. They e-mail me every time I mess up and make them look bad.”

Bitty looks confused for a minute before he finally asks, “I’m sorry? Did I miss something? What did you do?”

“The picture with Britney,” Kent says.

“The picture with Britney? Good Lord, that was nothing! I know you don’t read random comments, but I’m sure you know that every time you post something with her, it just starts up rumors that you’re dating.”

Kent laughs a little because it’s true. And obviously, if he was ever going to try being straight, Britney would be his first choice.

“Well, they don’t see it that way. They wouldn’t let me play her music, or well, anything that was too gay. Even before they knew for sure that I was gay. After they caught me kissing one of my friends in eighth grade, it was worse,” Kent says. “They told me I could only keep playing hockey if I was straight. I got the scholarship to that boarding school where I met Jack, and they said I could only go if I was straight. They only let me join the OHL after they found me a really strict billet family. They were probably just happy to get me out of their house.”

“Didn’t you stay with Jack in the summers? They trusted Bob? Have they _met_ Bob?”

Kent has to laugh at that. Yeah, Bob is the most accepting dad Kent knows.

“They just googled him and saw he was a really tough hockey player. They assumed he was the typical stereotypical athlete, and I made him promise to let them keep thinking that. I think…I think he knew I was gay before Jack did. He just didn’t say anything until he caught us kissing.”

“Right. Well, they suck. And if liking shitty music made people straight, I’d be single.”

“Yeah,” Kent says. “I should ask Zimms to teach me how to be straighter again.”

“Jack? Oh honey, please don’t tell me when you were teenagers he tried to help you act straighter.”

“Yeah, and then he ended up with you,” Kent says because when he’s upset, he’s kind of an asshole.

“I’m sorry,” he says before Bitty even responds. “That was shitty. I didn’t mean that.”

“I’m not mad,” Bitty says, “but I think you did mean it.”

“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded then,” Kent says. “Because sometimes it’s weird, yeah, but you’re the only person I can totally be myself around. I shouldn’t be an ass to you just because Jack loves you how you are. That’s not your fault.”

Bitty doesn’t answer him right away, but he doesn’t look angry.

“Honey, did you think you had to act straighter for Jack to like you?” Bitty asks.

Kent shrugs and looks down at his hands.

“Okay, I’m sure that when I talk to him, he will tell you this himself, but if he tried to help you act straighter by pretending to not like the things you like or hiding things about yourself, then it was just because he was a teenager, and he was worried about you getting picked on or something. Not because he didn’t like you how you are. That doesn’t even make sense, because he knows you love Britney, and he has listened to us talk about music and trashy TV shows. He likes you the way you are even if maybe he thought you’d be safer hiding it.”

“He doesn’t even really know. No one does. Not even you,” Kent blurts before he thinks about it. “I’m not stupid. I wasn’t hiding it as well before I met Jack, but I wasn’t stupid.”

Kent wipes at his eyes before the tears even fall. He’s not even sure if he started crying from frustration or if he got frustrated because he realized was going to start crying.

“Can I say something?” Jeff says next to him, and Kent just nods without taking his face out of his hands.

“When I met you, you wouldn’t let me hear your music or tell me what movies you liked or anything. And I thought after six years you knew you can be exactly whoever you want around me, and I won’t give a shit. But if you don’t, then I’m just going to keep telling you. Seriously. If you wanted to come out tomorrow and go out in a dress or something, I’d support you. At most, I’d suggest we call Claire about what to say back to people about it. But I’d support you.

I don’t care what anyone else says about it at all. I know that I might not understand what it’s like to feel like who you are is something you have to hide. But around me, you don’t have to. I fucking promise you that. There isn’t a single thing you could tell me that would make me judge you like that. My moms, too.”

Kent can’t help crying more at that, and he lets Jeff wrap him up in his arms and rub his back until he calms down. It’s stupid and he wishes he’d hung up on Bitty once he’s calmed enough to realize Bitty is still there and can see them.

“Do you at least believe me?” Jeff asks.

Kent realizes as he nods that he means it.

“It’s just habit, you know. It’s not like I can get dressed how I want to and go to a gay club anyway, so I don’t. I would not be wearing a dress though. That’s not really it. Seriously? Is that what you think better fashion is?”

“You tell me what to wear to the NHL awards every year because you insist I have to walk the carpet with you and my suits are embarrassing if you don’t help me. I think you know how I feel about fashion.”

That makes Kent smile enough that he can look back at Bitty.

“Sorry. I’m better at controlling myself when I’m mad than I used to be. But when I start crying, it’s just everything makes me cry until I’m over it, and I’ve slept it off on top of that.”

“It’s okay,” Bitty says. “Crying can help. It’s just toxic masculinity that makes us think we shouldn’t. Which believe me, I get it. I’m from Georgia and my dad is a football coach. I still hate when I cry in front of the guys no matter how much Shitty says that. I think…I think if I’d been any good at it, I would’ve tried harder to do what you do, but when I tried, I still got picked on, so I mostly gave up. And then I came to Samwell, and honestly, I thought that might be why Jack hated me when I was a freshman, but it was all about hockey.”

“They all still like you.”

“Well, you haven’t given a lot of people a chance,” Bitty says. “I mean, I get it. I’m not saying you should just come out before you’re ready and start changing everything. But I think you should at least give Jack the chance to tell you that he was just worried about you and didn’t show it the right way when you were kids. You let me know when you want me to text him to come back. I’d say he’d be home soon anyway, but they’re on the ice today. That always means they stay late and play around until Gabby orders Marty to get home.”

“Don’t. If you call him, Alexei will know something is wrong. He’ll get worried. And shit, I can’t talk to him about this.”

“You mean yet, right? You aren’t ready to talk to him about it yet, but you will?”

Kent’s not even sure what his reaction is that tips Jeff off, but it could be a lot of things with how much practice Jeff has. Either way, Jeff’s rubbing his shoulder before Kent even starts to cry again.

“Hey, hey. No one is saying you have to tell him anything you’re not ready to,” Jeff says. Kent’s pretty sure Jeff glares at Bitty on the screen even though it’s not Bitty’s fault. Bitty’s not used to seeing him like this. Just because he’s been told that once Kent’s cried once, everything can set him off again doesn’t mean that he really knew how easy it was.

“He doesn’t even know,” Kent says. “He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even fucking know.”

“Doesn’t know what?” Jeff asks.

“He doesn’t know how much I pretend. Because I just do it, and he’s seen me in public and at events and stuff. And sometimes I’m so used to faking it that it’s the default,” Kent says. “I mean, _you_ don’t know stuff too, but it just doesn’t matter.”

“Okay, for one thing, I think you under estimate what I know. Just because I don’t know what you’d rather wear because I don’t know fashion doesn’t mean that I don’t notice you hate half your clothes.”

“That’s not hard to figure out. I hate all your clothes, so anything I have that’s similar so I can look normal, I obviously hate.”

“Also, you tailored one of your hoodies but then someone made a comment, so you got a new one that’s baggy again,” Jeff says. “And I know you hate beer. Davy and Reaper also know you hate beer. They don’t know you like fruity mixed drinks though. That’s just me.”

“That’s you. Alexei doesn’t know that, and it’s not like I meant to lie to him. Some things are just habit now, and what if he thinks I was trying to lie? Or he just doesn’t like the real me at all. What if—”

“Hey,” Jeff interrupts him. “Stop. Take a deep breath. Are you making problems bigger because they feel bigger?”

“I don’t know.”

“He at least knows you like Britney,” Bitty says. “And he knows we talk a lot. I think he can make the connection that maybe we have things in common. Literally everyone who knows us both makes fun of Jack for having a type. _We_ have both made fun of him for it ourselves. He doesn’t even deny it. Which, by the way, also supports my theory that he also likes you just the way you are.”

“I’m going to have to talk to him or you’re going to make us Skype with his therapist again aren’t you?”

“I don’t make you.”

“You have Jack wrapped around your finger, and I’m not going to say no if _he_ says it will help him.”

“I think you both make a lot of assumptions about each other and always feel better after you realize you’re wrong, but you still don’t talk about it unless I make you. And maybe once you talk to him, you’ll feel better about talking to Alexei.”

“I don’t want to talk to Alexei about it.”

“Honey, I won’t make you. Mostly because Jeff looks like he thinks he can fight anyone who hurts you, and I’ve never seen him fight in a game, so he probably can’t. But I think it’s not really fair to not even give Tater a chance.”

“I’ll talk to Jack if you stop asking me to talk to Alexei about it.”

Bitty gives him a look, but he picks up his phone to text Jack.

Kent goes to wash his face and try to get himself together even though Jack is going to know he was crying anyway. When he comes back, Bitty is taking the tarts he’d been baking out of the oven and preparing a pie crust.

“Is that for me?” Kent asks.

“Right now, it’s for Jeff because it was his idea to call me. And I already have cherries. I need to go out and get raspberries. I suppose I can do that while you’re talking to Jack.”

“Both would be good,” Jeff says.

“I swear the only person worse than you is Tater. And I’m actually friends with him.”

Jeff shrugs. Kent should probably tell him to be nicer to Bitty, but it feels too nice right now to know that Jeff cares more about Kent than anything else.

They keep the call open, but take a break while Bitty works on Jeff’s pie, and Jeff harasses Kent to eat more.

“Is something wrong?” Jack says when he comes in. “You never ask me to come home. It’s Thursday. It’s the one day Tater sometimes gets called home first because it’s Kenny’s rest day.”

“I don’t ask him to go home,” Kent says before Bitty has a chance to answer.

He can hear Jack laugh from somewhere off the screen.

“I know. You text him to ask if he’s done, and he hates saying no, so he decides to go home.”

“You’re always getting out at different times. I’m just asking. He could wait.”

Jack comes in the view and sits down on the couch. His expression changes to a frown when he looks at Kent on the screen.

“Kenny, what the fuck happened? Is this why Bitty asked me to come home?”

“Yeah. So, he’s a good WAG, and it’s really my fault,” Kent says even though he knows the Falconers are using some other acronym now that’s more inclusive.

“He knows I _want_ him to tell me if something is wrong, and I should come home. That includes if it’s because you’re not okay. What happened?”

“My parents e-mailed me. Being in the vicinity of Britney was too gay for them.”

“Your parents are assholes. You’re an adult. Why do you still talk to them?”

“Zimms, they’re my parents.”

“Really? Because I know I was selfish, and it messed things up with my dad, but I think Jeff’s moms are your parents.”

“They are,” Jeff says.

“Not the point right now,” Kent says to him. “Can, um, I talk to Jack alone? I’m sure he’ll text you if I start having a break down.”

Jeff nods and hugs him before he gets up to go upstairs. The nicer guest room is pretty much his anyway.

“Kenny?” Jack asks when he doesn’t say anything.

“It’s stupid,” Kent says. “Well, not my parents. They’re assholes. I know that. They’re always going to hate that I’m gay, and even if I learn to fight and start playing defense, they’re going to think I’m too gay.”

“Yeah. They suck,” Jack says. When Kent doesn’t say anything else, he asks, “Did you just want to talk about that? Or something else?”

Kent tries to figure out how he’s supposed to start this conversation that now feels awkward. It’s easier when it doesn’t feel so one-sided. Eventually, he just decides to give up.

“Bitty. Help. You’re making me do this. You should help.”

Bitty comes back into view and sits next to Zimms on the couch.

“Of course. I just wanted to give you privacy if you wanted it.”

“You were in the kitchen listening anyway.”

“Excuse me. I was making the crust for _someone’s_ pie. You know I would’ve gone to the bedroom if you asked.”

“I didn’t. Help me,” Kent says.

“Jack,” Bitty says. “Kent seems to be under the impression that you’d also like it if he was more stereotypically straight.”

“What?” Jack says half to Bitty before turning all the way toward the screen. “Did I ever say that?”

“Sort of. In high school.”

Jack sighs and runs his hand over his face.

“Kenny, I’m so sorry. I was stupid. I was scared for you. I was afraid your parents would make you go home if they found out. I was afraid people would pick on you. And, okay, I was selfish. You were the only reason they didn’t pick on me. I was afraid if they decided to pick on you they’d pick on me too.” Jack says. “But I never meant to make you think _I_ wanted you to be different.”

Kent tries to shrug it off, but he can feel the tears coming back already.

“I’m sorry,” Jack says. “We fucked each other up a lot back then. But I never meant to make you think you had to be different for me. You didn’t. I was just trying to protect you the way you protected me, and I wasn’t as good at it. But I always, always loved you exactly how you were. I didn’t mean to do the same thing your parents do. I mentioned they’re assholes, and you should just cut them off completely and block their e-mail, right?”

“Yeah. You’ve mentioned that,” Kent says, smiling a little as he tries to get himself under control again.

“So…can we talk about how you’ve convinced yourself that Tater doesn’t know you and well…I’m not really sure what you think is going to happen that’s bad if he does, but you’re probably wrong,” Bitty says. He glances down at his phone when he gets a text and Kent worries that he’s said something to Tater until he adds, “Jeff is worrying about you. I’m telling him that Jack said exactly what I knew he’d say, and he can stop threatening to send Xander Grimm to Providence to beat up Jack.”

Kent wipes off his face and yells up the stairs.

“Swoops, seriously. If you say one thing to Reaper, I will kill you. I have to specifically order him to not fight Zimms every game already, and he still looks for a reason.”

Kent shakes his head and turns back to the computer.

“I’m sorry. I’ve told Reaper we’re friends a million times. He’s determined to hold a grudge against you and Alexei. If it helps, neither of you are his worst grudge.”

“Does he _know_ about us?” Jack asks. “It’s okay if he does. Obviously, he hasn’t said anything.”

“He hasn’t said anything to me, but I think maybe he does,” Parse admits. “I didn’t tell him, but, well, does Curren say shit to you when you play the Flyers? Like he’s still pissed we took the Memorial Cup from him or something.”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “I don’t think Curren _knows_ , but it might be why Marty and Thirdy weren’t surprised when Tater told them about you. Did you not ask Tater why he always fights him?”

“I did last time. He didn’t want to answer. It was right after we kind of started this thing, so I didn’t push it.”

“Yeah. So, that’s why Grimm fights him half the time you guys play?”

“Yeah. It started when we beat them for the cup. Reaper, he’s been defense on my line since my rookie year. He’s kind of over-protective. Actually, no. He’s ridiculously over-protective. It’s like he still thinks I’m seventeen.”

“Good. I can take a few extra checks. So can Tater.”

Bitty rolls his eyes at the same time Kent does.

“This is all interesting, but also, Tater is just texted me asking if I’ve heard from you. Apparently, you aren’t answering his texts. Nice attempt to change the subject though.”

“I promised I’d talk to Zimms, not Alexei. And I turned off my phone when I was upset,” Kent says as he picks it up. He has five texts from Alexei all about five minutes apart.

 **Alexei:** Babe, home from training. B called Zimmboni to come home early. )))  
**Alexei:** Is your off day, yes?  
**Alexei:** I miss you. Skype when you are free?  
**Alexei:** Is ok if you are busy.  
**Alexei:** I just worry bc you are far away. Let me know you ok? (

Kent smiles because it’s adorable, but there’s no way he can skype Alexei right now without freaking him out.

“I can tell him something if you want,” Bitty offers. “Just say I talked to you earlier, and you’re tired because you had a hard day, but I know Jeff is with you and you’ll probably call him later. That’s not a lie.”

“Yeah. Okay,” Kent agrees, and he sees Bitty start typing.

“I think,” Zimms says, “maybe you should try to talk to him. You have to give him a chance sometimes Kenny. I don’t think he’ll disappoint you.”

“Really, Zimms?” Usually it’s Bitty pushing him and Zimms saying Bitty has to let him go at his own pace.

“He doesn’t even pretend you’re asking him to go home when you text. He just sees your text and decides he’d rather talk to you than play hockey no matter how much we chirp him,” Zimms says. “He loves you. I’m just saying you might be keeping yourself from a lot of really good things with him because you’re holding back. And he knows you are. He’s trying to be patient, but he worries a lot.”

“Did he say that?”

“Not exactly. He tries to be subtle, but he’s still Tater so half the time I’m not even sure what his point is.”

Kent laughs as his phone lights up again.

 **Alexei:** May be busy some for a few hours, but I answer as soon as I can if you text. Is good reason. I promise is good reason.  <3 <3  
**Alexei:** Love you very much.

Kent feels himself tear up again. He freaks out, and he doesn’t answer his boyfriend’s texts and still Alexei lets him know that if _he_ doesn’t answer, it’s not because doesn’t want to.

“I don’t deserve him.”

“Well, he thinks you do. And I think you do, so you’re probably wrong,” Jack says. “And Bitty thinks you do, and he’s smarter than both of us.”

“Maybe.”

“Definitely,” Bitty says.

“Can we please just take a break from talking about this shit for a while though?” Kent asks.

“We should movie night. Tell Jeff he should come downstairs and we’ll time our start,” Bitty says and something in Kent relaxes.

“It’s only one,” Kent says, but he texts Jeff because he’s too lazy to get up or yell.

“It’s four here, and you know Jack goes to bed early.”

“It’s my turn to pick,” Zimms says. It’s actually Alexei’s turn but they all ignore it.

Zimms picks _Crossroads_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: I said I’d come back and deal more with Kent’s internalized homophobia and gender role stereotyping. That’s what’s coming up.
> 
> Also whoever made the Spotify playlist titled “Every Feeling Kent Parson Has Ever Felt,” you are awesome.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s spoilers for the movie _Crossroads_ in this chapter. If you haven’t watched it, what are you doing with your life? Lol

Jeff refuses to go home even after _Crossroads_ is over. Crying is exhausting and sleep usually makes him feel a lot less likely to start crying at stupid little things, but Alexei still hasn’t texted him again so Kent still can’t sleep even after he makes Jeff come sit with him.

“What if he’s mad at me because I didn’t talk to him?” Kent asks when they’ve moved back to the couch to watch trashy TV that Jeff only watches with him when he’s upset. It’s been four hours since the last text.

“That is the exact opposite of what his last message says,” Jeff says. “And you didn’t answer that either. Will you let me text him?”

“No. Bitty already did.”

An hour later, Jeff insists on texting Alexei no matter what Kent says. He gets a reply a few minutes later and shows Kent the exchange.

 **Jeff:** Kent is worried that he hasn’t heard from you even though he also hasn’t texted you. He’s afraid you’re mad at him. I know it doesn’t make sense, but you know he doesn’t always make sense when he’s had a bad day.  
**Mashkov:** No. Tell him I’m not mad. I not want to text too much after Bitty say he have bad day. I’m work on surprise for him that I hope makes him feel better. It just take too many hours. Should be just a couple more.

“See. It’s fine. He’s just giving you time. And obviously still thinking about you.”

“I hate surprises.”

“When you know they’re coming and you have to wait. Which is why he didn’t tell you. Do you want me to ask him so I can be sure you like it?”

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

“Only if I really think it’s a bad idea. Let him do something nice for you, okay? Obviously, I wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

Jeff won’t let him look at the phone as he exchanges texts with Alexei, but Jeff’s smiling by the time he locks his phone. He puts it in his pocket where Kent would have to wrestle him for it. Kent’s yet to win a match since he was a rookie and Jeff was afraid of hurting him.

“I think you’ll like it,” Jeff says. “Honestly, _I’m_ impressed. And he says you’ll know in a couple hours so you can make it until then.”

Kent can barely pay attention to what the Kardashians are doing on TV for the next two and a half hours before the doorbell rings. That’s weird because it means the delivery person got past the gate, but then, a lot of delivery drivers know his gate code. He tips them well enough that it’s never been a problem. They like his tips and their jobs.

“You’re going to make me get up and get it?”

“You can get your own surprise.”

Kent pouts but he hands Kit to Jeff so she doesn’t run toward the door and pulls himself up off the couch.

When Kent opens the door, it’s not a delivery driver. It’s Alexei himself.

“You flew here because Bitty told you I had a bad day.”

“Is off-season. I can’t always be here. But if you upset, and I can be here, I will be here,” Alexei says. “I go to hotel if you need space. Is okay. But I want to be closer.”

Kent steps back to let him in when he realizes he hasn’t. Alexei got on a plane and flew across the country, and Kent still hasn’t let him in.

“Hug okay?” Alexei asks after the door is closed. He’s perfect, and Kent doesn’t deserve him. But he’s here anyway so Kent jumps at him, wrapping his arms around Alexei’s neck and tucking his head under Alexei’s chin. Of course, because Kent’s brain chemistry hates him, he starts crying as soon as Alexei’s arms close around him. Alexei rubs his back and tells him it’s okay and says things in Russian that Kent doesn’t understand except for a few words he knows are terms of endearment.

When Kent rises onto the balls of his feet trying to get closer, Alexei’s hands move under his thighs to hoist him up so Kent can wrap his legs around his waist and cling tighter. They’ve had more practice now with him picking Kent up so it goes smoothly, but this is the first time it’s not so Alexei can take him to bed. Alexei shifts so one arm is supporting his ass and the other is rubbing his back.

“We go to couch, yes? But you stay right with me. Is okay.”

Kent’s pretty sure Jeff comes over and helps Alexei balance enough to sit down on the couch with Kent on his lap. Alexei runs one of his hands through Kent’s hair and kisses the top of his head. He tells him it’s okay and he loves him in both Russian and English. Finally, it seems like he’s out of tears for the day. He takes a few deep breaths before he leans away enough to at least wipe his face.

“Ugh. Why are you still here?” he says when Jeff hands him a tissue from where he’s perched on the arm of the couch.

“That’s a stupid question. This isn’t even the worst thing we’ve been through,” Jeff says.

“If you start giving examples, I’m keeping your moms and disowning you,” Kent tells him.

He takes another deep breath before deciding that he doesn’t want to be more disgusting by blowing his nose in front of Alexei.

“Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” Kent says and gets up to clean himself up in the downstairs bathroom. Jeff follows him and leans against the doorframe.

“Do you want me to stay? I can go upstairs and stay in my room and be nearby if you need me and still give you space.”

Kent thinks about it for a few seconds before shaking his head.

“No. I’ll talk to him. I promise. But I just want to be with him for a while. I’ll call you if I need you.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Jeff still hesitates so Kent adds, “I’ll call you if I change my mind, okay?”

“Even if it’s the middle of the night? If you want me to come back, you’ll call me?”

Kent rolls his eyes.

“Yes, even if it’s the middle of the night, if I want you to come back, I’ll call you.”

Jeff hugs him hard before he turns and leaves him alone. Kent hears him making Alexei promise to call him if they need anything and then he hears the door open and shut.

When he goes back to living room, Alexei reaches for him and Kent lets himself be pulled back onto his lap.

“Sorry. I couldn’t sleep when I tried to take a nap. I hate my brain. I promise once I sleep at night, my brain kind of resets, and I stop crying at the drop of a hat.”

“No sorry. If I fly here just so I can hold you when you cry, is worth it.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Kent says and hides his face in Alexei’s neck.

“Why? You not hold me if I cry?”

“Of course I would.”

“Then you deserve. Is not contest for who does more. One day, I’m sure I have hard time too.”

“Can we talk about it tomorrow? I promise we’ll talk about it tomorrow. But I’ve been crying off and on all day, and I just want to shower and cuddle in bed with you tonight.”

It might just mean he has another bad day tomorrow, but he just doesn’t have the energy to talk about it right now. They shower together, but neither of them tries to start anything. Then they curl into bed and turn on Kent’s TV. Of course, because he’s stupid, his Netflix pops open to ask if he wants to finish _Crossroads_ because he stopped it during the end credits.

“Britney make movie?” Alexei asks. “Did not know Britney make movie. Okay we watch again from beginning?”

“Um, yeah. Sure. If you want.”

Alexei cries on him when Mimi loses the baby and Kent thinks maybe Zimms was right. Then he texts Bitty a selfie of them cuddled in bed. They have t-shirts on so it’s not like it’s sexual.

 **Kent:** Apparently you told him I was having a hard day so he got on a plane.  
**Bitty:** Awww  <3 <3  
**Bitty:** I didn’t show him the picture, but I did tell Jack Tater flew out there.  
**Bitty:** Jack says, “great, now that time I drove to see you at 3am is not as impressive.”  
**Bitty:** He’s joking. Also, he says he’s glad you’re feeling better.

Kent is plugging in his phone before bed when gets a text from Mama.

 **Mama:** Hon, please don’t be mad at Jeff for telling us you had a rough day. He just worries, and he didn’t want to worry to you when you were having a hard time. Check in with him when you can?  
**Kent:** Is he still up worrying?  
**Mama:** He understands you need time with your boyfriend. But he’s never actually left you when you were upset before.

Kent feels kind of shitty when he realizes she’s right. There’s been times they were in different places or Jeff couldn’t be there. But he’s never actually sent Jeff away like this.

 **Kent:** I’ll text him.  
**Mama:** Don’t feel bad about it. We all know how he is. He’s too worried about you to tell you how hard it was for him to leave you.  
**Kent:** Thanks for telling me.

 **Kent:** I’m okay. We’re going to bed. We’re going to talk about why I was upset in the morning after I’ve had some rest. Can you pick Mills up for training tomorrow? I think I need to sleep late and then try to talk to Alexei about all this.  
**Swoops:** The Moms told you I was upset didn’t they?  
**Kent:** Yeah. I probably should’ve realized why leaving me was a hard thing for you. But I’ll forgive myself for being upset and not thinking about that if you’ll not feel guilty about me texting you right now to make you feel better when I was upset about other stuff.  
**Swoops:** Haha. Ok. Fair.  
**Kent:** Go to sleep. I seriously promise I will call you if I need you. Even if it’s the middle of the night. Alexei agrees to do it even if I tell him not to.  
**Swoops:** Thanks.

***

Kent wakes up to still curled in Alexei’s arms and snuggles closer. Alexei must already be awake because it’s only a few seconds before Kent feels a kiss on his temple and Alexei’s hand smoothing back his hair.

“I get coffee?” Alexei asks.

Kent nods, but he contradicts himself by clinging tighter. Alexei chuckles and holds him until he lets go and moves away. While he waits, he pulls his phone off the charger. He has texts from the group chat of teammates who know he’s gay. They all jump back and forth from the main chat. He’s lucky they’re all careful about which chat they’re in before they say anything about him having a boyfriend. He worries someone will mess up eventually, but he doesn’t want shut it down. It’s nice to finally feel like he’s the same as the rest of them.

 **Mills:** Parse is skipping training today bc his boyfriend flew in to surprise him.  
**Swoops:** Seriously, Mills?  
**Mills:** Well, if he wants me to not tell on him, he could’ve asked me not to. Except, you know, he made you tell me.  
**Swoops:** There were circumstances.  
**Mills:** That neither of you are telling me about.  
**Reaper:** I’m guessing Parse is still sleeping. Meet up at my house after you guys get out of training?  
**Mills:** No. I have shit to do.  
**Matty:** It’s not like Parse babysits any of our training.  
**Cupid:** Does he seriously not let you skip training sometimes when Jenna’s here?  
**Mills:** She’s in summer school. She’s been here like 5 days all summer. It’s not really the same.  
**Rusher:** I think Reaper exaggerate about you being spoiled. Seems he’s right.  
**Cenzer:** It’s not even fun to chirp Parse when you’re being a brat in a way that’s not even fun.  
**Parse:** I’m sorry. I should’ve texted you last night.  
**Reaper:** Really? Parse, when your bfs gone, we are having a conversation about this. You should not be apologizing to him right now.  
**Mills:** That fact that I’m not saying all the things I want to say to that tells Parse I’m not being as bad as you think I am.  
**Parse:** Mills. IN PRIVATE CHAT NOW.  
**Matty:** WHOA. Parse *does* have a limit with Mills.  
**Reaper:** Not sure if I should be proud yet. No proof he’s really reached a limit on spoiling the kid.  
**Cupid:** Mills: Movie night? I won’t ask questions.  
**Mills:** Yeah. Okay.

Parse opens his text window with Mills even though the other chat still has messages popping up.

 **Kent:** Seriously Mills? I’m sorry. Really, I’m sorry. I had a shitty day yesterday, so Alexei was worried. He flew here at the last minute.  
**Kent:** We crashed early bc it was late his time and I was tired.  
**Kent:** BC I HAD A SHIT DAY.  
**Kent:** That doesn’t mean you get to imply that you’re some kind of a saint for not telling Reaper about Alexei.  
**Mills:** I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had a shitty day bc you didn’t text me at all. I’m not actually a kid.  
**Mills:** You don’t have to hide from me and only talk to Jeff when something is wrong.  
It’s not fair that Reaper lectures me about hating your bf when he just doesn’t know that he also hates your bf.  
**Kent:** I don’t like you seeing me when I’m upset. I’ve told you that. I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to see me like that.  
**Kent:** I’m sorry if it’s not fair, but I’m not ready to tell Reaper yet. You wanted me to trust you. Well, this is what it’s like when you know something the other guys don’t.  
**Mills:** You’re right. I’m sorry. Really.  
**Kent:** If it helps, I’m going to tell Matty I think. So, you can bitch to him about Alexei if you want once I do that.  
**Mills:** Yeah. Okay. It helps a little.  
**Mills:** I’m sorry.  
**Kent:** You want to come over with Swoops in a couple days? You might like him if you meet him.  
**Mills:** No. It’s fine. You’re coming to training tomorrow?  
**Kent:** Yes. I promise.

“Something wrong?” Alexei says as he hands Parse his coffee and gets back in bed.

“It’s just Mills. I think he’d like you if he met you, but he got mad about me missing training without telling him. And Reaper is trying to get him to give you a chance, and Mills thinks that’s unfair because…” Parse shrugs and doesn’t finish.

“Because Grimm hate me, too, and he’d agree with Mills if he knew it was me.”

“It’s not just you, okay? He’s been over-protective since my rookie year. He still hates Zimms. I think because he’s figured out we dated and broke up. He holds grudges against every guy that even checks me hard. One day, one of them is going to trade to us, and he’s going to hate his own teammate.”

“And I hit. Was so stupid.”

“If anyone had rammed into Cenzar the way I hit Snowy, Reaper would’ve done more than you did the first time.”

“He fight Curren a lot. I know why now. Deserves it.”

“Well, there’s something you’ll agree on.”

“He knows about you and Zimmboni?”

“Not officially. But probably.”

“And he keep Jack secret?” Alexei asks.

“He’s a good guy. He has lines. And he wouldn’t out me.”

“If you want to tell him, is up to you. If he not out me, the rest I can deal with.”

“Maybe? I was going to ask you about telling Matty. We’ve played together since I was a rookie. He’s basically my best friend if you figure that Jeff is family. I think he’s hurt I haven’t told him. I’m sure he’d be okay.”

“Is okay. Anyone else? I know it’s hard with friends not knowing.”

“Jeff’s moms? They’re kind of like my moms too. They’ll be nice though. They’ll love you. They already figured out I’m dating someone, and they probably know it’s you. I haven’t told them so they’re pretending they don’t know.”

“Yes. Jeff’s moms are okay.”

“Thanks. Um, they’re kind of important because my parents are kind of awful. Has Zimms told you that?”

“He say they are not good, but not tell me more.”

“That’s kind of what happened yesterday. They sent me an e-mail, and I got upset.”

“You ready to talk about it?”

Kent takes another sip of his coffee and stares back down at it in the cup. He’s not sure he’ll ever be ready.

“Kотенок, do you think I be upset with you if you tell me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Kent admits.

“You talk to Zimmboni, Bitty and Jeff about it, yes?” Alexei asks but he doesn’t sound upset about being the last one to find out so Kent nods.

“They think I be upset with you?”

“No. Well, Jeff’s pretty sure. Zimms and Bitty are really sure. They think you already know, and I just think you don’t.”

“Then they are probably right that I will not be upset.”

“My parents were mad about the picture with Britney. They don’t like when I do things that make me look gay.”

“Coaching kids’ hockey makes you look gay?”

“No,” Kent laughs a little because everyone really is right that his parents are stupid for being mad about the picture. “Liking Britney makes me look gay.”

“Because—sorry if is not good way to say, but I don’t know better words—they think liking things that supposed to be for girls make you gay?”

“I don’t know if they think it _makes_ me gay. But they hate that I’m gay, and they really hate that I’m _that_ kind of gay. They wish I was like you. Or like Jack.”

“You’re professional hockey player,” Alexei says. “Yes, I know girls play good hockey too. George and Marty talk to me about when I come from Russia, and I try to learn better. But if your parents not learn better, they should like hockey, yes?”

“They just think it’s not a real job. But yeah, I think they were hoping it would make me different. And they get mad when it’s obvious it didn’t.”

“I’m sorry. My parents will not be happy with me when they find out I’m gay either. Is hard, but not sure why you think I will be upset with you.”

Kent shrugs but he forces himself to talk even if he’s looking at this coffee the entire time. If it’s going to be a huge turn off, it might as well happen sooner than later.

“Because I try to hide it. I try to be like I’m supposed to be. And I wasn’t trying to be dishonest with you, but I probably did it with you, and you think I’m different than I am.”

“You think I not like you if you like these things they say are for girls?” Alexei says. “Is not that simple, but also I like B. You know this. And he likes baking and Beyoncé and still plays hockey.”

“Yeah, but you’re not sleeping with him.”

“You think I will not be turned on?”

Kent shrugs instead of answering.

“Okay. You tell me what you think I not like, and I will tell you I like you anyway. I already know you like Britney. And other music B likes too. You like Miley, yes? I hear you sing USA song in the shower on your birthday.”

Kent laughs a little, but he nods.

“You watch that show about the rich girls that Bitty watches and Zimmboni hates? And the drag race. You like different queen than B.”

Okay. So maybe Zimms was right about Alexei knowing things because he can’t keep his own fucking mouth shut.

“I know you not really like beer,” Alexei says. “Is right. American beer is awful.”

“How does everyone know that?”

“Everyone? I don’t know. Me? You drink one all night. Bitty make us all drink other drinks and then you drink faster.”

“It’s not just that.”

“Okay. You tell me what else? Is about sex? We already working on that. Is fine so far.”

That’s a whole other scary thing Kent doesn’t want to think about yet.

“No. Just other stuff.”

“Like what?” Alexei pushes. He doesn’t usually push this much, and Kent doesn’t know how to deal with that.

“My clothes. I hate all the fucking clothes I wear,” Kent blurts out of frustration. “Sometimes, when we get to wear suits, it’s not so bad. But the casual stuff. It’s like I try to dress like everyone else, but it’s like how I’d dress if I was working out or I was sick. Hell, I’d work out in more fashionable clothes if I could. That stuff is not me.”

“Okay, okay,” Alexei says, his voice still even like he’s trying to sooth Kent as he gets more worked up. “What you want to wear instead? Anything is okay.”

When Kent doesn’t answer, Alexei changes his strategy.

“You ever buy clothes you like? And just not wear?”

“Sometimes,” Kent admits. They’re all in the back of his closet. Sometimes he wears them when he’s home alone, and he’s sure Jeff won’t come over.

“Okay,” Alexei says as he climbs out of bed. He takes away Kent’s half-empty cup of coffee and tugs Kent’s arm to pull him out of bed.

“You put on favorite outfit. I can see and show I love you anyway.”

“I don’t know,” Kent says, not looking up at him. “I’ve never even shown Jeff.”

Alexei puts his hand on Kent’s cheek and lifts his head so Kent is looking at him.

“Is okay. You show me you, and I show you I love you.” Alexei nods his head toward the closet.

“Okay.”

Kent’s closet is huge, and he’s glad he splurged on it because he can close the door behind him and have plenty of space. He goes to the back behind all his boring suits and finds the tight jeans that hug his ass in a way he’d never be able to blame on just having a butt built from hockey. He goes through his shirts even though he knows he’s going to end up with the Britney Spears tank top he got forever ago. It’s tight and it makes his muscles look amazing. He actually bought it in person and just told the person selling it that it was for his sister. He adds jewelry. Then takes it off. Then tries to take off the shirt, but he’s been putting on muscle and there’s no way it’s coming off without help. So, he puts the jewelry back on because if he has to show Alexei the shirt, he might as well complete the look. He considers the eyeliner in the back of a drawer. No. That’s too much. It’s probably dry anyway. He hasn’t played with it in a while. He looks in the full-length mirror on the back of the door. It’s terrifying, and he wants to take it all off. But it’s also how he’d look every day if he could. What he’d wear to class at Samwell if he was Bitty, and he wasn’t going to the NHL, and no one really cared who he was. He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

Alexei gets up from where he’s sitting on the bed waiting. Kent can’t look at him. He’s glad he skipped the eyeliner because now he’s going to cry if Alexei doesn’t like it. Alexei comes closer and tilts Kent’s face up to look at him.

“I love you. I love you just like this. I love that you let me see real you,” Alexei says looking into his eyes. His eyes start to water and Alexei thumbs away the tears when a couple slip past him.

“Kiss okay?” Alexei asks and Kent nods. Alexei kisses him thoroughly like they didn’t kiss the night before. His pulls Kent closer by his hips and runs his hands between them to feel down Kent’s chest until Kent breaks away to breathe. Alexei chuckles.

“Sorry. We don’t have to do anything. I not mean to get carried away. I just like very much. You dress like this when we are home and you want now, yes?”

Kent laughs and hides his face in Alexei’s neck before changing his mind and nipping at Alexei’s neck instead. Sure, he knew he looked hot. But he’d somehow convinced himself that a hockey player would laugh at his twink look.

Alexei says something Kent likes to hope is the Russian equivalent of _fuck, yes_ before he urges Kent back.

“Kотенок, we don’t have to. Has been hard days for you.”

“It’s okay.”

When Alexei still looks unsure Kent lets himself be pushed away.

“Really. It’s okay,” Kent says. “Yesterday wouldn’t’ve been okay, but this is. But we can wait if you want.”

“We have breakfast and stay home maybe. You don’t change. We see how you feel later.”

Kent nods and leads the way downstairs. It’s probably stupid. It’s just clothes. But it feels different. Maybe he’ll show Alexei another of his favorite movies after breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a deleted scene/alternate POV to this chapter. It will probably go up in Gimme More tonight. I actually slept last night so this is getting posted on the first half of my commute so unless I’m extra tired tonight, I’ll post the extra scene on the train back.


	11. Chapter 11

**Kent:** I told Alexei about Caitlyn. I made an appointment with her for tomorrow. Are you going to be mad if he goes with me instead?

It takes a few minutes for Jeff to answer.

 **Swoops:** Wow. Is that bc things are going really well or really bad?  
**Kent:** Really well. I guess he was lonely when he first moved and didn’t know English at all.  
**Kent:** The Falconers set him up with a therapist who also speaks Russian. Just so he’d have someone to really talk to.  
**Kent:** He doesn’t go so much now, but he said his guy could call in and help explain things if he doesn’t understand what Caitlyn’s saying.  
**Kent:** She’s better at explaining BPD than me anyway. That’s what we did with Zimms.  
**Swoops:** I’m not mad. Even if you decide you don’t want to talk to me about it after.  
**Swoops:** But can I still try to ask? Sorry. It’s hard to not be worried.  
**Swoops:** The only other time I didn’t go with you on purpose was when you went with Zimmermann.  
**Swoops:** Which I understood because you were talking about his issues too.  
**Swoops:** I can understand this if I have to.  
**Kent:** You can come over after we get home.  
**Kent:** There’s some other stuff I want to talk to you about.  
**Kent:** It’s not bad.  
**Kent:** Alexei thinks it might help if I dress like I actually want to dress at home sometimes.  
**Kent:** When it’s just me and him or me and you.  
**Kent:** And I think maybe I want to see how Matty, Reaper, and Mills feel about it?  
**Kent:** And Zimms and Bitty when they visit probably, but that will be easier than the other guys  
**Swoops:** I think all of those people are good options to start with.  
**Swoops:** Maybe our moms? So, someone besides me can be overly proud of you.  
**Kent:** Ugh. Stop it. But yeah. Obviously your moms.  
**Swoops:** Our moms. I think I’m agreeing with Zimmermann. I haven’t wanted to push, but you know what? I have to deal with Bob again now. I won’t push about him. I think you should think about blocking your old parents out.  
**Kent:** I don’t know. That seems like another Caitlyn appointment so can we just table that for now?  
**Swoops:** Sure.  
**Swoops:** Are you going to tell Matty and Reaper about Alexei?  
**Kent:** Matty, yes.  
**Swoops:** But not Reaper bc he’s going to hate Alexei as much as Mills?  
**Kent:** Is that wrong?  
**Swoops:** I don’t know. I mean, you know he won’t out him. He never would.  
**Swoops:** So do you want to use the excuse that you’re gay to avoid having a significant other that Reaper hates  
**Swoops:** Or do you want to tell him like you would have to if it was a girl he’d hate and be normal like you always said you wanted?  
**Kent:** I hate you and your logic.  
**Swoops:** If you explain to them the clothes thing, then they’ll probably both behave for one dinner to try to be supportive of that. Maybe they’ll like Mashkov by the end of it by accident.  
**Kent:** I love you and your logic.

***

Mills apologizes in person before they start training, and Kent apologizes again for not telling him that he was going to miss training. He knows his excuse is good. But he also knows Mills’ real parents just randomly stand him up all the time. They’ve been to two games. They left early during the second one because his mom got a business call. Mills is adopted, and it’s like they never fully committed to having a kid the way Jeff’s moms did. At least they figured that out at some point when they were letting him get raised by nannies and didn’t adopt another one. It’s why Kent doesn’t get jealous of the way Reaper is with Mills from living with him. Mills can have extra family. Kent knows what it’s like to need that. Jeff is Kent’s favorite, but he still likes to have Davy and Reaper and all the Zimmermanns.

“So, I have an appointment after training today, but I want to talk to you about something tonight, okay?” Kent says. “I’ll text you. It’s not bad.”

“You can just say today you want to hang out with him,” Mills says.

“It’s not that,” Kent says and then looks and Jeff and decides to just go for it. “You wanted me to be honest with you? I have some mental health issues. Not all the guys know, but some of them do. Mostly the guys who knew me my first two years. I’m trying to be honest with Alexei about it, but it’s hard to explain and since I had a bad day anyway, we’re going to my shrink today.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Mills says. “It’s fine. Thanks for telling me. And I mean, I kind of suspected, but I wasn’t going to ask.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” Kent says. “It’s just that I kind of like having you think I’m stronger than that.”

Mills rolls his eyes.

“That just makes you more impressive because you have that shit going on and you’re still doing all this other stuff. I’m going to dress up as you for Halloween again.”

Kent laughs. One day if he ever feels stable enough to really adopt kids of his own, he hopes they’re as cool as Mills.

“Sometimes I feel worse after appointments than I think I will. So, if I don’t text you, I’ll have Jeff text you and explain, okay?”

Mills agrees, and they turn off the car to go into the gym. It’s going to be hard for Kent to concentrate, but at least Mills knows why his head isn’t in it now.

***

Kent texts Jeff while Alexei drives his car home and tells him that he can come over.

 **Kent:** So I think that was the easiest appointment I’ve ever had. So, you can stop worrying.  
**Kent:** We’re on the way home. Meet us there? Bring food as a display of how proud you are of me?  
**Swoops:** Ha. Sure.  
**Kent:** Is was easy bc we spent most of the appointment just talking about what BPD is and that parts that apply to me. And what Alexei can do.  
**Kent:** I’ve done all that before with you and Zimms and half of it was going from English to Russian and back.  
**Kent:** So I still hated it but it was nothing deep.  
**Swoops:** And Mashkov was ok?  
**Kent:** Yeah.  
**Kent:** He’s only seen how much I fucking cry when I’m upset so far, but we talked about stuff if it’s worse. What he should do if I start getting mad and being an asshole.  
**Kent:** But it’s mostly the same as with you  
**Kent:** And now you and Jack don’t have to talk around what’s wrong with me, so that’s easier if he needs help.

Kent’s still tired from the appointment so he doesn’t want to go out, but he does change into clothes he likes when they get home. Caitlyn agreed with his plan to start being more himself with the people he trusts. Jeff’s the obvious safe place to start.

“I’m not even a little surprised,” Jeff says when he sees Kent’s outfit. Then he puts down the bags of take-out and hugs Kent. Kent hugs him back for a bit longer than Kent himself needs. He’s going to be better about remembering how all the changes in his life effect Swoops if he has to set calendar alerts on his phone to remind him.

“Also, you look great. And if you ever decide to just up and wear this to a team thing, I’m going to support you.”

“Thanks. That’s going to be a while from now—if it ever happens,” Kent says. 

Jeff waits until after they’re almost finished eating before he asks, “Do you want to text Mills, or do you want me to tell him not tonight?”

“I’m going to text him. And probably Matty and Reaper after. Caitlyn helped me write up something so I can just copy and paste it into the text. I, um, texted it to Zimms and Bitty and sent them a picture of this outfit during the appointment and it went okay. So, the first test worked out.”

 **Kent:** Hey. So, about that thing I wanted to text you about.  
**Mills:** Go ahead. Also, I love how you and Swoops use our group text while you’re in the same room.  
**Kent:** It’s less confusing when he wants to butt in.  
**Mills:** Yeah, I know. And he’s always going to butt in.  
**Kent:** Exactly. So since I came out to you and ended up coming out to lots of the guys too, it’s been awesome. But the problem that happened the other day was that I’ve spent so much time trying to be straight so I don’t get caught that I feel like my friends don’t know me. It’s not like I can be out in public, so even after I trust people, I still kind of keep up the act out of habit.  
**Kent:** But I kind of want to try at least being as authentic as I can in private with people I trust. Even if it’s just at my house and their houses. So I was going to start with you, Matty, and Reaper. And maybe have you guys come over for dinner tomorrow and just dress like I’d dress if I could and try to be normal. I know it might be really weird.  
**Kent:** And I know you don’t want to see Alexei, but it’s going to be hard on me, and I think you’ll probably be the most normal about it. So, I’d really like it if you’d just try to put that aside for one night and support me.  
**Mills:** Okay. First, obviously I will support you. I don’t care what you wear, and I don’t think anything you do is going to make me hate you because that kind of shit isn’t why I’m friends with you. So yes, I will be nice tomorrow night. I am an adult.  
**Mills:** So you’re going to tell Matty and Reaper about Alexei too?  
**Kent:** Yeah. And Reaper will probably support me and hate Alexei so that should make it easier on you.  
**Mills:** I can wait a day to gloat about it.  
**Kent:** Wow thanks so much.  
**Kent:** And thanks for the part where you weren’t a jerk.  
**Mills:** I love you. You’re welcome. Mashkov is still a douche.  
**Kent:** Can you forget that last part for a while if I put you in a chat with Reaper and Matty?  
**Mills:** Please. I’m not going to tell Reaper. I want to see his reaction in person.

 **Parse:** So two things. Don’t freak out about the first thing and promise to keep it a secret and you can both come over tomorrow for dinner and meet my boyfriend.  
**Matty:** Do we have to keep it secret that we know or just a secret who he is? The first one might be hard.  
**Reaper:** Mills is in this chat. Is he coming?  
**Parse:** Just a secret who he is. I’ll explain to the guys that I just don’t want to introduce everyone at once.  
**Parse:** He’s coming. He’s promised to be nice for at least tomorrow. Mostly because of the other thing.  
**Matty:** Interesting. Yeah. I’m good then.  
**Reaper:** Me too. What’s the other thing?

Kent copy and pastes the same long explanation he sent to Mills. Then he has to watch the dots appear and disappear as they both write. Either they’re both writing a book, or they’re having a hard time answering. Kent is so tense that Jeff puts an arm around him.

 **Reaper:** Parse, I’m fine with however you are. Also, you’re probably not going to surprise me. I’ve known you since you were barely eighteen. I can tell when you really hate what you’re wearing.  
**Matty:** Same. It just took me a while to figure out why you might do that.  
**Parse:** Shit. Do all the other guys know this too?  
**Matty:** Um. No idea. I thought it was just me.  
**Reaper:** I also thought it was just me. It’s never come up bc it’s not the kind of thing we need to worry about. The guys who might say stupid homophobic things don’t notice things like that because they also don’t know you that well.  
**Matty:** And they never click with the team unless they stop being dumb so they usually get traded. : )  
**Parse:** You guys are ridiculous. Also, I love you guys.  
**Reaper:** I’ll get a babysitter for Mason and Emily. Do you want me to bring Ty or no?  
**Parse:** Does Ty know about me?  
**Reaper:** Yeah. Sorry. I should’ve told you that.  
**Parse:** I kind of assumed anyway. Will she be ok if I’m weird?  
**Reaper:** Yes. I promise. But also, who you are is not weird. I really doubt I’m going to be that surprised by anything.  
**Parse:** Then yes. Please bring her.  
**Mills:** lol.  
**Reaper:** Why is that funny?  
**Mills:** No reason.  
**Reaper:** You’re a brat. Also, turn down your music. It’s too loud. It was also too loud last night.  
**Mills:** I turned it up last night bc YOU were too loud.  
**Matty:** Why was this not something you told the main chat? FAIL Mills. Have we taught you nothing?  
**Reaper:** Fair. Can you put the music on a timer or something so it’s not on all night?  
**Mills:** Fifteen minutes?  
**Reaper:** You know that’s not right.  
**Swoops:** Do you need to sleep at my place tomorrow, Mills?  
**Mills:** Ugh. Is tonight possible? I swear they are trying to make a new baby.  
**Mills:** But not tomorrow. I want to be home after dinner tomorrow. ; )  
**Swoops:** Behave now and you can come over tonight and sleep in Parse’s room.  
**Swoops:** I’m at Parse’s now but I’m definitely going back to my apartment soon. There are some things I don’t need to see. I can pick you up.  
**Mills:** EWW. Stop. I pretend they don’t have sex.  
**Parse:** Kicking Swoops out of my house now. ; )  
**Mills:** Ugh. Gross. No. Stop.  
**Mills:** Because you’re you. Not bc you’re gay. I also hate knowing about and HEARING Reaper’s sex life. I’m very happy Swoops has no sex life. :D  
**Mills:** Also bc your bf is a jerk.  
**Swoops:** You can sleep next to the baby making.  
**Mills:** Being nice. Come save me!

 **Parse:** So I’m letting Matty and Reaper meet the bf tomorrow.  
**Parse:** Can you guys please understand that I just need to do this slowly and not be mad?  
**Rusher:** Of course. We kind of expected they’d next. But I friend long time too. Me eventually? : (  
**Cenzer:** We’re all trying to be patient and we all want to meet him. But we’re not going to get mad.  
**Hammer:** But if I get traded, I expect to at least not get kicked off this chat and you better get to me eventually.  
**Parse:** No one is kicking anyone off this chat.  
**Hammer:** You never added Davy and Hooks though.  
**[Davy and Hooks added to chat]**  
**Parse:** Welcome guys. Even though I came out to both of you privately once I found out you knew. Hammer thinks because I didn’t add you to the Aces chat of guys who know that I’m going to kick him out if he gets traded.  
**Parse:** Though he’s not getting traded.  
**Hooks:** lol. Hi guys.  
**Rusher:** Hammer do drugs in Amsterdam and put on snapchat. Hope he get traded before the season so Parse can’t yell at him.  
**Davy:** Well, that’s the highlight of my life right there. Seems unfair Parse. I only got on you for stuff you did during the season.  
**Hammer:** YESSS. We have never actually met but I love you.  
**Hooks:** Good. Davy is actually your grandfather. Ugh. I love my Aeros but now I miss you all. :’(  
**Cenzer:** I saw you last week. So did Hammer.  
**Parse:** Not the same, Davy. That’s bc you assumed Swoops and his moms handled it. Hooks had Hammer and then Hammer moved out and Hooks left and *then* this shit happened.  
**Hooks:** Which no one told me about btw.  
**Parse:** You weren’t on that snap?  
**Davy:** Wow. You two are the responsible ones now.  
**Hammer:** Dammit.  
**Hooks:** I was NOT on that snap. WTF??  
**Parse:** You’re the one who wanted him in chat Hammer.  
**Hammer:** I regret so many choices.  
**Hooks:** Seriously? How could you not tell me? I’ve heard you have your own kid now, too!  
**Parse:** I thought you were on the snap story! Next time I will check.  
**Hooks:** There will not be a next time.  
**Davy:** Yeah. I’ve missed this too. I haven’t even met this kid Parse adopted. I’m curious what made Parse finally adopt someone.  
**Reaper:** He lives with me. He’s exactly like someone you’d expect Parse to adopt. I tried bc I knew Parse would spoil him rotten. Parse pulled rank. He is spoiled so rotten that he openly hates Parse’s boyfriend and gets away with it.  
**Hooks:** I met him when we played them. He’s adorable. And totally spoiled.  
**Rusher:** Sometimes Swoops puts him in line.  
**Reaper:** Yeah. He’s quiet and being good right now because Swoops just picked him up and took him to stay with him.  
**Matty:** And why was that? Oh right, bc you’ve been having such loud sex all the time he can’t sleep without blasting music.  
**Reaper:** Why should I be ashamed about that exactly?  
**Matty:** That’s also why Parse probably disappeared. Sorry. That happened in the dinner chat even though I told them it should be in here at least.  
**Mills:** Ugh. Shut up. Let me live in the world where Parse never has sex. : (  
**Mills:** And stop telling people I don’t know that I’m a brat. Parse’s bf is a douche but I’ve still agreed to be nice to him tomorrow night. You have no idea how hard that is going to be.  
**Swoops:** Go to bed. Turn off your music. It’s like having Parse back in his room.  
**Swoops:** You also promised to stop calling him a douche tonight if I let you come over. Do you want to go back to the sex house? I will put you in the car and take you back to the sex house.  
**Mills:** Yes, GRANDPA.  
**Reaper:** He really is a good kid and he’s mostly easy to live with. But I don’t mind at all when Swoops takes over either. Lol. He listens to Parse too, but Parse mostly lets him do whatever. He’s a brat to Parse more than anyone really. I swear he de-ages the second Parse enters a room.  
**Davy:** Got an invite to dinner tomorrow before Parse disappeared. Can’t wait to see this dynamic in person.  
**Reaper:** Will be good to see you. And now I have things to do….

***

Parse ends up texting Davy and explaining about the dinner and asking him to come too. It’s been too long since Parse has seen him. It’s different than Jeff, but once he invites Davy a part of him relaxes. He never feels like he has to be perfect and in charge when Davy is around. And Mills has never met him. Mills was only fourteen when Davy retired. Maybe he’ll be more likely to behave with Davy around. _Reaper_ might be more likely to be nice with both Davy and his wife around.

He texts Jeff after he wakes up and reads the rest of the group chat from last night. 

**Parse:** Is Mills ok?  
**Swoops:** Yes. He’s totally fine.  
**Parse:** You bitched at him in group chat. In front of the other guys.  
**Swoops:** You’re way too over-protective. I was standing at the door to your room looking at him when I told him I was going to do it. He thought it was funny. He was in a mood where he liked the attention.  
**Parse:** And he’s fine this morning?

Jeff sends him a picture of Mills sitting at the breakfast bar with a bowl of cereal and smiling for the camera.

 **Swoops:** He’s fine. He’s eating lucky charms so he’ll be bouncing off the walls at training. Are you going to be this annoying when I babysit your real kids? I kept you from dying. I don’t know why you worry.

***

As usual, Swoops is right. Mills is in a good mood during training. He doesn’t make a negative comment about Alexei once. By the time they drop him off at Reaper’s house, his sugar high is starting to wear off and he’s looking ready for a nap. He’s bulked up a lot since Kent met him at the beginning of the season, but sometimes he’s still such a kid that Kent has to resist bitching at Jeff for letting him eat Lucky Charms for breakfast. Kent wonders if that’s how Reaper sees him when Reaper gets annoyingly over-protective and forgets Kent isn’t a rookie anymore.

“Stop it. He’s fine. Eating trash every once in a while isn’t going to hurt him anymore than it hurt you. He had a protein shake,” Jeff says. “I’m going to tell the main chat how ridiculous you’re being.”

Kent shrugs. He’s used to chirps about how much he babies Mills at this point.

“He’s really happy you’ve been so honest with him this week,” Jeff says. “He wasn’t mad about staying with me instead of you at all.”

“You think that’ll help make him like Alexei more?”

“I think it will at least mean he behaves tonight. He’s glad he has the chance to support you, and he doesn’t want to mess it up.”

“And he knows Reaper is going to freak out for him anyway?”

“Probably,” Jeff says. “But he’ll support you. How’re you feeling about everything? You want me to come over half an hour early?”

“Yeah. You can tell me if I look stupid, and it’s too much for everyone else.”

“I can tell you that every single person you invited is not going to have an issue. Nothing’s going to be too much.”

“That’s not helpful,” Kent says.

“Parse, every single one of these people has been waiting for you to let them in. In a few cases, they’ve been waiting for years. Reaper might not like Mashkov, but he’s still kind of sad he passed you off on me your rookie year. He’s going to be fine with you. Matty and Davy are too.”

“And you’re not going to get jealous?”

“I can remember there’s no contest.”

“And if you forget, Mom will remind you?”

“Something like that.”

***

He orders the food because everyone knows he can’t cook and worrying about the food would just make more stress. The Aces are used to it anyway. Being captain means hosting the team at his house. He’s got a pool and a hot tub and a lot of space. If he has everything catered, no one judges him.

He takes his tablet into his closet with Bitty on Skype so he can get an opinion. The goal is to feel like himself without going so all out that he’s self-conscious about it. It’s summer and they’re eating outside, so that’s an excuse to tone it down anyway. Bitty’s style is obviously different than his, but he gets the idea. And Kent knows how many times Bitty has changed before going to big events with Jack. This isn’t really a big event, and it’s in the privacy of his house, but Kent feels like it’s big. Alexei takes over dealing with the food and setting up the table to eat outside. There’s not much to do, but it gives Kent space to talk to Bitty alone. Bitty chats with him through three outfit changes, giving him opinions only when he asks and distracting him enough that he doesn’t freak out and cancel the whole thing.

“It’s good. Different enough to make your point. Tame enough that you won’t spend all night stressed out about it,” Bitty says when they finally settle on an outfit. “Jack’s home. You should let him see.”

It’s too convenient for it to just be good timing, but they both pretend it is. Either way, it helps to hear Jack say he looks good and reassure him that everything will be fine. Alexei kisses him and calls him gorgeous when he goes downstairs. At this point, Alexei’s reaction is a given, but it’s still calming.

Jeff shows up an hour before everyone else even though Kent told him to only come half an hour early. It relaxes Kent to laugh at him. No matter what happens and how calm Jeff tries to act, he always worries more about Kent more than Kent worries about himself. Jeff doesn’t even react to his outfit. Probably because he lived with Kent for three years and at least some of that time, Kent got lazy about putting up an act around the apartment. Plus, even if Kent dressed his part out of habit, Jeff still saw his room when there were two Britney Spears posters up at once.

Davy and his wife Lindsey show up first. They show up a full twenty minutes early, and it’s so unlike Davy that Kent suspects Jeff texted him and planned it. Davy’s been someone stable and accepting to Kent since Kent stopped being intimidated by him. He welcomed all the scared and unsure texts Kent sent him his first year as captain. He kept his promise and was in the stands Kent’s fourth year when he won the cup as captain for the first time. Tonight, he looks at Kent, smiles, nods and then pulls him into a tight hug. Then he turns to Alexei to introduce himself. They met on the ice Alexei’s rookie year and Davy’s final year, but it wasn’t memorable.

“I give everyone a chance,” Davy says. “But if you fuck this up, you have no idea how many hockey players you’ll have coming after you.”

Alexei nods while Kent groans.

“I’m twenty-four. Stop. This is like the fourth shovel talk he’s gotten.”

Davy laughs.

“And he hasn’t met Reaper yet.”

“Technically, they’ve met,” Jeff says.

“And they haven’t met on the ice since that fight,” Davy says and turns back to Alexei. “He’s still waiting for a chance to punch your face in specifically. Do we have an ice pack ready for this dinner?”

“He’s not going to punch him tonight. Seriously. I told him a long time ago that we’re friends now,” Kent says.

“Is okay. Was stupid fight,” Alexei says. “Expected him to hit next time we play at least. I know his game. He always remember.”

“Yeah, well, now you’re my boyfriend so he’s going to need a better reason than a fight from months ago to attack you.”

Alexei shrugs like it’s not a big deal.

“How does this not bother you?” Kent asks.

“Is a bit annoying that everyone threaten me, yes, but I’m across the country most of the time. If they watch out for you now, then they also watch out for you when I can’t. Someone hit you on ice, I know he handle it. Is worth it.”

“Aww. That’s kind of adorable,” Lindsey says.

“I’m not breakable,” Kent says, but he’s sure they all know it’s only because he has to. In a few days, he might be annoyed, but right now when he feels vulnerable, everyone knows why he invited all the people most likely to be over-protective of him.

“Maybe it’s better to give him a little warning,” Lindsey says when the doorbell rings again. She pulls Alexei with her into the kitchen to get the food ready to go outside.

Mills smiles when he comes in and says, “See, this is so much more you. I knew you weren’t that boring.”

Kent laughs and pulls him into a hug. Mills only complains a little when Kent gets him in a headlock for a second.

“You’re surprising no one who’s known you this long, but it’s good to see you stop,” Reaper says. He pulls Kent in for a quick hug before asking, “So where’s the boyfriend? Are you hiding the boyfriend from me specifically? Because Mills seems to think I’ll agree with him that the guy’s an asshole. I think that’s the only reason he agreed to behave tonight.”

“No hitting my boyfriend in my house,” Kent says. Then because he realizes that Lindsey and Alexei have probably taken the food outside already, he adds, “My backyard and my pool and the hot tub are also part of my house.”

Reaper turns from him and looks at Jeff.

“What the fuck? Why are you letting him date someone that I’m going to want to punch on sight?”

“Hey. Come on,” Jeff says. “You know I wouldn’t do that if I hadn’t already given the guy a lot of warnings. Seriously. I gave him so much shit that Parse tossed me in the pool.”

“You deserved it,” Kent interrupts.

“And I decided he’s okay. He messed up before they really knew each other, but he’s been good since they started dating.”

Reaper doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Kent can tell he’s running through options in his head when the doorbell tells them Matty is finally here. Davy goes to get the door. They come back just as Reaper figures it out.

“You’re dating Mashkov?” Reaper asks then turns to Jeff again. “You’re letting him date Mashkov? Mashkov fought him.”

“Okay. First, that was the saddest excuse of a fight ever. It was before we even had a conversation. And I’d hit his goalie twice. You would’ve done the same thing. You probably would’ve done worse,” Kent says. “Second, I can date whoever I want. There’s no letting me date anyone.”

“He’s a fucking asshole. He’s not good enough for you.”

“Do you want to go home? I’m not listening to you be an asshole while I eat.”

Reaper looks like he’s going to argue, but TyKesha puts her hand on his arm. Kent loves TyKesha.

“Fine. I’m not pretending to like him though.”

Mills laughs because he’s a brat. Kent glares at him until he stops and nods him toward Jeff.

“Can you guys give us a second?”

Mills rolls his eyes, but he lets Jeff pull him into the kitchen.

“Wow. Mashkov. Really?” Matty says when they’re gone, and Reaper and Kent are just glaring. “Because we both totally thought you were back with Zimmermann. We just weren’t going to tell Mills that in case he hadn’t figured that out, and we were wrong.”

Kent groans.

“I’m not going to confirm I was ever with Zimms.”

“Yeah, okay,” Reaper says. “I was going to be against that too for the record, but at least he’s never hit you that we know of.”

“Alexei has fought me once on the ice. Once. The first time he just picked me up and threatened me. And it was all before anything happened,” Kent says. “And while I’m not confirming we’ve ever been more than friends, Zimms has never hit me.”

“Mashkov shouldn’t’ve hit you then.”

“Because you really wouldn’t hit someone who rammed into Cenzar twice? Or because you’re still beating yourself up that Fitzgerald held you back, and you didn’t get to me that time?”

“I’m punching both him and Fitzgerald next time we play the Falcs.”

“No, you aren’t. And I was fine. If it had turned into a real fight, Zimms would’ve pulled his own teammate off me. _Thirdy_ pulled him off me because he’s friends with Swoops.”

“Because that makes me feel better.”

Kent rolls his eyes and walks over to put his hand on Reaper’s shoulder. Reaper is five years older than him and five inches taller. It’s still hard to act as his captain after four years. It’s even harder than it is with Jeff.

“I’m captain of a professional hockey team. I’m going to get hit sometimes. I’ve played six years. And I’ve played all those six years without getting seriously injured in a fight. That’s mostly because of you. Stop beating yourself up because you didn’t get there one time. It happens. I’m fine.”

Reaper shrugs him off but he’s calmer when he says, “I still don’t like him. Or Zimmermann, because this is clearly his fault somehow.”

“Just try to make it possible to have some kind of peace at dinner?”

“Yeah, yeah. Now I know why you were so enthusiastic about TyKesha coming with me.”

“I also love Ty. But yeah,” Kent admits as they turn to go outside through the kitchen. Mills and Jeff are already outside.

“In case you were wondering, it’s your job to be my one normal friend,” Kent tells Matty.

“That’s always my job.”

Reaper walks up to Alexei as soon as they get outside. When Alexei stands, he’s still taller than Reaper, but Reaper is bulkier.

“If you _ever_ lay a hand on him again, I will knock out every single one of your teeth.”

“I understand. Will not happen,” Alexei says.

Reaper nods and steps away to sit down before Kent can tell him to knock it off.

“Jordan Matthews,” Matty says and offers his hand for Alexei to shake. “I’m not going to threaten you. I mostly let Parse do what he wants without complaining. Our friendship is unique that way.”

***

“I hate all my friends,” Kent says after everyone has left except Jeff, who is helping him clean up. “Except Matty. Matty can stay.”

“You have good friends,” Alexei says.

“I really wish I could tell you the threats are done,” Kent says. “But there will probably be a few more. I want to go back and tell my younger self to do something different so all my friends won’t over-protective assholes.”

“Pretty sure your seventeen-year-old self would be happy to hear it and call you an ungrateful asshole,” Jeff says.

“Yeah. Okay. That’s fair,” Kent admits. “But you should go home because I definitely owe him a blowjob or something.”

“One, I don’t need to know that. Two, you don’t owe him shit.”

“Yeah, yeah, I don’t need a speech. Get out because I _want_ to give him a blow job.”

***

 **Reaper:** I agree with Mills. The bf is an asshole.  
**Mills:** \o/  
**Hammer:** WHAT?!  
**Hooks:** WHOA.  
**Cupid:** Seriously?  
**Cenzar:** Should we be concerned?  
**Penny:** Damn.  
**Becker:** Harsh  
**Tucan:** Wow.  
**Burner:** Do we owe Mills an apology for calling him a spoiled brat?  
**Rusher:** But Swoops likes him?  
**Matty:** He’s not that bad. Reaper’s being over-protective.  
**Reaper:** I didn’t like him before he was Parse’s bf. I really don’t like him now.  
**Rusher:** You know him before?  
**Matty:** Seriously, Reaper?  
**Reaper:** Shit. Sorry. Ugh. Guys. Please forget I said that. Don’t guess. You’re all going to guess the wrong person anyway.  
**Hooks:** …well, that makes me feel better. I hated my guess.  
**Davy:** He seems like he really cares about Parse and I liked him fine. He’s also won Swoops over. No one needs to listen to Reaper and start some kind of intervention.  
**Reaper:** I forgot how old and boring you always were on team chats.  
**Davy:** I’m trying to help preserve your friendship with Parse.  
**Hammer:** Are you and Parse actually fighting now? :(  
**Cupid:** : ‘( :’(  
**Cenzar:** :’(  
**Reaper:** Calm down. Parse and I have a fight about me being over-protective every six months.  
**Matty:** True. Since before Parse was captain. And then he wanted Reaper as alternate anyway.  
**Reaper:** And still does. Even if I think his taste in guys is awful.  
**Matty:** You ARE being over-protective.  
**Mills:** It’s valid.  
**Hooks:** Where’s Parse and Swoops? I don’t know who to believe.  
**Davy:** Swoops was still there when we left. They probably haven’t checked their phones.  
**Mills:** Well, I feel better now that Reaper knows. Me threatening him wasn’t going to be as good. : D  
**Matty:** You’re the worst. Both of you.  
**Mills:** Reaper told him if he hurt Parse, he’d knock out every single one of his teeth. : D  
**Reaper:** It’s not actually a threat if it’s just a fact.  
**Mills:** : D  
**Rusher:** You are mean. Parse put you up for adoption and give you to Reaper.  
**Mills:** :’( He wouldn’t.  
**Swoops:** He won’t. You know that. And you were doing so good until I read this chat.  
**Mills:** I promised to be good at dinner. That was it.  
**Swoops:** For the record, I also was not sure about him when Parse first started seeing him. I threatened him a long time ago. I think I actually threatened to let Reaper at him bc I knew Reaper would want me to.  
**Swoops:** But it’s been almost six months now and I’ve gotten to know him a lot. He’s been good to Parse and good for Parse. Do you guys really think I just decided he was fine out of no where?  
**Reaper:** I still don’t like him.  
**Mills:** Me either.  
**Rusher:** Parse still not look at phone?  
**Swoops:** Mills doesn’t want to know why. Though I should tell him bc Parse told me and I didn’t want to know either.  
**Mills:** EWW. Stop.  
**Hooks:** haha. Get it Parse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story notes first:  
> Kent says he's 24 in this. Obviously, this is younger than in the comic. This is because I had Jack start college at 19 instead of 23. I considered just hand waving the missing years, but that annoyed me. So either we can hand wave that everyone kind of time-traveled a bit or we can just say that the draft happened later and now they just finished the 2016 season or what not. (Yes, this does mean that I skipped talking about the Pulse shooting. There's another fic that did it really well and I decided not to revisit.) It’s possible Ngozi thought if Jack was younger then should've had to do the draft again. I assume this is why Ngozi made him older. But going to college changes that so it’s all that so it’s pointless. lol. So he only waited one year in my verse.
> 
> Personal notes/Timeline for Updates: So wow I failed at my normal update schedule and I'm sorry. My work schedule changed, I got a wisdom tooth out and then my beta had to catch up with me. Currently everything has been edited though Chapter 13. Chapter 14 is something I'm going to figure out after this is posted. Basically I finished editing and then decided I hated the ending. So I'm either going to rewrite one of the future extra scenes or write a whole new ending. More series updates will be in the next chapter which should be up fairly soon.
> 
> Shout out to the person who left me really amazing comments on this whole series last week. It really helped motivate me to get this edited when I wasn't feeling like doing it. I promise I will catch up and reply to your comments soon. And everyone else's comments too. I appreciate all comments of course, but these came at a time I really needed them! :)


	12. Chapter 12

Kent refuses to look at any of his texts until he’s had plenty of time to cuddle Alexei and then gotten half-way through his coffee. He reads the group chat first and decides to leave it. Swoops said everything he would’ve said anyway. He has another text from Reaper apologizing for slipping that he’d met Alexei before the previous night. Kent tells him it’s fine. It’s obvious now that half the team thought he was dating Zimms again, but they aren’t going to say anything. And it doesn’t mean it’s another hockey player. For all they know, he could be dating the social media guy who is always in their faces. Reaper doesn’t like that guy either. If he waited to find someone Reaper thought was good enough for him, he’d have to chance the drama of dating one of their teammates.

Alexei wraps his arms around Kent from behind as he comes in the kitchen. He leans down to kiss Kent’s neck before resting his chin on Kent’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to go train. I want to go back to bed,” Kent whines. “We’re skating. You should just come with us.”

“I would like,” Alexei says. “But I think Miller will like me better if he still have you to himself to train.”

“It’s not like Jeff isn’t still there.”

“Is not the same. You know that. Is okay. I Skype home while you gone. Be lying by the pool for you when you get home,” Alexei kisses him again and lets him go.

“Now I really don’t want to go.” Kent turns around and catches him at the waist before he gets too far. Alexei holds him and lets Kent cling until Kent’s ready to let go on his own.

“Is okay. Maybe next Thursday I just work out here and we don’t tell Zimmboni.”

“He’s going to know. He always knows.”

“I ask forgiveness later.” Alexei laughs like half the league isn’t scared as fuck of Jack and kisses Kent goodbye before leading him out the door.

Kent goes because he knows Alexei is right about Mills. And he does love Mills. It would just make his life easier if Mills would give Alexei a chance.

For once, they all drive to the rink separately. Mills is borrowing Reaper’s car so he can pick up his girlfriend from the airport after they train. Jenna finished with summer school Thursday, but she went to see her parents first. It’s good timing. It’ll be easier to take time with Alexei when she’s in town to occupy Mills. Kent planned Alexei’s original visit that way on purpose, so he wasn’t that surprised at Mills’ initial reaction when Alexei showed up a few days ahead of the visit Kent had warned him about.

Jeff and Mills are already on the ice when he gets there. Jeff skates over to the edge while Kent is still putting on his skates.

“Mills is worried you’re mad about the group chat because you didn’t answer.”

“I didn’t answer because it seemed better just to leave it at what you said. Obviously, I wish they liked him, but I’m not mad,” Kent says.

“I didn’t think so. Just letting you know so you can handle it.”

Kent nods. When he gets on the ice, he skates over to where Mills is stretching and palms his helmet.

“I’m not mad. I’m hoping you’ll get to know him and like him, but I’m not going to ask you to lie about it,” Kent says. “Just keep it clear that it’s your opinion and not anything he’s done to you.”

Mills nods.

“He’s actually trying, you know?” Kent tells him. “He could be a dick and say you’re not really my family and not care if you like him, but he’s not. He didn’t come skate with us because he understood you’d want some time without him.”

“Would you still like him if he said that?”

“No. Because then he’d be a dick. But that doesn’t mean _you_ should be a dick and take advantage.”

“I was nice to him last night!”

“I know. Thanks. It meant a lot to me, okay? I’m not mad. I’m just saying. Keep it in the line you’re in now. Okay?”

Mills nods. Kent smiles and gives his helmet a shake before skating away to warm up.

Kent and Jeff take turns running drills until the last bit of training. Then they goof off trying to make trick shots until Mills’ alarm goes off to remind him it’s time to go pick up Jenna. He runs off to the showers and is out and waving goodbye before Kent and Jeff even get to the locker room.

“Feeling left out?” Kent asks with a laugh as Mills runs away.

“Please. I am resting tonight and taking Krystle out tomorrow since you guys are both occupied,” Jeff says.

***

 **Rusher:** Mills bitch about Parse’s man then put up 4 pics on Instagram before his girl’s plane even gets here.  
**Hammer:** Seriously.  
**Mills:** It’s been 2 months! :(  
**Hammer:** lol. Did you buy 5 boxes of condoms?  
**Mills:** I would have if *some people* would stop thinking I can’t.  
**Reaper:** There are already 2 young kids plus you in the house. Just making sure.  
**Swoops:** I don’t want great-grandkids yet.  
**Mills:** Ugh. Do you do this to Parse?  
**Swoops:** Not since he was 21.  
**Mills:** So you’ll all stop when I’m 21?  
**Hammer:** Haha. Parse got you condoms too?  
**Mills:** Yes. I didn’t buy my own bc I already have three new boxes thanks to these jerks.  
**Swoops:** Maybe I’ll stop.  
**Parse:** Probably not. Literally the first time I hooked up w/ my bf, I had to tell Swoops I used a condom.  
**Swoops:** Uh huh. Leaving out that there were circumstances.  
**Parse:** You like him now!  
**Reaper:** Ugh. I know neither of you can get pregnant but you damn well better be safe with him.  
**Davy:** I’m sure he knows to be responsible. And he’s doing that.  
**Hooks:** …I want to learn all my passive aggressive parenting from Davy. Sounds nice. Means the same thing.  
**Parse:** I hate all of you. Matty is my only real friend.  
**Rusher:** Swoops going to be lonely for a week.  
**Reaper:** Swoops has conveniently left out that he has a girl.  
**Hammer:** WHAT?!  
**Hooks:** Swoops has an actual girlfriend???  
**Rusher:** Why no one tell us??? Parse? Mills?  
**Matty:** Bc you’re jerks. I knew. Parse told me.  
**Swoops:** She’s not my girlfriend.  
**Reaper:** Yet.  
**Swoops:** Mills? You told, didn’t you?  
**Mills:** I didn’t know it was a secret! I only told Cupid. Cupid can keep his mouth shut. :(  
**Reaper:** No one told me. I know you. I can tell when you’re dating someone. When do I meet her? I don’t trust your taste anymore.  
**Swoops:** Parse and Mills haven’t even met her. My moms haven’t met her.  
**Mills:** Except technically hasn’t Reaper met her?  
**Swoops:** Seriously. Mills.  
**Mills:** Gotta go. Jenna’s plane landed. :)  
**Swoops:** Convenient timing. Reaper, your wife set me up with her so you can trust her judgement.  
**Hooks:** I love Ty, but she married Reaper, so…  
**Reaper:** Shut up.  
**Rusher:** Parse, you think you like her?  
**Swoops:** He’s busy now when I need him.  
**Hooks:** Maybe we all need to buy Parse condoms.  
**Rusher:** Think so. Always gone since boyfriend got here.  
**Hammer:** At least he’ll have good endurance when the season starts?

***

“I’m going to have to shock the water tomorrow before any of the guys come over again. They’d never stop chirping me if they find out about this,” Kent says. He snuggles closer to Alexei until Alexei tightens his arms to hold Kent in place. The downside to the hot tub is that he keeps floating away from Alexei’s lap.

“Is worth it?” Alexei asks. One his hands massages the back of Kent’s neck, and Kent melts into it.

“So worth it,” Kent mumbles against his neck.

They stay there, nuzzling and exchanging lazy kisses until Kent realizes how hungry he is. Apparently, they’ve worked off lunch already.

They’ve eaten and napped for an hour when Kent’s phone rings.

“It’s on Do Not Disturb,” Kent explains. “It has to be someone on my favorites list.”

And most of those people would text him if it wasn’t an emergency. When he sees it’s Jeff, he pulls the phone off the charger. Jeff shouldn’t be calling. He knows what Kent’s plans for the rest of day were.

“What’s wrong?” Kent says as soon as he answers.

“Jenna broke up with Mills,” Jeff says. “Reaper called me because Mills promised not to bother you and Mashkov today, and when he texted me, he didn’t tell me what was wrong and I said I was on the phone with Krystle and I’d call him back. He’s convinced himself that we wouldn’t want to be bothered when something’s really wrong.”

“Why didn’t Reaper call me?”

“He was going to, but when he told Mills, Mills got more upset and said you’d be mad because he’d specifically promised to let you be with Mashkov tonight. Reaper knew you’d want to know, but it was easier to just tell Mills he was calling me instead.”

“He should know this is different.”

“Stop. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to make him think he couldn’t call you. He’s upset that Jenna broke up with him, and it’s making him think stupid things. I’m closer so I’m going to get him and bring him over. I just figured I should give you time to get clothes on and warn Mashkov.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

They have time for a quick shower before they get dressed. Alexei insists on wearing jeans even though Kent reminds him that Mills does know they have sex and sleep in the same bed. Kent throws on underwear, a t-shirt and basketball shorts.

Kent meets them at the door while Alexei hangs back in the kitchen with Kit. Mills hesitates at the door, but when Kent pulls him forward, he goes easily and starts crying as soon as Kent has him wrapped in a hug. Mills and Jenna have been together three years—since before Kent knew him, so Kent’s not surprised Mills is taking this hard. Jenna’s the only person Mills knew before he came to Vegas who Mills talks to on a regular basis.

Kent holds him and rubs his back. Eventually Jeff wraps his arms around both of them from the side. 

“I’m sorry,” Mills says when his sobs slow.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I thought you knew something like this is a good reason to interrupt me. If Reaper hadn’t called Jeff to call me, I’d’ve been so pissed at him.”

“I’m ruining your night.”

Kent wants to tell him that, no, Jenna is ruining all of their nights, but he knows that’s the wrong thing to say.

“It’s not like that. When you’re hurting this much and you want my support, I want you to come to me. Okay? I’m never going to not mean that. I’m never going to think of it as you ruining my night.”

Jeff squeezes Kent’s shoulder as he says it. Jeff’s said the same thing to him so many times, but Kent’s never totally believed it until now. Because Kent knows _he_ means it now.

“Mashkov’s going to hate me. I’m ruining his night, too,” Mills says.

“He’s not,” Kent says. “He doesn’t. I wouldn’t love anyone who hates you because you want to come over when you’re upset.”

Mills shrugs. Kent’s not sure what to do with that. He knows it means Mills doesn’t believe him, but Kent’s also not sure exactly what he’s upset about. He’s never seemed to care if Alexei likes him or not.

“I mean, I’m not kicking him out and you don’t get to be mean to him just because you’re upset, but I’m not kicking you out either, okay?”

Mills nods and backs up enough that Kent leads him over to the couch.

“He doesn’t hate you. Do you want him to tell you he doesn’t hate you? Because I don’t even need to ask him. Jeff called, and Alexei didn’t argue about you coming over at all.”  
Mills shrugs again and leans into him.

“You’re sleeping here tonight, okay? You can sleep in Jeff’s room. It has a bigger bed. You know Jeff’s never had sex in it and one of us will stay with you if you want.”

“Jeff can if he wants. You don’t have to,” Mills says.

“Is okay if Kent stay with you. I don’t mind.”

Kent looks up to see Jeff’s brought Alexei in from the kitchen. He’s still holding Kit, but when Mills doesn’t answer, he offers Kit to Mills. Mills takes her and lets her cuddle close to his chest. He looks down at her even as Alexei kneels in front of him.

“Is okay if you don’t like me,” Alexei says, “But Jeff say you worried that I not like you just because you want Kent when you hurt. Is okay. I know you important to Kent. Family we make is very important.”

Mills nods into Kit’s fur.

“I give you space now. No need to worry about me, okay?” Alexei stands when Mills nods again and looks at Kent. “Need anything? Ice cream? Cake? I can go get. Pie? Do you know his favorite pie? B will want to send.”

“Rocky road ice cream and blueberry pie,” Kent says.

“Ah. Blueberry my favorite too. I tell B to send two.”

“He’ll end up sending four,” Jeff says after Alexei leaves.

“Why is he so hard to hate?” Mills groans as he leans into Kent but looks at Jeff. “Was that even real?”

Jeff laughs.

“Yeah, I failed too, kid.”

“You want to talk about it?” Kent asks because it doesn’t seem fair to push him about giving Alexei a chance right now.

“I probably should’ve known,” Mills says.

Kent exchanges a look with Jeff who shrugs.

“You haven’t said anything about having problems,” Kent says.

“I didn’t want to. I wanted her to get here and everything would be fine. I wanted to think she really was just really busy with college. I wanted it to all be in my head that she wasn’t into it anymore.”

“Is that what she said?” Kent asks.

“She said we weren’t in the same place anymore. When I was in juniors, we at least went to the same high school. Now she’s at Michigan and I’m in Vegas. I’m traveling most of the year, and I guess she feels bad that she can’t go to most of my games. She just wants to be a normal college student, but she’s dating me, so she had to lock down all her social media accounts. She doesn’t want to be a hockey girlfriend, and she thinks I should have someone who can handle it better.”

“What do you think?” Kent asks.

“I think we’ve been together three years, so I thought it was worth it to keep trying. I love her. I don’t cheat on her on roadies like some guys do or anything.”

“Did you tell her that?” Jeff asks.

“Yeah, but she says it’s still not what she wants. She loves me, but she’s not sure she’s in love with me anymore.” Mills starts crying again when he says it, and Kent holds him through it.

“She seriously flew all the way over here just to break up with you?”

“She wanted to do it in person. She thought she owed me that. She’s flying home tomorrow. She already had a hotel booked tonight.”

“Do you want me to hate her or say that at least she tried to be nice about it?”

“I don’t even hate her,” Mills says. “It just sucks.”

“Yeah,” Kent agrees.

“Ugh. This sucks. How long does this suck? Can we stop pretending Jack Zimmermann isn’t your ex from high school for five minutes so you can tell me how long this is going to suck?”

Kent’s going to have to tell Jack that he confirmed it, but he’s sure at this point Jack won’t care about Mills.

“I’m the worst example because you know there was other mess involved. But once we finally talked about it, it got easier. And eventually he gave Alexei my number, so I can’t be too mad about how it turned out now.”

“Ugh. So, I can still hate him. Because that’s obviously you trying to not admit he was a total douchebag about it.”

Jeff laughs.

“It was complicated,” Kent says because he can’t deny that even if Zimms had fair reasons, he _was_ a douche about it. He technically never even broke up with Kent. His dad did it for him.

“Yeah. Whatever. I still don’t like him. Reaper’s right.”

“Does that mean you’re going to give Alexei a chance?”

“I don’t know right now.”

“You don’t have to,” Kent says. He looks at his phone when it lights up with a text. “But he says our friend who bakes is sending us pies. And he’s buying you so much junk food it’s ridiculous. I’m going to have to object to this much junk in a few days. I’m never going to live it down if you come back to training out of shape.”

“Your pie friend is Zimmermann’s boyfriend isn’t it?”

“Mills.”

“Okay. Sorry. Yeah I know. Sorry. He’s Zimmermann’s friend from college who likes to make pies, isn’t he? How are you friends with him if they’re _friends_?”

“Zimms is my friend. We worked it out.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“It’s not like it was Bitty’s fault. And I love Alexei,” Kent says.

“And you don’t have to like him to like the pies. Just take the pie,” Jeff says.

Mills nods.

“I have to ask. Does everyone else think he’s with Zimms? Should he worry?”

“Just me. Maybe Reaper, but maybe not. The rest of the guys can’t keep track of all Zimmermann’s friends from college to notice he stands out. They think you’re friends with him because he’s gay. And that Zimmermann is trying to be straight and date that girl who’s good at beer pong. Or they think you got back together, and he’s your secret boyfriend. Or they thought that before. Then Reaper said that thing that they’d guess wrong anyway and now they aren’t sure who you’re dating because Reaper knew that was everyone’s guess.”

“Seriously? They honestly think after six years I just took him back?”

“Some of them think Bittle is your secret boyfriend now.”

“My friends are all awful.”

***

Mills insists on watching random crap on TV because he doesn’t want to ruin his favorite movies by making them movies that he watched after Jenna broke up with him. When Alexei gets home with a ridiculous amount of comfort food, he offers to go to the bedroom, and Mills invites him to stay. Alexei sits on the floor and leans against Kent’s legs until Mills is starting to fall asleep. Kent wakes him up enough to get him to get off the couch and follow Jeff upstairs.

“Is okay. I’ll clean up mess,” Alexei says when Kent offers to help. “You take care of the kid.”

“Swoops has him. He’s way better at getting crying people to go bed than me.”

“Maybe. But he want you. Is okay.”

Kent kisses him.

“Thank you. I love you,” Kent says. How could he not at this point?

“I love you. You take care of your family. I be okay one night.” Alexei kisses him, and Kent lets it linger for a minute before he leaves to go upstairs.

He finds Jeff and Mills in Jeff’s room. His house is too big because even though he’s not sure he’ll ever be stable and out enough to billet a rookie full time, he wanted to have more than enough space for Jeff and their moms to stay. Mills claimed a specific room months ago, but it has a queen bed and the nicer guest suite has a king because hockey players are giant and while Kent has mostly grown out of climbing into Jeff’s bed when he’s upset, he’s given up the idea that it’s ever going to stop completely.

When he comes in, Mills is already in bed and Jeff is sitting on the other side.

“Are you staying?” Jeff asks when Kent comes in.

“Yeah,” Kent says.

“I told you,” Jeff says to Mills. He rubs his hand over Mill’s buzz cut and gets up.

“I’ll crash in your room for the night,” Jeff tells Mills. “But don’t get used it. This is still my room.”

“I don’t really need a babysitter,” Mills says when Jeff leaves. “You can sleep with your boyfriend. He’s barely ever here, and it’ll be worse in the season. I know how much that sucks.”

“I know,” Kent says. “But unless you want me to leave, I’d rather stay. He’s okay with it and I’ll just stay up and worry about you if I’m not here.”

“Yeah, okay,” Mills agrees.

Kent turns off the light and climbs in next to him.

“Jeff said he slept in your bed so much the year after you broke up with Zimmermann that he just bought you a king bed so you’d have more space. Is he lying to make me feel better about wanting you to stay?”

“Are you going to keep this secret and not tell the team?”

“I keep the real secrets. Jeff’s girlfriend was not a secret. I haven’t told anyone who your boyfriend is. And I haven’t told anyone except you two that I figured out Zimmermann is dating Bittle. I don’t even know them.”

“It’s true. I had a really hard time. He was being generous. It was two years at least. And it was still probably once a month the third year. And then last year sucked for a few months and he was over here a lot for about three months.”

“Is that why you still room with him on roadies?”

“Yeah. And sometimes my nightmares are bad. He’s already used to me waking him up.”

“Okay.”

Mills turns over. He starts crying again for a few minutes before he falls asleep and Kent rubs his back the way Jeff used to when he was upset.

***

 **Cupid:** Is Mills staying with you again tonight or going back to Reaper? Or did Jeff cancel his date?  
**Parse:** He’s staying with me tonight and Jeff tomorrow. And then I don’t know.  
**Swoops:** He keeps trying to tell us he’s fine and we should let him go home.  
**Parse:** He thinks my bf is going to get mad he’s here. He’s not.  
**Parse:** And we’re not letting Jeff cancel. He hasn’t gotten laid in so long, he probably doesn’t remember how to do it.  
**Swoops:** I wish you were grossed out by me having sex like Mills is. Why are you like this?  
**Parse:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**Cupid:** Haha. You raised him. It’s probably your fault.  
**Cupid:** Ok. Tell me if he goes home.  
**Parse:** So you can go crash?  
**Cupid:** Yep. Or he can come to my apt if Reaper’s sex noises get bad.  
**Parse:** You are both underage in Vegas. Don’t get him drunk. I’m telling everyone in the group chat not to buy for you right now.  
**Cupid:** Yeah, yeah. Ok.  
**Parse:** I’m serious.  
**Cupid:** OKAY.

***

“How are all the Falconer’s not totally fat?” Mills says. Kent is letting him eat his pie out of the pan because no matter what Cupid says, he’s not completely old and boring. Bitty sent four pies anyway so they don’t have to share. Though Jeff will probably share with Krystle. He’s getting a free excuse to take her upstairs and get laid. If he can’t get laid this time, Kent’s making fun of him forever.

“I don’t know. I keep hoping they’ll eat so much they’re slow next season,” Kent says even though he’s sure Jack will make them all run miles before that happens.

“Hey!” Alexei says, but there’s no heat in it.

“One day maybe you’ll beat us again, but we’re not going to make it easy,” Kent says. “Maybe if I get sick, you guys will have a chance.”

“I can’t wish you sick. Just have to train harder,” Alexei says.

“Reaper’s probably still going to try to hit you next time they play,” Mills says. At least he doesn’t sound like he wants it. It’s just a statement of fact.

“I know,” Alexei says at the same time Kent says, “He’s not. I know he’s saying that, but he’s not going to do it unless something happens in the play, and he has a reason. It’ll be a clean game if we can keep it that way.”

“It’s not like we try to start fights,” Mills says.

“Yeah. And I know something might happen. We all do. But no one is fighting because of a stupid fight that happened months ago.”

Mills shrugs. He’s been texting most of the night. It hasn’t been showing up on the group text so Kent assumes it’s Cupid. Cupid’s a good kid, and Kent knows they’re close for the same reason he and Matty are close. They’re the youngest guys on the team, and they were rookies together. Kent still wishes Cupid had stayed with Matty another year. It’s not fair, and he knows plenty of rookies don’t need as much support as he did. But it means Mills has a place he can be totally unsupervised now too. He thinks he must be wrong when his phone lights up with a text but it’s only Jeff.

 **Swoops:** How is Mills doing?  
**Kent:** He’s okay. Eating pie. Being mostly nice to Alexei.  
**Kent:** Stop texting on your date.  
**Swoops:** She’s in the bathroom.  
**Swoops:** I’m just checking so I don’t worry.  
**Kent:** Pay attention to your date!  
**Kent:** I actually like everything you say about her. Don’t mess this up!  
**Swoops:** Putting my phone away.  
**Swoops:** Krystle says hi. She’s not mad. She knew I was worried about Mills.

“Your grandpa has no game. I used to think it was my fault, but it’s not.”

“He was texting you?” Mills asks.

“He was worried about you. He also told Krystle he was worried about you. Probably because it was obvious.”

“You’re making me crash at your house and sleeping in the room with me the one week your boyfriend is here. It’s not just him. I’m not taking dating lessons from either of you even if I went from being the only one with a partner to being the only single one.”

“Yeah, but Alexei already loves me. I can take that risk now,” Kent says.

“Is not a risk. Is not a problem,” Alexei says. He leans over to kiss Kent’s temple after he says it. Kent looks at Mills, but Mills doesn’t react.

“And we made out while you were taking a shower,” Kent says just to get a reaction.

“Gross. Seriously. I’m with Swoops. Why are you like this?”

Mills phone lights up again and so does Kent’s so he knows it’s the group text. Reaper let everyone know about the break-up on a totally different text so they’ve all just followed Mills’ lead with how much he wants to talk about it. Cupid’s been running interference on any comments that accidentally upset Mills faster than Kent and Jeff have.

 **Hammer:** Mills, you’re hanging out with him so much now. Can’t you give us some Parse-approved clues about him. Just like, what’s he like? We don’t need to know who he is.  
**Reaper:** I know Parse said you have to be nice to stay with him but you’re bitching way less than I expected. It’s making me worry more.  
**Mills:** I’m fine. Parse is just making me stay here bc Swoops wanted to cancel his date.  
**Rusher:** Swoops take you home with him tomorrow?  
**Mills:** Yeah. For a few days and then I’ll just go home.  
**Cupid:** Or come crash with me when you want.  
**Mills:** I’ll come over at least a day. I promise. :)  
**Parse:** No drinking.  
**Mills:** Seriously. How long are you going to be like this?  
**Parse:** I don’t know. Until Swoops tells me I’m being over-protective probably.  
**Mills:** Swoops texted you to check on me during his date. That’s going to take forever. :(  
**Cenzar:** Swoops, no. I thought you liked this girl.  
**Parse:** He does. I told him to put his phone away and not fuck it up.  
**Hooks:** Davy’s going to start talking about how much we’ve grown up again if you don’t stop.  
**Hammer:** Continue. Davy has good stories.  
**Cenzar:** Parse, can you even talk? You are keeping Mills and texting us while your boyfriend is in town.  
**Parse:** Pretty sure I was getting chirped for having lots of sex and ignoring you guys a day ago.  
**Parse:** And he’s right next to me. We can’t fuck while Mills is here anyway so he doesn’t care if I’m texting. And he already loves me. Jeff needs to be better. Let her have higher expectations for a while.  
**Hammer:** Loves? Awww. Also, FINE. Definitely a FINE. We can make up a reason for the rest of the guys.  
**Parse:** You can’t fine in the off season.  
**Hammer:** Somehow I feel like you’ll earn it again.  
**Mills:** He will. So sure of it. They’re pretty gross. Very cuddly and kissing. If I see kissing with tongue, I’m going to tell this whole chat so you know about my pain.  
**Reaper:** And you haven’t killed the bf yet?  
**Mills:** …he’s maybe not actually that bad.  
**Mills:** Parse, ugh. Don’t tell him I said that.  
**Reaper:** WTF? No! Stay on my side! I house you! My wife feeds you! I have yet to trash your laundry when you sneak it in with ours!  
**Mills:** Parse just texted him that I said that. As if I don’t know who he’s texting and why. FINE. I don’t care if it’s off-season. You can’t text your boyfriend while he’s sitting next to you. And it was about me!  
**Parse:** : D :D  
**Mills:** I said he’s not that bad. I didn’t say I like him.  
**Reaper:** How did this happen? I should come take you back. Mason and Emily miss their older brother.  
**Parse:** I will give him back when I’m ready. : D

***

 **Swoops:** I hate all of you. I just read way too many texts. Why are you chirping me when I can’t defend myself?  
**Rusher:** It’s late morning. Swoops get laid!  
**Hammer:** DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!  
**Hooks:** YES!  
**Swoops:** Stop. Have some class, guys really.  
**Parse:** Is the next line don’t talk about your girlfriend like that? ; )  
**Swoops:** Maybe.  
**Cenzar:** To be fair. We were making fun of you. Not her.  
**Parse:** : D When do I get to meet her?  
**Swoops:** Whenever. I’m 100% sure she’s fine with you being gay and about 95% sure she’d never out you so it’s up to you how you want to deal with that.  
**Reaper:** That’s so adorable. You’re going to make her adopt Parse aren’t you?  
**Swoops:** I’m not at all the one you should be chirping about that.  
**Parse:** Shut up.  
**Swoops:** Parse’s bf has brought Mills ice cream. Multiple kinds. And cake and pie. And gone to get whatever he’s wanted for two days.  
**Parse:** He’s trying to help.  
**Swoops:** Yesterday, Mills said he wanted dinner from this place out in the burbs that won’t deliver. I don’t think he’s ever even been there. He was just seeing if it would work. And it did.  
**Reaper:** And now we understand what’s happened.  
**Parse:** He’s just being nice.  
**Swoops:** I was originally taking Mills home with me tonight so you could have some time with him. Now I’m taking Mills with me bc I’m afraid he’s going to get your bf to buy him a pony.  
**Mills:** ….ideas.  
**Parse:** I’m not letting him buy you a pony.  
**Mills:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random text exchange between Mills and Reaper that's too short for a deleted scene:
> 
>  **Mills:** Are Mason and Emily really upset that I'm gone? :(  
>  **Reaper:** They miss you of course, but I kind of explained it to them and they understand.  
>  **Reaper:** Don't feel guilty and come home before you really want to. You know we're happy to have you but we understand why you might want some space from having two little kids running around and wanting attention right now.  
>  **Mills:** I need to come get some stuff anyway. Maybe Swoops and I can come to dinner tomorrow. Will that help?  
>  **Reaper:** Sure. I will get Ty to make your favorites if you stay long enough to read to them before bed. Apparently I'm not good enough for bedtime reading anymore. Your voices are better. [eye roll emoji]  
>  **Mills:** Deal. :D
> 
> My own notes:  
> Two more chapters left in this one! There are a lot of scenes for _Gimme More_ that I need to sort and post. As for longer fics in the series, I thought this was the last one, but haha now it's not looking like that. After this there will be a short one that will serve to bridge this one and the next big one. There might be two. That really just depends if I decide the bridge story works as one or if it needs to be two separate fics.
> 
> Then I've started another big one. I thought it was just going to be some extra scenes in the future, but my brain had other plans. It will however be less relationship focused and more friendship focused. It will also focus more on Jack than Kent though parts are in Kent's point of view so I wouldn't say it's all about Jack. But no worries that I'm breaking anyone up. Kent is still with Tater. Jack is still with Bitty. Jeff continues to be a disaster at dating but thankfully Krystle thinks it's cute. Trust me? My beta seems to really like it so far.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not even sure if I need to add tags for this, but like, you read the tags at some point on this fic, right?

“There will be plenty of athletic activity. Like something resembling push-ups at least,” Kent says the next morning instead of letting Alexei get out of bed like he’s supposed to. In his defense, Alexei could throw him off if he really wanted to. Kent lying on top of him isn’t physically keeping him from getting up.

“What happened to plan of I train in the morning, and you sleep in?” Alexei says, but he tilts his neck to give Kent more access.

“Kit woke me up. And I decided I want all your athletic energy for myself,” Kent says. “And you’ve barely fucked me since you got here because I’ve been training so much.”

“So, you want me to be irresponsible because you be responsible?” Alexei flips them so he’s on top of Kent. He grabs Kent’s wandering hands pins them above his head. “You trying to make Aces win?”

“If we have enough sex, it’s really my rest day that we fuck up,” He pushes against Alexei and gets nowhere. That only makes it worse. Alexei tilts his head and hums. Then he shifts so he’s holding both of Kent’s wrists with _one_ hand and picks his up his phone. “Would have to consult my trainer and see if that’s acceptable.”

“Ask him. Seriously, I don’t even care if you also text Zimms and ask _him_ right now.” Kent’s still naked from the night before. They’d made enough of a mess that Alexei had made him shower, but they’d both only had the energy to stumble back to bed naked before they passed out. With Alexei on top of him and holding his hands down, he’d almost agree to throw a Stanley cup game right now.

Alexei puts the phone down and releases his hands. Kent whines because that’s the last thing he wants. Alexei shushes him and smooths his hand down Kent’s chest before climbing off him and lying next to him instead.

“Do not think you in state to make that decision right now,” Alexei says, rubbing circles with his thumb on Kent’s hip as he talks. “You calm down, then we talk and decide. You want to try new thing, yes? We decide only when your head can think.”

Kent whines because that’s literally the opposite of what he wants, but he takes a deep breath and tries to will down the erection that sprung up as soon as Alexei pinned down his wrists.

“If we talk about it, do you get to skip training?”

“Maybe. We see,” Alexei says. “You want to try something specific or we get list?”

Kent sighs. He knows this isn’t going to go bad. Alexei was equally interested in trying this, and he’s even done it before.

“I was thinking you could tie me up? If you still wanted.”

“I want. But we have safe words, yes?”

“Can we just do the green, yellow, red, thing?”

Alexei nods.

“Anything you know you don’t want?” Alexei asks.

“Just, um, the things I wrote.”

“No bad names,” Alexei says. “You like when I tell you when to come?”

“Yeah.”

“I skip training. I do all the work. Will be about the same.” Alexei pushes him on his back and climbs back on top of him. He runs his hands up Kent’s arms and lifts them so they’re pinned above his head again.

“You have something to use or we need to get creative?”

“There’s a box in the top drawer of my dresser.”

“No moving,” Alexei says, squeezing his hand tighter around Kent’s wrists for a second. He waits for Kent to nod before he gets up and goes to get the leather cuffs Kent bought online along with a bottle of lube and a condom. When he comes back, he lifts Kent’s right hand gently and tightens one cuff around his wrist. Then he loops the free cuff around a slat in the headboard before fastening the other cuff on his left wrist. Kent didn’t expect it to make feel different right away, but it does. He’s getting hard again immediately and for a second it’s hard to breathe.

“Котенок, color?”

“Green,” Kent gasps. “Green.”

“Good. Very good.”

Alexei kisses him, long and deep until Kent forgets he can breathe out his nose. He’s gasping for air just a bit when Alexei pulls away.

“So beautiful for me,” Alexei says. “My pace. You can beg if you want. I like noise you make, but it will not help. We stay at my pace. If too much, you use colors. Yes?”

Kent nods.

“Say out loud.”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Alexei feels down his neck and chest with his hands and lips. Kent arches into him reflexively when Alexei bites down on his nipple and his wrists strain against the cuffs. They hold tight and that brings another rush of emotion that travels though his chest and chokes his breath enough that Alexei looks up.

“Green. So green,” Kent gasps out before he has a chance to ask.

“Good. So good for me,” Alexei says before continuing his path down Kent’s body. He takes his time. Pausing to soothe Kent when he can tell Kent wants to beg. He pushes the sheets down and away, and slides down between Kent’s legs so he can nuzzle and nip at the crease where Kent’s leg meets his hip. His cheek bumps against Kent’s cock, and Kent tries to lift his hips, but Alexei has him pinned down with his hands on Kent’s hips and his arms over Kent’s legs so he can’t move at all. The realization of how trapped he is sends another rush though him. Kent gasps, and Alexei’s touch leaves him for just a second before he whines at the loss. Then Alexei is back. His hands roam over Kent’s sides and chest until he’s breathing again even if it’s heavy.

“Doing so good for me, Котенок. My sweet. So good.”

Alexei licks down the crease of his leg, then sits up to lift him and push a pillow under his hips. He pushes Kent’s legs up and leans down to lick at Kent’s hole just enough to drive him insane from the teasing.

“More. Please. More. Please. More,” Kent begs finally.

Alexei pulls away and Kent whimpers.

“Color?”

“Green,” Kent says because he wants more, but he doesn’t want control back at all.

Alexei’s tongue is back, but it’s the same. Never more. Only dipping inside enough to make him want more. Kent’s lost track of how long he’s been begging when Alexei rises up and moves to kneel between his legs. He lifts Kent’s legs to rest of over his broad shoulders and wraps one arm around one of Kent’s legs to hold him steady. If Kent could move more than a few inches, he’d be trying to push his ass back toward Alexei, but it’s pointless.

Alexei’s free hand teases down his leg, sweeps over his cock just long enough to make him moan and whine at the loss. Then his fingers are slipping between Kent’s ass cheeks to tease at his already sensitive hole.

“When I decide,” Alexei reminds him, pulling away his fingers when Kent tries to push onto them. He waits until Kent nods and lets him beg for a bit before Kent hears him pop the cap on the bottle of lube. The teasing is agony, but it’s worth it when Alexei finally presses a finger inside. Everything is more intense and heady than it ever has been before. It’s too much for him to keep forming the words to beg, and he just gasps for breath as Alexei opens him up. Alexei is up to two fingers before he curls them to find Kent’s prostate. Kent whimpers and gasps at the flash of pleasure. He doesn’t think he could lift his head up to look at Alexei if he tried so he just lies back and lets himself float on the sensations.

When Alexei’s fingers pull out, his whimper must be pathetic, because Alexei rubs his leg and soothes him with soft words as he puts on the condom.

Then Alexei is pushing into him without any more teasing. When he’s filled Kent up as much as he can, Alexei gently lets Kent’s legs fall from his shoulders so he can lean his body over Kent. Logically, it can’t be his full body weight, but it’s enough that Kent can feel safe and let himself drift into a place where he doesn’t have to worry about anything except how good Alexei is making him feel.

“So good. So good for me,” Alexei says as he wraps his hand around Kent’s cock for the first time since they started. “You come for me whenever you’re ready now.”

Everything feels like so much that it only takes a few strokes before Kent is coming. He doesn’t pass out, and later he’ll be relieved about that because passing out would freak out Alexei out and ruin this amazing floaty place he’s in as Alexei finishes. Alexei doesn’t pull out right away, but he shifts them to their sides and pulls Kent into his arms. Kent’s out of it enough that he only whines a little when Alexei pulls out and reaches behind him to dispose of the condom. He reaches up to free Kent from the cuffs before slipping his fingers back inside Kent’s body so Kent doesn’t have to adjust to the emptiness before he’s ready. Kent must doze off for a bit, because when he wakes Alexei is cleaning his stomach with tissues.

He snuggles into Alexei’s chest until his head clears enough that he hates how sticky he is from sweat and leftover come.

“Ugh. I’m gross,” Kent mumbles into Alexei’s skin.

“You can get up to shower?” Alexei asks. “I’ll help.”

“Can’t you just magically make me clean?”

Alexei laughs.

“Would if I could.”

“Fine. Help me shower.”

Alexei half carries him to the shower and then holds him up as he cleans the sweat and come and lube off his skin.

“You hurt?” Alexei asks when Kent winces.

“Just sore. It’s okay.”

“I look after shower,” Alexei says and then helps Kent sit on the bench. Alexei washes himself in a fraction of the time he took with Kent and wraps Kent up in a towel after.

Alexei lets him wait curled up in the chair while he changes the sheets and then actually does pick him up and carry him back to bed.

“Was all okay?” Alexei asks after Kent’s curled against him.

“It was…probably the most intense sex I’ve ever had. Not just okay.”

“Good.” Alexei kisses his forehead and holds him. They’ll have to get up and eat soon, but for now, Kent just wants to enjoy how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short. Honestly it is it’s own chapter because basically every other character in Kent life refused to appear in this chapter. Lol
> 
> In other news, only one more chapter left! I will post it tomorrow if I wake up in time. If that doesn’t work out, it will probably be a full week. My life is super insane and my main time to post is on my train on my teaching commute.
> 
> The next big fic is honestly a mess and only at about 15k. And my super awesome beta/mental health consultant has the flu. :( So the next completed shorter fic to bridge the two may not post soon. I do however have a lot of deleted scenes that I’ll post without beta to try to fill the void for you guys.


	14. Chapter 14

**Reaper:** You got some time for us to talk after Mashkov goes home?  
**Parse:** Possibly.  
**Reaper:** It’s not so I can try to talk you into breaking up with him. It doesn’t really have anything to do with him.  
**Parse:** Then yes.  
**Reaper:** I just want you to be ok, kid. And I don’t trust Mashkov.  
**Parse:** I know and I AM ok. I thought you said it wasn’t about him.  
**Reaper:** It’s not. Just adding that in.  
**Parse:** Uh huh. Come over tomorrow? I should be free around 3.  
**Reaper:** That works.

***

Saying goodbye to Alexei is only easier because Kent knows he’s going to Providence in a week. After that, one of them will make a short trip in between the pre-season and the start of the regular season. Then they probably won’t be able to see each other again until the last week in October when the Falconers come to Vegas. Kent’s pretty sure the distance is going to be twice as hard now that he really knows what he’s missing.

“Can’t miss my flight. Grimm expect me to be gone when he gets here,” Alexei says when Kent pouts at him for trying to get out of bed for the third time. He’s already packed and dressed. He’s leaving clothes because he came to Vegas on such short notice that he ended up just buying clothes in Vegas. Kent doesn’t mind. Now he can wear Alexei’s t-shirts without having to wear Falcs stuff. He loves Alexei, but something about wearing gear from a different team just feels wrong.

“Reaper can wait another day.” Kent says. He only agreed to let Reaper come over today because it means Jeff has to give him extra time alone before he shows up uninvited to hover.

“Will not be easier tomorrow, and I need to be at fundraiser tomorrow.”

Kent can’t exactly tell Alexei to skip a fundraiser for at-risk kids, so he lets go after one last kiss. He still follows Alexei to the front door and holds on to him the entire time he’s waiting for a car to take him to the airport.

***

 **Kent:** Fuck I hate this shit so much.  
**Zimms:** Me too. It’s really selfish that I wish Bitty didn’t go see his parents for a week, but once he goes back to school, our hockey schedules will suck.  
**Kent:** I had to be reminded that if I didn’t let Alexei leave, I was stealing him from poor children.  
**Zimms:** We should probably be able to make it a week without bitching so much.  
**Kent:** I won’t tell if you won’t.  
**Zimms:** Deal. 

***

Kent knows that having Reaper come over is a good way to limit how much time he spends moping in bed, but he’s still dragging as he gets himself into the shower. He drinks an extra cup of coffee to try to make himself feel more alive. The last thing he needs is for Reaper to take one look at him and blame Alexei when the only reason Kent’s depressed is that Alexei is so amazing.

“I know you,” Kent says after he lets Reaper in and walks with him to the living room. “It might not be about Alexei, but you’re going to bring it up.”

“I haven’t actually decided if I am yet,” Reaper says.

“So, what’s up?” Kent asks when they’re seated in the living room.

Reaper’s quiet for a bit, and Kent waits. Reaper’s not Jeff. He’ll step in and say a few words when Kent needs it. His support has always been there. But it’s rare that they have long talks about anything personal. Mostly, that’s okay. Just his presence in a room or on the ice makes Kent feel safer, and that’s enough.

“I want you to tell me if I ever fuck up with you,” Reaper says.

“I already do that,” Kent says.

“Not with hockey. Not with the team. With you. If I say something that’s not obviously homophobic, and I don’t get it and Swoops isn’t there to get mad at me, I want you to call me out. You don’t have to explain why. I know that’s not your job. Just call me out, and I’ll talk to Swoops or Matty or google it or something and fix myself.”

“You don’t really say anything bad already,” Kent says.

“I try. I’ve always tried since you knew me, and I know you think that’s because of Swoops and his moms and Matty and his sister, but it’s not. It’s because of you. Before, I kept my mouth shut because I’m not stupid. Saying bad things about Swoops and his moms would’ve been bad for the team, and I liked _him_ anyway, and he wasn’t gay. But I didn’t start thinking different until you.”

Reaper looks down at his hands when he adds, “Before you, if someone had asked me if I thought it would be okay to have a gay player on the team, I would’ve been lying when I said yes. You changed that. That wasn’t your job obviously, but I’m really glad you made me change my mind, and I thought you should know that.”

Kent doesn’t know what to say to that exactly. The silence is more uncomfortable the longer it lasts.

“Can I ask when?” Kent finally asks. “I’m not mad or anything. I’m just curious.”

“The Stanley Cup playoffs. Your rookie year.”

“What? Wait. I thought you slowly figured it out over the years. You’ve known since then? How?”

“Curren,” Reaper says. “I wasn’t sure, but I thought maybe. Mason had just been born, and when Swoops says I put all my new father feelings on you all season, he’s not wrong. I wasn’t sure, but I knew if someone was saying something like that about my kid, I’d want to know. So, I talked to Bob. He didn’t really confirm anything about you, but it was clear that you’d dated Zimmermann. For all I knew, you could’ve just been experimenting. But I realized then that all I cared about was that you were okay. I didn’t care about anything else. I decided right then that if you were gay, then I was wrong about everything I’d thought before. And I tried. I tried to show you it would be okay with me.”

“You did,” Kent says. “I didn’t come out because I’d just gotten used to it, and I didn’t want to talk about Zimms, but it wasn’t anything you did wrong. When I started wanting people to know, well you got the dinner invite even though I knew you were going to give Alexei shit. Because Swoops pointed out that I was avoiding telling you for the wrong reasons.”

“I don’t care what you wear or what you like. None of that matters. And I’m not letting anyone else say it does.”

“You already said that, but I knew that, okay? I wouldn’t have invited you to dinner if I didn’t kind of know it would be fine.”

Reaper nods again.

“Mason came home from day camp yesterday and said one of the kids told him that boys could date boys. He asked me if that was true because if it was, he was going to date his best friend because he doesn’t want to ever date a girl. I guess, I’ve never told him it was okay. I just thought it was enough to not say anything bad.”

“You know it doesn’t mean anything, right? He’s five.”

“He asked me last year if he could figure skate instead of play hockey. I didn’t let him. I should’ve let him. I’m going to let him. I’m going to bring it up and tell him it’s okay.”

“You don’t have to apologize to _me_ for that,” Kent says.

“No. I’m not. I’m thanking you,” Reaper says. “You made me realize that I was fucking things up with my son before I couldn’t fix it. I don’t _care_. I never did. I just didn’t want things to be hard for him. This whole time, I kind of knew you weren’t being honest about who you were, but it never clicked before how awful and unhealthy that was for you. You made me realize that not accepting him is what would make it hard for him. I know it doesn’t mean he’s gay, but he should know it’s going to be okay to tell me if he is. I’m not saying you have some kind of obligation to come out and be an example, because that’s not fair to you. I just thought that you should know how much of a difference you’ve made with me just because I know you. And I’m really glad you were here to change how I thought of things.”

Kent’s quiet for a minute. He wonders if he should ask the other guys when they knew. Does it matter? Does he care?

“Thanks for telling me. It’s kind of crazy to hear and think about, but in a good way. And if you’re worried, I’m not disappointed that you didn’t think you’d be okay with a gay teammate until you realized you probably had one. I’m sure half the guys in the league wouldn’t really be totally cool with it right away,” Kent says after he thinks about it.

“I’m not sure if I’m relieved you’re not mad, or sad that you didn’t think better of me even if you weren’t wrong.”

“I didn’t think either way. I thought you probably wouldn’t hate me. Whether you’d be totally fine or weird I had no idea. And by the time I told you, it was fine.” Kent shrugs.

They’re quiet for a minute, but it’s not awkward this time. The whole thing is a lot to process. Kent can’t help laughing when he thinks about it.

“What?” Reaper asks.

“I think you just accidently convinced me to stop talking to my real parents and block their e-mail. Swoops and Zimms are going to be happy with you.”

“You don’t talk about them,” Reaper says.

“They hate that I’m gay. And that I’m _that kind_ of gay. We just kind of slowly stopped talking until it got to the point where we don’t talk unless I do something in the media that they don’t like, and then they e-mail me about it.”

“I kind of figured they were shit, but I wasn’t sure why.”

“When I was a kid, I knew they didn’t like gay people. I knew. But I used to hope that when they realized _I_ was gay, that it would change. Because they loved me. That’s not what happened. They, um, told me I could keep playing hockey if I’d forget about it and be straight. At this point, I think they know that didn’t work, but they think I’m just going to be single forever and that works for them I guess.”

“I’m going to agree with Swoops that you should block them then.”

“Yeah. So, I guess thanks for sort of doing for me what they didn’t do,” Kent says and then laughs again before continuing. “You know when I came here, I just thought that now I’d fucked up and lost Bad Bob. I felt like I had this second chance at parents that didn’t suck and then I had to date their real kid and fuck it all up. I didn’t expect come here and get like 5 new pseudo-parents.”

“Kid, you didn’t get pseudo-parents. You got real parents. Stop telling Swoops’ moms that they aren’t your parents. And you know damn well that Swoops himself considers you his actual brother. And you know me and Davy will claim you forever. Hell, I’ll keep Mills for as long as he wants. I think we both know I’ve become his real old boring dad, and you’re his much cooler hockey dad.”

Kent laughs. Reaper stands up and when he pulls on Kent’s arm, Kent stands and accepts his hug easily.

“And as one of your parents, I still don’t approve of your boyfriend.”

“You were so close. You almost made it.”

Reaper just shrugs and hugs him tighter for a few seconds before letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. This is the end of what I had written when I started posting American Dream. (Okay, technically this chapter was a late add on so that was really last week.) I started writing this just about a year ago. Craziness. Thanks for all the comments.
> 
> There will be a bit of a wait before I get to the next fic because I haven’t even sent an official version to my beta yet. And then the next big one is only about 10k in. Which is not really that much.
> 
> HOWEVER. I still have lots of extras that don’t spoil the future fics and they will go up on Gimme More.
> 
> I do have one thing I’d like opinions on. There are two OCs who have decided to have their own storyline. My beta loves it, but I have no idea how much you guys want to read about my other queer Aces. I’m debating toning down that storyline here to turn it into something publishable. Thughts? I’m really 50/50 on it. If people don’t care, I might as well try to make some money off the work. But it’s not a main income score and it will actually be hard to tone them down here because Kent is an involved captain. :/


End file.
